Smug I Could Do

Author notes

webcomics heh

on April 4, 2009

How do you know if you have IT? Well you've either got IT or you don't. Me. I got IT. Oh yes. IT I got. Whereever I go and whatever I do all eyes are fixed on me. Just the other day I was at Quiznos getting my toasted sub on and the wage slave asked me what soda I wanted. I paused for a moment to contemplate which sugary libation would receive the honor of gracing my esophagus.

I turned around to survey the lunch crowd assembled behind me. All eyes were on me. They were inexorably transfixed by my Gordian dilemma. I turned to face the clock on the wall and watched the minute hand eke towards high noon. I felt like Ozymandius, my awesome intellect guiding this helpless mass of the great unwashed towards the future. Oh you want me to hurry up because you're going to be late for work? Well boo fucking hoo. I'm a PROFESSIONAL, I'm doing YOU a favor Ok? I turned back to the register and made my judgement uttering the words that would shine a light in the darkness and guide this motley crew towards a better tomorrow.

"Sprite." Heh.