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Posted at 10:07AM, Jul. 15, 2009

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Heroes Unite: Fury
(3rd draft)
written by Joachim Lipski (http://user.drunkduck.com/Abt_Nihil)

Page 1
(1-1)
Establishing shot: Endless plains in the American midwest, bits of a forest on one side. At the
center of our attention: A farm at night, lit by moonshine.
Sound FX: Bark Bark Bark
(1-2)
The farm’s owner sleeping in his moon-lit bedroom, just waking up from the dog’s bark. His
wife (Angela) is lying next to him, sleeping.
Sound FX: Bark Bark Bark
Farmer: “Hush, old girl… it’s just a fox or something…”
(1-3)
Closer on his face. Eyes open now, he’s unsettled, doubting whether it’s really a fox.
Sound FX: Whhoooooshh
Farmer: “Or the wind…”
(1-4)
Same as 1-3, now he’s afraid.
Sound FX: Whud whud THUD
(1-5)
He’s getting up, grabbing a double-barrel shotgun.
Farmer shouts: “Angela! Quick, gather the children in the barn!”
He adds: “And get them some guns!”
Page 2
(2-1)
The farmer enters the living room in a hurry, fires a shot or two at someone off-panel.
Farmer: “I won’t EVER let you take them away from me!”
(2-2)
Archangel is standing in the splintered door, hidden in shadow. The golden parts of his
costume are glowing. His muscular frame is outlined by the moonlight, he’s looking imposing.
The shots bounce off his chest, leaving sparks or small cinders.
(2-3)
The farmer gasps and drops his shotgun as the muscular figure sweeps into the room and
grabs him by the neck, lifting him up a bit, his feets dangling.
Farmer: “Gasp”
Archangel: “It’s over.”
Titles: “Heroes Unite: Fury – Written by… art by…”
(2-4)
An FBI agent holds a photo of archangel into the imaginary camera. The agent’s face is a
grimace, he’s under stress, losing his temper.
FBI agent #1: “Gabriel Peterson.”
FBI agent #1: “Code-named Archangel.”
FBI agent #1: “Where is he?!”
Page 3
(3-1)
The HU Commander’s office inside the United Nations building, New York. It’s a bright,
sunny day. She’s sitting at her desk with her back to the wall. The room is relatively small, it’s
almost filled by closets and file storage boxes. It’s on one of the higher floors, so we’re
treated to a nice panorama view of NY through the room’s only window, which takes up the
complete wall to the Commander’s left. The room’s only door is to her right. The FBI agent is
standing in front of her desk (he may have just jumped out of a chair), another sunglassed
agent is standing two steps behind him.
HU Commander: “Well, how should I know? He’s YOUR keepsake, isn’t he?”
FBI agent #1: “Used to be. We know he signed up for the HU initiative, and we know you
like to keep track of your associates.”
HU Commander: “Not as much as you do, obviously.”
FBI agent #1: “Oh PLEASE. Your signature communicators do hide some sort of tracking
device, don’t they?”
(3-2)
HU Commander and FBI agent talking.
HU Commander: “Frankly, I couldn’t work here if I was the control freak you are. Because I
don’t have superpowers to keep my employees in line.”
FBI agent #1: “Then you’ll surely understand how dangerous having a loose cannon like Mr
Peterson under your wings might turn out to be. His government contract doesn’t deny him
the right to join associations like yours, but it does commit him to undergoing a psychological
test every other week. And he hasn’t shown up since Monday.”
(3-3)
HU Commander and FBI agent talking.
HU Commander: “Give him a break, why don’t you? From what he’s told me you’ve been
keeping him on a very short leash from day one. If I were him I’d take a week off after all
these years.”
FBI agent #1: “FYI, he hasn’t been taking time off just to go on holiday. Or maybe, I don’t
know, you’d consider disrupting government operations some kind of superhuman health spa?
Because just yesterday federal police raided a sect HQ on a farm in the midwest. Involved
months of planning. Destroyed in a jiffy by a mentally unstable guy you’re protecting.”
(3-4)
The two agents leave the room, our POV is towards the door opposite the window front.
FBI agent #1: “Oh, and please spare me another witty comeback. Just remember: Hiding him
from me constitutes a federal offense.”
