Thread "10 Things You Wish You Knew Before Your First Day On The Sales Floor." in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 9:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

lol, you guys would proably love reading those sites:

http://www.iworkwithfools.com/

http://www.customerssuck.com/

awesomely hilarious. kinda scary that such idiots exist out there though. O_O

Posted at 10:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

Those ARE hilarious. I'm not good with customers, either, and I had a tendency to take control of just about every situation to bring the power back to me…which is why I'm going to be a cop now, hahah.

The only thing that I've liked doing other than that is being the V.P. of Advertising for my family business. I only deal with other advertising people, which is a lot of fun

Posted at 11:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

you get treated like crap when you are in retail.
but it does push you to get a college education like i did.

now i get respect from people and am a nurse supervisor :)

Posted at 12:11AM, Nov. 28, 2007

During my 1st day though, I was asked right away by a customer where to find men's clothes. I told him I dunno since its my 1st day on the job. thats 1 thing you need to know.

I sell chocolates VERY EXPENSIVE chocolates

In that case the men's clothes are just to the left of the Belgian raspberry twirls. Aisle 6.

Posted at 8:11AM, Nov. 30, 2007

I remember back to my coffee house days I got a Phone call…
the place was called Coffee on Crawford…

I answer the Phone…Coffee on Crawford.

"Da Yinz sell Cawfee?"
A rough womans voice did Inquire
I did respond as follows…
" mostly we deal in prostitution and gun Running, the Coffee is just a front."

The lady said nothing.

Posted at 10:11AM, Nov. 30, 2007

I once had a person ask if we had a restroom. My trainer looked at the guy straight faced and said, "…no". The guy slunk his head and left the store.

Retail customers, per capita, have to be the dumbest sons-of-morons that can be

Posted at 9:12AM, Dec. 1, 2007

I once had a person ask if we had a restroom. "…no".

I can't Blame him.

can't people take thier relievings to some other establishment.

I mean…WFT!

I got a few stories about that too.

I will continue over in the Adventures in retail…

Posted at 10:12AM, Dec. 1, 2007

I once had a person ask if we had a restroom. My trainer looked at the guy straight faced and said, "…no". The guy slunk his head and left the store.

Retail customers, per capita, have to be the dumbest sons-of-morons that can be

Yeah, how dare he have natural functions to obey.

Fuck all those toilet users, burn them all I say.

Posted at 1:12PM, Dec. 1, 2007

It is not the use of the toilet.
I am happy that their parents …or someone at some point taught them to Use indoor plumbing.
(especially washing their filthy digits)
I honestly am.
just…go somewhere else and drop your stank load, not in my place of commerce.

Posted at 6:12PM, Dec. 1, 2007

How to talk to people
How to listen to what they mean, regardless of what they are saying.

http://theleftangle.comicdish.com/?pageID=29

Posted at 9:12PM, Dec. 1, 2007

you get treated like crap when you are in retail.
but it does push you to get a college education like i did.

now i get respect from people and am a nurse supervisor :)

Word….

- The customer is not always right. Your boss will tell you to correct them, but when they ask for your boss, your boss will scold you in front of them and then kiss their tail.

- Ludacris' "Slap" will play in your head and loop at "I feel like killing my boss today" repeatedly.

- Lingerie stores are only fun to work at if you like sales and are androgynous. Male stockers willb e accused of sexual harassment and females will have problems being nice with every snotty female customer who throws the panties around, returns everything and buys nothing, which ruins your "sales quota."

- Your employee discount is a lie. They never allow you to get everything you REALLY want on it!

- Your check will be vehemently devoured by your discount, therefore you're only working for clothes and whatever else your store sells.

- Don't ever invite your friends to come see you, they'll try to get something for free or using your discount. . . and then you'll be warned/chided/written up.

- You will almost always be forced to stay past your time, and sometimes without being on the clock.

- People will call in late, knowing you need to get off to go home/to school/to get laid/to hang yourself for having such a horribl job.

- You will have nightlong bizarre and horrible dreams that you're at work, and then wake up and realize your dreams are about to come true… in the most horrible sense of the phrase.

- You will hate the store and its merchandise for about 3 months after you quit… minimum!

- You'll never enjoy people knowing your name and addressing you by it!

Posted at 6:12PM, Dec. 2, 2007

Well, considering that I've been working in retail for a couple of month now, I think I can give you ten things.

1. Always make jokes. Laughter has energy.

2. 50% of all customers will ask for a product that a) has been discontinued, b) is sold out, or c) has never existed. Then they will demand you find it for them.

3. Most customers will expect you to know what they like or tell them what they like and then get upset when you give them everything they dislike.

4. Customers get offended when you offer them assitance, but offended when you ignore them.

5. Always hide on your break. If not, customers WILL harass you and make you do stuff and things.

6. Try to just compliment a customer if they are wearing something nice.

7. Explain things to the best of your capacity.

8. Don't approch people who you think are stealing. They can sue for defamation of character…even if they actually stole shit.

9. Christmas is the worst time of the year…followed by Black Friday.

10. Keep all screaming, crying and desire to murder all humans outside the workplace.

Posted at 4:12PM, Dec. 3, 2007

I once had a person ask if we had a restroom. My trainer looked at the guy straight faced and said, "…no". The guy slunk his head and left the store.

Retail customers, per capita, have to be the dumbest sons-of-morons that can be

Yeah, how dare he have natural functions to obey.

Fuck all those toilet users, burn them all I say.

It was at Robinson's*May. The guy didn't even bat an eyelash when told "no" and sulked away. It's not that he wanted to use the restroom, it was his reaction. The sign for the restroom was in the middle of the aisle he was standing in.

Posted at 9:12PM, Dec. 8, 2007

I have been pretty lucky so far as the customers I have had to deal with.

Posted at 3:12PM, Dec. 14, 2007

I just snagged a job on my military base BX.
It's a small town… they can't be THAT butt holy!

Posted at 3:12PM, Dec. 14, 2007

Twelve years of retail have taught me the following things I wish I'd known at the start.

1. Customers are stupid and childish and don't WANT to understand anything you tell them.

2. The customer is always right within reason.

3. Know when to lie.

4. Panic will get you no where.

5. Lead by example, even with customers.

6. There is no such thing as a shelf stretcher or a sky hook in the world of retail.

7. It always "might come in on the next truck".

8. Be adult enough to admit you just screwed up horribly and then take responsibility for it.

9. The District Manager isn't just a butt hole.

10. Janitor is another word for "guy we don't really like".