how to be homeless

Author notes

mental issues

rmccool

on June 2, 2018

when I hurt.. and dont feel good I get in a bad place..in my mind…I was afraid to say I cant do this it hurts… to a boss. so keep going and going letting the pain get worse and worse..till I was crying .. using pressure wraps on my wrists and hands today. put heat on them last night.. took meds today still hurt.. have a fever.. when I hurt I get lost in the darkness…
cant decide if I am still at this job as I am choosing what I dont want ..or because I am afraid to choice as a different choice might be worse.. I am afraid of not having a job.. or that I believe I disserve to hurt.. next week they are going to start 10 hour days no days off..it feels bleak…..I have wasted this day hurting and being sad..so I guess I have chosen to be sad, to hurt,,,,to be wrong…when I hurt I can hear the void calling ..