(3-5)
Same point of view as 3-3. The agents have left, the HU Commander is sitting calmly at her
desk. You can’t see what she’s thinking.
(3-6)
Opposite view, out of the window. Archangel is knocking on the window from outside, where
he’s floating – grovelling like a dog outside in the rain who wants back inside. The HU
Commander frowns and remains seated.
Archangel: “Can I come back in now…?”
Page 4
(4-1)
HU Commander, adressing Archangel angrily while he enters the room through the window
the Commander’s just opened.
HU Commander: “What were you thinking, kidnapping that girl? As if we didn’t have enough
trouble with the government as it is!”
Archangel: “Whoa whoa WHOA! You think she’d be better of being probed and tested in a
secluded government facility, never seeing the light of day again?”
HU Commander: “If that was true, why did you take her ONLY?! There were plenty of other
kids in the barn that night, weren’t there?”
Archangel: “I… I’d listened in on the federal agents. They said she was to be the only one
handed over to the army.”
(4-2)
HU Commander turns away from him, making a gesture to accompany her ironic “oh great”
remark.
HU Commander: “Oh great. Meaning she’s either a threat to national security or something to
be used as a weapon. For all we know, you placed an H-bomb smack-dab in the middle of
New York.”
Archangel: “But…”
HU Commander: “We need to get her out of here and to a secluded spot immediately. Which
will NOW be very hard to do unnoticed.”
Archangel: “I could take her out of here, the same way I brought her in here.”
(4-3)
HU Commander is pissed off, frowning, turning her back to him.
HU Commander: “If this is all so easy to you, why didn’t you take care of this yourself in the
first place?”
Archangel: “I’m… I’m sorry, but… isn’t this what Heroes Unite is for? For solving problems
together that’d be hard for one of us to solve alone?”
HU Commander: “You got that wrong. HU is there to provide a network for the gifted few, to
combine and oppose threats which endanger countless people. You did the exact opposite –
you put countless people in danger for the sake of two.”
Archangel: “Come on – you’re saying all that just to ease your own conscience, don’t you? I
know that deep down you want nothing more than to help us.”
HU Commander: “How come you’re so sure of that?”
Page 5
(5-1)
Their debate continues with retained anger on both sides.
Archangel: “You call yourself a commander, but you can’t physically enforce one one single
order you’re giving your men. You’re just a regular human being walking among supermen
with god-like powers. The only thing you can possibly base your work on is your faith in
them.”
HU Commander: “I don’t need someone with a name like yours telling me about faith. See, if
even one of you were to violate my rules, every other super in the world would be there to go
after him.”
Archangel: “Yeah… and they’d do so after they’re done scraping you off the wall.”
(5-2)
HU Commander about to leave her office, not paying attention to Archangel.
HU Commander (she looks irritated because he did have a point, but she tries her best to
downplay it): “Look, I’m still here, while Energize – on the other hand – is still on the run.
Out of the two of us, who do you think is better off right now?”
(5-3)
As the HU Commander leaves, Archangel looks misplaced in this office – he realizes the
weight of his words and regrets having said them.
HU Commander (off-panel): “Come on, we’ve got a problem to solve. The one you caused,
remember?”
(5-4)
The HU Commander enters an interrogation room in which Alicia is sitting. The room looks
cold and sterile. Alicia is calm and detached, looking frail and misplaced. The HU
Commander tries to make her more comfortable by putting on a sympathetic, caring attitude.
HU Commander: “Sorry to keep you waiting. I realize this isn’t the most cheery of places.”
Alicia: “It suits me just fine. Keeps me calm.”
Alicia (checks out the HU Commander’s suit, which must seem VERY odd to her, who’s
lived all her life out on a farm): “…Are you an alien or something?”
Page 6
(6-1)
Close-up: The HU Commander is a bit startled, taps the frame of her glasses.
HU Commander: “What… oh. You’ve never seen such sleek retro-futuristic glasses, right?”
(6-2)
Semi-close-up: Alicia points at the Commander’s suit, a bit embarassed.
Alicia: “No no… the suit.”
(6-3)
The Commander looks down on herself.
HU Commander: “Oh.”
HU Commander : “OH. Oh please… Not you too.”
(6-4)
The Commander sits down next to her.
HU Commander: “See, me and my team have got this whole floor to ourselves. Ten stories
above and ten more below you won’t find anything else than suits and ties. So… we’re a
laughing stock as it is, thank you very much.”
HU Commander (hints at the coffee machine): “Can I get you anything?”
Alicia: “Yeah. My family. Where’d you take them?”
HU Commander: “Don’t worry, they’re with the police. And in case no one told you… I’m
not police. They never mind us helping them. But for some reason they mind us being
organized now.”
(6-5)
A questioning look from Alicia.
HU Commander: “Walk with me, okay? I’m really not a fan of this…”
(6-6)
Alicia tries to get up, but stumbles and falls over.
HU Commander: “…room…”
HU Commander: “Alicia!”
Page 7
(7-1)
Black panel.
Bubble: “…doctors don’t know what to do…”
Bubble: “…never seen anything like it…”
Bubble: “Can you hear me?””
(7-2)
Alicia’s POV, she’s lying in a hospital bed, the HU Commander sitting next to her.
HU Commander: “How are you feeling?”
Alicia: “I’m… I’m fine…”
(7-3)
Alicia has a tube in her nose and another one in the vein of her right arm. Camera close to
the characters.
Alicia: “This wasn’t… the *cough* first time… the first time God took me.”
HU Commander (she’s seriously concerned): “For… for how long has this been going on?”
Alicia: “For about as long as I can remember. But it’s happening more frequently now.”
(7-4)
Alicia tries to get up, as much as the tubes allow her to. We are treated to a view of the
hospital room (so we’ll instantly recognize it on page 9).
HU Commander: “Hey! You shouldn’t…”
Alicia: “I’m fine. HE will take care of me.”
(7-5)
Foreground: The HU Commander’s fist hitting her desk. Background: A concerned
Archangel.
HU Commander: “Damn!”
(7-6)
HU Commander sitting behind her desk, looking somewhere between concerned and furious.
Archangel standing in front of her desk.
HU Commander: “I really hope she wasn’t talking about the same God that’s been taking care
of her these past 21 years!”
Archangel: “It’s some sort of disease?”
HU Commander: “Looks like a genetic one. She’s breaking down at a cellular level.”
Archangel: “God!”
HU Commander: “Exactly.”
Page 8
(8-1)
Archangel thinking.
Archangel: “Didn’t… uh, didn’t someone’s rogue gallery include a villain who had some sort
of a morphing weapon? Who could combine several people into one? What was his name…?”
HU Commander: “Um, what are you getting at?”
Archangel: “How about we combine The Flea and Blitz and educate them in genetics? And
they could reconstruct her from the inside?”
HU Commander: “You’re kidding, right? What we should do now is what we should have
done in the first place. Take her to the feds.”
(8-2)
Archangel in denial. HU Commander gets up and walks up to him.
HU Commander: “They’ve got her files and they’ve got her father in custody who probably
did this to her by tampering with her genes. Because according to the agent who’s been here
earlier, THAT’s the offense he’s said to have committed, and that’s why the feds brought him
in last night. Illegal genetic experiments with the kids at his farm.”
Archangel: “Yeah, but…”
HU Commander: “Listen. It’s not too late. And you don’t want to make this any worse.”
Archangel: “I don’t…”
HU Commander: “I know you can’t stand the thought of her being tested at government
facilities, or being under close surveillance for the rest of her life. I know you don’t want her
to live the life YOU’ve been living. And make no mistake, I don’t wanna see her caged as
well. But it’s a small price to pay at this point.”
Archangel: “Oh, that’s easy for you to say! YOU’RE not the one paying.”
(8-3)
She slaps him, furiously.
(8-4)
She walks out, grim and decisively.
(8-5)
Archangel looking grim but calm. He has made his choice.
(8-6)
Inside a federal prison: Archangel crashes through the ceiling, floating downward.
Page 9
(9-1)
Archangel bending the bars of the cell which Alicia’s father is being held captive in. Alicia’s
father is afraid.
Archangel: “Let’s take a trip.”
(9-2)
Outside: Archangel crashes through the prison’s brick wall, holding Alicia’s father; flying
into the sky, Alicia’s father dangling below.
Sirens: WHHEEEEEEOOOWWWEEEE
(9-3)
HU Commander speaking into a cell phone, standing in front of the hospital bed we saw on
page 7. It’s empty (but not tidy – as if someone just got up).
HU Commander: “Red alert.”
(9-4)
The HU Commander walking down a corridor in the UN building, her personnel trying to
catch up with her.
HU Commander: “Can we triangulate Archangel’s position?”
HU staff #1: “Roughly. He’s still in the city. Downtown Manhattan.”
HU Commander: “Which of our A- and B-list members are on stand-by in the vicinity?”
HU staff #2 (looking at a sort of Blackberry device): “Um…”
Page 10
This page shows our team of heroes getting the call to action: Quantum. The Blonde Marvel.
The Impractical Mr Imp.
Page 11
(11-1)
A warehouse storage area, populated by mannequins/fashion dolls. Some mirrors leaned
against the wall, packing materials on the floor. Windows on one side, we can see it’s not too
high up, judging from the shiny polished shop windows of downtown NY - maybe 4th or 5th
floor. Two chairs facing each other in the middle of the room. Alicia’s father sitting on one,
Alicia standing behind the other, Archangel standing next to her.
Archangel: “Please, take a seat.”
(11-2)
Alicia’s clearly very uncomfortable, but sitting down. Archangel glaring at her father.
Alicia: “Please, you don’t…”
Archangel (asking Alicia’s father): “Anything you’d like to say…?”
Alicia: “Father, I…”
(11-3)
Her father’s got a mean attitude.
Alicia’s father: “Silence, child.”
(11-4)
Archangel slaps Alicia’s father. Archangel is clearly restraining himself, but he’d very much
like to hit harder.
(11-5)
Alicia’s father loses his composure and looks exhausted, with a slight nosebleed. Archangel
shouts at him.
Archangel: “YOU JUST ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS!”
Page 12
(12-1)
Alicia looks as if she felt the hit herself.
(12-2)
Flashback (Alicia’s memory). Colored completely in hues of red and black. Alicia’s father is
holding a bloody knife. He’s furious, glaring.
Alicia’s father: “This is what happens when you allow your anger to cloud your mind!”
(12-3)
Archangel notices Alicia’s painful expression and is very, very sorry.
Archangel: “Is, uh… is that clear…?”
(12-4)
Flashback (Alicia’s memory). Colored completely in hues of red and black. Alicia is cowering
next to her mother in a kitchen. They wear old-fashioned dresses. Alicia shows bruises and a
bit of blood, while her mothers dress is clearly much more bloody. This shot is all about
hinting at her mother’s wounds, please don’t show any directly.
Alicia’s father (off-panel): “The only love be God’s love! The only wrath be God’s wrath!”
(12-5)
Close-up on Alicia’s eyes. She’s only seeing her memories. Her eyes wide open, her
expression distorted by anger and disgust.
Alicia’s father (off-panel): “M-my…”
(12-6)
Alicia’s father is fixating her with his all-penetrating gaze. Archangel is captivated, seeing
something horrifying while looking at Alicia (Alicia being off-panel) – we can’t see what it is,
but he’s cearly surprised and frozen in terror.
Alicia’s father: “M-my child…”
Page 13
(13-1)
We see a glimpse of Alicia’s transformation – close-up on her face which is still human,
showing the pain she’s going through, but parts of her arm and her hand (held up to her face)
are Fury’s (see character design sheet).
Alicia: “Arrrrrhh”
(13-2)
Archangel watches in horror, Alicia’s father beside him (the latter is more frustrated than
horrified, given he has seen this quite a few times).
Archangel: “N-no…”
Alicia’s father: “Alicia, listen to me… the only wrath be…”
(13-3)
Quantum zooms through the storage room’s entrance, unhinging the door. He’s just a blur,
going for Alicia.
(13-4)
Quantum grabs Alicia and smashes through the window, taking her outside. What little we
can see of her is clearly not human anymore.
(13-5)
Archangel standing at the smashed window, Alicia’s father behind him.
Alicia’s father: “You fool! Look what you’ve done!”
Archangel: “What I’ve done? Coming from some yokel who went all Frankenstein on her!”
Alicia’s father: “I was trying to save her, you idiot! That thing is in her blood, it’s her genetic
heritage! I was working on a cure!”
Page 14
(14-1)
Archangel is embarrassed, realizing that it’s all his fault. He’s floating outside, in front of the
smashed window now.
Archangel: “…I… I…”
Archangel: “I’m going to make things right again. I promise.”
(14-2)
Same as 14-1, but now the Blonde Marvel is entering the panel, floating.
The Blonde Marvel: “No you won’t. The Commander wants a word with you.”
(14-3)
Archangel creates a forcefield stretching out his fists, which looks like a moebius strip (see
character sheet). It hits the Blonde Marvel like a punch in the gut, knocking the wind out of
her and sending her flying…
Archangel: “I don’t have time for this!”
(14-4)
The Blonde Marvel hits the wall of the opposite building. Archangel exits the panel, following
Alicia and Quantum.
Archangel: “Alicia!”
(14-5)
The Blonde Marvel picks herself up.
The Blonde Marvel: “… the hard way then.”
Page 15:
This whole page is basically one image of Quantum and Alicia crashing (vertically/diagonally
over several floors) through a building, broken down into four or five panels, with the
individual panels tracking their movement. Each panel shows more destruction than the
previous (have fun with lots and lots of debris), and in the final panel Alicia should have
completed her transformation into Fury (the first panel starting with a half-transformed
Alicia).
Page 16 & 17:
These pages depict how fighting between Quantum and Fury starts, and how Mr Imp joins the
fight:
Downtown NY, a shopping district. It's around noon, sunny. Fury is on a rampage,
causing massive destruction. This will be the first time we see Fury from head to toe, so make
sure to give him/her/it a dramatic entrance. Quantum tries to punch Fury, but Fury gets at him
first and sends Quantum flying into a big advertisement on a building top… the ad turns out to
be the shape-shifting Mr Imp (note: anything Mr Imp morphs into still has his trademark grin
and eyes on it), catching Quantum.
Page 18:
(note to the artist: divide this into as many panels as you see fit)
Downtown NY. Fury is occupied with doing as much damage to the area as possible.
Quantum and Mr Imp are about to resume their attack on Fury, but Archangel flies in and
intervenes, trying to hold them back.
Archangel: “Wait, just… give me a chance to calm her down.”
Mr Imp raises a brow: “Her? That thing’s a she?”
Quantum: “Can’t answering that question wait until we’ve knocked it out? Or her?”
Archangel: “Fighting her won’t do. We should rather try and change her back somehow.”
Quantum: “Well, somehow’s not enough. You’ve got to give me something to work with.”
Mr Imp: “Yeah, like… (-> insert quip about how to best calm her down here. I’m really not
good at quips). Just an idea.”
Archangel: “She knows me, okay? Just let me talk to her.”
Archangel walks up to Fury, leaving Quantum and Mr Imp behind. The latter two, especially
Quantum, are itching to intervene. Fury isn’t paying any attention to the three, still occupied
with demolishing the area.
Page 19:
(19-1)
Archangel is talking to Fury’s back, while Fury is mashing things up. Archangel is looking
small compared to Fury (who’s about 3-4 metres (9-13 ft) tall at this point).
Archangel: “Uh, Alicia? You in there?“
(19-2)
The Blonde Marvel passes by Quantum and Mr Imp, running or flying. She’s pissed off and
about to punch Archangel (who’s off-panel). Quantum’s taken by surprise, Mr Imp is
changing one arm into a sort of lasso.
The Blonde Marvel: “Rrrrahh!”
(19-3)
Mr Imp holds The Blonde Marvel back with his lasso-arm. Quantum holds Mr Imp, who’d
otherwise succumb to The Blonde Marvel’s momentum and be dragged along. Mr Imp gets
stretched in the process.
Mr Imp: “Wait! Let him try his shtick!”
(19-4)
The Blonde Marvel is not happy about being held back, but gives in and joins Quantum & Mr
Imp in watching Archangel’s efforts from the sidelines.
Quantum: “We can still apprehend him after he’s done with that thing. Or after that thing’s
done with him. Either way, it’s a win-win-situation, really!”
The Blonde Marvel (to Quantum): “You know, you’re sounding just like my bank counselor.”
Mr Imp: “Oooh. That’s gotta hurt.” (This line should be ambiguous, could be directed at Fury
punching Archangel (off- or on-panel, what you like best) or The Blonde Marvel comparing
Quantum to bank counselors. If possible, please reflect this ambiguity visually.)
Page 20:
(20-1)
Archangel has Fury’s attention, but he’s just a nuisance to her: Fury slaps him like someone
who would try to get rid of a flea. Archangel grits his teeth and continues trying to talk sense
into her.
Archangel: “Don’t you see? You’re just giving them more reasons to lock you up for the rest
of your life!”
(20-2)
Profile shot of Archangel’s head, shouting desperately at Fury (off-panel)
Archangel: “Alicia! Listen to me!”
(20-3)
Same “camera position” as previous panel, but now it’s a close-up of Fury’s fist, having
punched Archangel out of the panel.
FX: Crack!
(20-4)
Mr Imp, Quantum and The Blonde Marvel look up, their eyes tracking Archangel who’s sent
flying from Fury’s punch.
Mr Imp: “Is it a bird? Is it a plane?”
Quantum: “Okay, he had his chance.”
The Blonde Marvel: “I’ll take care of him, you go after that thing.”
Mr Imp: “Roger roger.”
Page 21:
(21-1 & 21-2)
Archangel is sent flying high up into the air. He comes to a halt between the upper floors of
surrounding business buildings (large glass windows). He’s nursing an aching jaw.
Archangel: “Ouch. Should have kept my force field up.”
(21-3)
The Blonde Marvel joins him, eager to return the punch Archangel landed earlier.
The Blonde Marvel: “Care for another round?”
(21-4)
The Blonde Marvel punches Archangel.
FX: Crack!
(21-5)
Bird’s eye view of Quantum and Mr Imp fighting Fury, no holds barred.
Page 22:
(22-1)
Archangel shouts at Blonde Marvel. He’s frustrated. They’re still floating between buildings,
high up in the air.
“Don’t you see? They’re just making her madder! Making her stronger!”
(22-2)
Mr Imp and Quantum are fighting a growing Fury (about 4 metres tall now). Fury’s rocky
skin is cracking, lava spilling from it. Quantum and Mr Imp also have to fight the intense
heat.
Mr Imp: “Is it just me, or is this thing growing?”
(22-3)
Same “camera position” as panel 1, now Archangel is practically begging.
Archangel: “Please, just let me talk to her…”
(22-4)
The Blonde Marvel punches Archangel again.
FX: Crack!
The Blonde Marvel: “The two of you will have a lot of time to talk in that cell you’ll be
sharing.”
Page 23:
(23-1)
1st flashback panel. This should look dream-like, hazy (- personally, I’ve found a dream-like
atmosphere to be communicated by using a combination of extreme clarity in the foreground
and haziness in the near distance. That’s what I’m envisioning here). A young archangel
(between 10 and 12 years old) is restrained in a strange, surreal sci-fi sort of medical
apparatus. Shadowy silhouettes of doctors are visible in the background, conducting the
computer tomography on him. Their discussion is subdued, signified by there being no arrows
on their speech bubbles.
Doctor 1: “…extraordinary telekinetic abilities…”
Doctor 2: “…force fields…”
Doctor 3: “…never seen anything like it…”
Doctor 4: “…effortlessly bending space-time around him…”
(23-2)
Back to the present: Archangel is on the ropes, tired of Blonde Marvel’s assaults, seriously
considering to punch her back. He’s literally seeing the images I indicated as flashback panels
(23-1, 23-3 & 23-5).
(23-3)
2nd flashback panel. A young archangel sitting on his bedside, slightly older than in the
previous flashback panel (maybe 14 to 16?). He’s sad. A sterile environment, desperately
enhanced by posters on the walls signifying his yearning for the outside world (these might be
pop-cultural posters as well as intriguing landscapes). One of the doctors from panel 1 (we
don’t need to identify him, to Archangel he’s a faceless drone anyway) is standing next to
him, making some notes on a small electronic pad.
Doctor: “The concert? Oh no, we still need to run a lot more tests before we can safely let you
go outside again.”
(23-4)
Archangel releases his anger and punches The Blonde Marvel. It’s a mighty punch.
Archangel: “Rrrraaahh!”
FX: Crack!
The Blonde Marvel: “Ooof!”
(23-5)
3rd flashback panel. This is a homage to the famous scene in Katsuhiro Otomo’s movie Akira,
in which a hospital-bound Tetsuo crushes a group of security men on the walls around him by
subconsciously erecting a sphere-shaped force field. The force-field’s shape can only be
inferred from the damage to the walls around him. This panel right here shows Archangel
doing the same, with the difference being that the security men are the doctors we previously
saw, and that the whole scene isn’t that bloody. They may just be unconscious, we do not
need to know. What’s important is that Archangel is walking away from the “camera” toward
a door with an exit sign, the sphere-shaped damage to the hospital corridor having been done
in the foreground.
Page 24:
(24-1)
Archangel is “powering up” (this doesn’t need to look like more than extreme concentration
on his part), The Blonde Marvel is about to land another punch.
Archangel: “Hhnnngrrr”
(24-2)
Large panel, zooming out from the previous: Archangel releases a sphere-shaped force field
as described on the previous page, panel 5. The Blonde Marvel is thrown backwards, the
buildings around them crumble, showing the sphere-shaped damage, with the center of the
sphere being Archangel.
Archangel: “Rrrahh!”
The Blonde Marvel: “Aaah—“
Page 25:
(25-1)
Mr Imp looks up, terrified. He’s in the foreground, in the background Quantum is getting
knocked out by Fury.
Mr Imp: “Oh my God, did you see—“
(25-2)
Same “camera position” as previous panel, now Mr Imp gets the reward for his being
distracted: he’s also punched & k.o.’d by Fury. In the near background, the Blonde Marvel is
falling to the ground.
(25-3)
Large panel. Fury is standing at the center of the devastation he caused. Traces of lava are
everywhere. Mr Imp, Quantum and The Blonde Marvel are out cold. Fury is gigantic (ca. 5-6
metres (16-20 ft) tall) and, well, furious.
Fury: “Rrrrrrraaaaahhhhrrrrr”
Page 26:
(26-1)
A UN chopper is flying over Fury’s head. Fury turns her head to look at it. She recognizes
something.
Fury: “Huuhhhrr—?“
(26-2)
Archangel is high up in the air, looks down, sees the chopper. His face/posture is expressing a
mixture of regret (he never intended to cause as much damage as he did) and cluelessness
(who might that be in the chopper?).
(26-3)
The chopper lands in the middle of the streets, amid the ruins of Fury’s path. The first one to
get off the chopper is Alicia’s father, with the HU Commander following.
(26-4)
Fury is spellbound and calm, a spark of recognition in her eyes.
Page 27:
(27-1)
Close-up on Alicia’s father. He’s austere, but not mean.
Alicia’s father: “The only love be God’s love.”
(27-2)
Alicia’s father walks up to Fury, stretching out his hand, while keeping a certain distance to
avoid the heat emanating from Fury. While he remains austere, there’s also a kindness in his
gesture.
Alicia’s father: “The only wrath be God’s wrath.”
Alicia’s father: “Remember Mom.”
(27-3 – 27-X)
Flashback: This goes back to the flashbacks from page 12, please make sure readers would
recognize this. We now see that in fact it was a partially transformed Alicia who had
unintentionally inflicted hurt on her mother. Her father only took the knife to protect his wife
and himself. All of this has to be communicated visually in a clear way. You can use as many
panels as you see fit.
Page 28:
(28-1)
Fury shrinks and changes back.
(28-2)
Alicia faints in the arms of her father.
(28-3)
Alicia’s father takes her aboard the chopper. The HU Commander is helping him.
Alicia’s father: “These are code words I used as a hypnotic code, inducing calmness. I’ve
been training her to respond to these since her early childhood.”
HU Commander: “In case of incidents like this.”
Alicia’s father: “…yes.”
(28-4)
Archangel floats to the ground, carefully approaching the chopper. Alicia and her father are
inside, the HU Commander glares at Archangel with restrained anger.
Archangel: “Commander, I…”
Pan(28-5)
Close up on Archangel’s hands. They are being bent behind his back by The Blonde Marvel’s
hands and cuffed. He puts up no resistance.
FX (cuffs): Click
(28-6)
Archangel is standing close to the “camera”, his surprised face towards the reader. The
Blonde Marvel behind him, cuffing him. Behind The Blonde Marvel: Mr Imp & Quantum,
dusting themselves off. The three heroes behind Archangel are looking at him angrily.
The Blonde Marvel: “Not another word.”
Page 29:
(29-1)
Close-up on Bombshell in civilian/office outfit (see reference).
Bombshell: “Handcuffs? Seriously?”
(29-2)
Zoom out to reveal her sitting in the HU Commander’s office, opposite the Commander. It’s
evening, the sun is setting. There’s not much room in her office, but try to find a nice spot for
them to sit and talk. The Commander may be sitting behind her desk, having just completed
some paper work. Although I’d envision she would show more respect to her colleague and
not have her desk separate them. Your choice.
HU Commander: “Sure, they don’t mean anything to a super of his potential. But they mean a
lot in the public eye. Plus, they’re sending a signal to the federal agencies. At this stage it’s all
about sending signals. Commanding an army of supers, I realized pretty early on that if there
were any battles left personally for me to fight, they’d be symbolic battles.”
HU Commander: “Coffee?”
Bombshell: “Uh, you got some hot chocolate?”
(29-3)
The Commander gets up to get some coffee. She opens the largest closet in her office (see
reference), revealing a coffee machine and a small sink. She takes out two cups.
HU Commander: “Yeah, no prob. Just another button on the machine, really.”
Bombshell: “Ah. Visit me in my office some time and I’ll pour you some real hot chocolate.”
Bombshell: “So… how did he take it?”
(29-4)
The HU Commander has the machine pour coffee and hot chocolate into the cups.
HU Commander: “Gabriel? Oh, he did come in quietly. He only threatened to kill me when
we were alone later on, in the holding cell.”
Bombshell: “He did?”
HU Commander: “He said, and those were his words: I could kill you with but a thought.”
(29-5)
The Commander sits back down, handing Bombshell one of the two hot cups.
Bombshell: “That’s not a threat. That’s just his wounded self esteem speaking.”
HU Commander: “Yeah… I know. I’ve received a lot more credible death threats in my
career. Still, he was speaking the truth.”
Page 30:
(30-1)
HU Commander & Bombshell sipping their drinks, talking.
Bombshell: “And that’s why it wasn’t a threat. See, if I told you that I could kill you in a jiffy,
well, that wouldn’t be a threat, it would be my applying for a job.”
HU Commander: “A job? You mean, you think he didn’t want to leave?”
Bombshell: “Oh abso-friggin-lutely.”
(30-2)
HU Commander & Bombshell sipping their drinks, talking.
HU Commander: “Stupid question, I know. Well, there’s no way in hell he could stay, after
what he’s done. And after what I’ve done… after protecting him for so long. I just wish… I
just wish he’d have grown up under different circumstances.”
Bombshell: “Yeah, well, federal testing facilities aren’t the best place to spend your
childhood. But HU’s not a daycare center either. The girl’s staying with the government?”
HU Commander: “Yup. So Gabriel’s return to the feds won’t be quite as humiliating to him.”
(30-3)
HU Commander & Bombshell sipping their drinks, talking.
Bombshell: “You mean he can watch out for her. Help her come to terms with what she is.”
HU Commander: “I think she’s come to terms with that years ago. Her father did a pretty
good job after all. I think Gabriel’s rather helping her come to terms with being government
property from now on. Still, I can’t help but regret losing a soldier.”
Bombshell: “Oh, don’t give me that hard-boiled crap.” (smirks)
(30-4)
The HU Commander smirks back.
HU Commander: “Heh.”
(30-5)
HU Commander & Bombshell are finishing their drinks. The HU Commander is back to
being serious, she seems a bit absent… there’s something at the edge of her mind, unsettling
her.
HU Commander: “No, really. I feel there’s something brewing. We need everyone.”
Bombshell: “What, you got new intel on the mind-device case? Or that guy bombing
embassies, calls himself Change?”
HU Commander: “Nah, none of that. Just a feeling I got, s’all.”
(30-6)
Bombshell leaves the Commander’s office, making a “bye” sort of posture.
Bombshell: “Well, good thing about feelings is… they’re much easier to change than what
they’re about.”
(30-7)
The Commander is left to her own devices, looking out the window, letting her mind wander.
Caption: The End.

Original page 31: