Heh. This is a good idea. Maybe.
Post funny things that occur to that that have you laughing.
One thing that just had me cracking up… I was walking past one of my hatstands on on it there's this skull I made out of MDF back in art school. It's wearing a furry Russian style hat. I pulled its jaw open to make it look scary.
Anyway, that made me remember the skeleton that one of my friends made in the same class back then:
He really tried hard and made sure all the bones were the right shape and that the thing was painted all white etc. The trouble was that he'd always been horrible at anatomy. And just like his drawings, the legs on his skeleton were WAY too short, the arms were WAY too long, the chest was MASSIVE and the head was pretty big too. Add to that all the bits hung loose with metal pins… Including the jaw which hung STRAIGHT down…
And the whole thing hung upright from a metal stand.
:)
It looked like a screaming ape! Or the skeleton of a screaming ape that had died while being tortured… It was hilarious.
But he was so proud of it and had worked so hard on it, I couldn't laugh or say anything then. But the memory is still funny to me.
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Comic Talk and General Discussion *
Funny things.
The looks that are going to be on the faces of the security personnel and the dean at my school when they walk in and find the stencils of homeless people I painted on the wall for my project that my teacher ok'd but didn't have time to tell them about. Right underneath the nice big new sign they put up announcing that any and all vandalism within the school will be heavily punished with expulsion, fines, etc. I grin every time I think of the shock and horror the inherent irony of my work will cause on their faces. And I'm hoping it will get even better when the 8 am incoming student tour goes by them standing there being all upset in from of their new sign which now has graffiti all over it's wall.
I remember when I was 12 or so, I love to make prank calls with the payphone.
I dialed random numbers and ask:
- "Did you fart? Cuz it stinks over here and I can smell it."
- "I just farted/urinated/defecated. Just letting you know."
- "Do you have any idea how many asses/dicks/pussies you have?"
- "Is this the wrong number or the right number?"
man it still cracks me up thinking about it.
I remember these particular incidents.
1) I dialed the number for free call long distance. Then I asked the operator… "What's the name of your butt?"
He replied: gago gago gago… Stupid Filipinos!
2) Same thing as number 1 but this time a Filipino operator answered it. I said: Pare, paki hugasan mo nga pwet ko? Kakatae ko lang kase. Salamat." (Dude, can you please wash my ass? I just took a shit. Thanks.)
And he was like: "Sino tong putang inang tarantado na to?" (Who the hell is this fucking asshole?)
And I was laughing like crazy. lol!
Ah, prank calls are always fun…this summer I was with a couple of my friends and we decided to prank call another friend of mine.
So my friend called this guy and was like "Hey man, it's Dan!"(the guy's best friend's name)
He responded, "Dan who?"
"You know, your buddy, Dan!"
"Who?"
(trying to think on the spot)"You met me in a bar that time! Remember, you roofied my drink and then proceeded to take off my clothes and…"
*click*
I later found out that he had been in the car not only with his friend Dan(which is why he was confused) but also with his parents and that his cell had been on speakerphone. :P
I remember these two DJs that loved pulling pranks on people. One of the funnies things they ever did was when they underwent this elaborate counter scam that lasted weeks.
It started when one of them got an e-mail from some "business" person who was trying to get some money out of Nigeria. Naturally, the Nigerian needed a help with the endeavor and promised anyone who'd respond a cut of the deal. Whenever someone actually responds to a mail like that, he's informed in a reply that he has to forward over some money to help with the liquidation of the cash. Since the money that that the individual needs to fork over is mere pittance to the amount he stands to gain from helping the Nigerian out, the person who's now gone that far in the communications feels like he can't back out.
Anyways. The DJs felt like this was an opportunity they couldn't miss out on and responded, pretending to be a wealthy business man who owned a freezerhouse in Iceland. I've forgotten what they called him so let's call just him John since that was the name of the DJ who'd portray him in the future. The Nigerian responded and they started writing with each other. So for about a week they entertained themselves and their audience by reading out loud on the show what they wrote the Nigerian and what he wrote back. Then came the day the Nigerian wanted to talk to Mr. John. They decided to go on with it. This is where the hilarity ensued because the DJs decided to see for how long they could go on with pulling this guy's leg without him figuring them out and how ridiculous they could make the story and they created an entire soap opera around this guy.
It started of innocent. In the beginning Mr. John was very interested in talking to the Nigerians about the prospect of making money with these people. The letters always talked about this woman who was trying to get the hold of the money and that she needed help to acquire it. However the person that they got in touch with was a guy claiming to be her son. Mr. John finally admitted that he'd fallen in love with his mother while writing with her, that he wanted to marry her and that he wanted them to move to Iceland to live with him. Also, since he was gonna marry his mother, Mr. John wanted the Nigerian to start calling him dad. The Nigerian seemed surprisingly ok with it. Mr. John then started to dump on the poor fella all these personal problems that he was having, for example that he was clinically depressed and that he needed this deal to go through because he was at risk of loosing his freezerhouse.
Remember this is a span of several phone calls lasting weeks.
One day when the Nigerian calls them Mr.John is all upset. He has just lost his freezerhouse to his biggest rival, Mr.Ahab (At this time they were testing to see how much western literature this guy really knew, since he lived in Nigeria and all). The Nigerian was upset of course but John ensured him that he was still working on collecting the money he needed to help them out. It would just take a little longer. Later, when the Nigerian calls them, Detective Sherlock Holmes answers and informs him that Mr.John had committed suicide. My memory is a little fuzzy here but I remembered that there was this huge life insurance that John had and that his suicide note stated that it should all go to the Nigerians mother. It goes on that Johns body is stolen and that Dr. Frankenstein was to blame. It was somewhere around there when the Nigerian grew tired of this. Eventually the DJs admitted to the Nigerian,live on the radio, that they'd been pulling his leg the entire time and that they didn't have the slightest interest in helping him out at all.
Truly it was the greatest month in radio history in my opinion.
P.S. Just to emphasize how disturbingly odd these two guys are, here are two songs they made for their show featured. This one makes fun of rap while this one makes fun of slutty girl songs a.k.a britney.
This one actually happened to my sister.
She was waiting for the bus when this guy comes up to her holding a sign saying 'I am deaf and mute. Do you have any money I can borrow?' and by instinct she says "Sorry, I don't have anything". To her surprise, the guy immediately smiles and says "That's okay".
Ah, prank calls are always fun…this summer I was with a couple of my friends and we decided to prank call another friend of mine.
So my friend called this guy and was like "Hey man, it's Dan!"(the guy's best friend's name)
He responded, "Dan who?"
"You know, your buddy, Dan!"
"Who?"
(trying to think on the spot)"You met me in a bar that time! Remember, you roofied my drink and then proceeded to take off my clothes and…"
*click*
I later found out that he had been in the car not only with his friend Dan(which is why he was confused) but also with his parents and that his cell had been on speakerphone. :P
Ha ha! That's hilarious, I should try that sometime!
I remember some years ago in summer me and my friends got bored…
so we decided to go though the phone book to look for male locals who happened to have interesting or funny-sounding last or first names.
Some of the more interesting last names were:
Dub
Loblaw (if you say it really fast it sounds like you're saying blah blah!)
Pigg (no kidding)
Ho (again, not kidding)
Annis (sounds like anus if you say it a certain way)
Handwork
Greasadick
So once we had collected those individuals' phone number out of the book, we proceed to invent up our own prank calls and see how many of them would fall for it.
basically since all of us were mostly females, we decided to make up a story that we were looking to have some "lewd fun" under this bridge and not only that, but we'd claim to have met So-and-so somewhere, like a bar or even in the store.
And then we'd talk to those guys in this ridiculously sultry voice and do our best to make their last names sound dirty/ridiculous as possible.
example: "So since you gave me such a great time last time…I was thinking you could come to the bridge,Handwork. I'll give you an 'handwork' if you do.. if you get my meaning!"
I recall that Dub was just very confused. He believed that we had to meet somewhere since I knew his full name. He just couldn't remember! it was to the point where I almost felt sorry for him. but I was too busy laughing at his expense.
three just hung up really fast after they realized that it was a prank call.
The two others just seemed to play along, and seemed to have a good humor of sense about the whole thing. I'm sure that they even laughed a little bit at one point.
and even though we didn't really expect anybody to actually show up at the bridge, one actually did! one of my friends had came equipped for the event that any one of them actually did fall for the trick. She threw an large water balloon on him from the bridge and yelled: "sucker!" lol.
But then the cops showed up, so we had to stop that.
Don't know if this counts as funny but…
Years ago while on the job I heard some screaming on the floor above me (I was watching a condo at the time). I get up the stairs and there's a guy reaching into a screen window to try and open the door (he had torn the screen open). I called for backup and what do you know… there wasn't any available (that's what you get for being a Security gua…er… Officer).
I grabbed him from behind, forced him towards the railing and cuffed him to it. He pulled against it thinking he could break the handcuffs, shouting threats and obscenities to me.
Here's what I think is funny. The police came and picked him up and got my statement in the process. As they lead him away he was crying and sobbing saying he was innocent and begging/pleading/grovelling/or whatever that he not be taken to jail. And this is the same guy who was being tough and ferocious towards me just moments before the police arrived. Go figure…
I sent a bunch of emails to a guy I dont like. Basically its all about "I hate you so much, if I see you in my territory again I'm gonna punch you right in the face". Said in multiple paragraphs that when printed, its at least 3 pages with the same repetitive message.
It scared the daylights out of him.
Especially when I kept on sending him emails that talk about his whereabouts. Its like "I saw you in xxxx place. You were wearing a shirt of xxxx color and you were with xxxx, yyyy, and zzzz. And by the way, you were wandering into my territory again. My territory is xxxx, yyyy, zzzz, aaaa, bbbb, cccc, etc. and I dont wanna see you there."
Then I overheard him and his girlfriend fighting. He was yelling at her and asking her WHOS THAT GUY?!? And she's like "I dont know". And he's like "YOURE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME YOU BITCH!!! YOU'RE GOING WITH ANOTHER GUY BEHIND MY BACK!!!" Then she's like "I love you. I don't know what youre talking about." Then they finally broke up.
Man it was funny watching him terrorized. But at the same time though, I feel some regrets doing that. That was probably the meanest thing I did in my life.
Geez. I don't think that's funny at all. :[ I feel bad for the girl AND the guy.
Years and years ago, my friend was having utilities work done in front of her house. they had to replace a section of those huge concrete water mains (big enough to walk through) under the road. So there was a giant hole in her road. One day I came over so we could do something, and for some reason, she started screaming "What's in the hole, what's in the hole! Oh god i'm so excited there's a huge hole here I have to know!" and ran right up to the lip of the hole. I followed her and we both looked in.
Looking up at us from the bottom of the hole, which had the broken concrete section removed at the time so it was quite large and empty, was probably the most frightened looking 14-year old boy I've ever seen. My friend had scared the crap out of him with her yelling and he hid from us inside the opening to the intact part of the pipe.
My friend calmly said, "oh, sorry" and we walked away. We made it about five steps before we were laughing so hard we were crying. The kid climbed out as we watched and ran away.
I sent a bunch of emails to a guy I dont like. Basically its all about "I hate you so much, if I see you in my territory again I'm gonna punch you right in the face". Said in multiple paragraphs that when printed, its at least 3 pages with the same repetitive message.
It scared the daylights out of him.
Especially when I kept on sending him emails that talk about his whereabouts. Its like "I saw you in xxxx place. You were wearing a shirt of xxxx color and you were with xxxx, yyyy, and zzzz. And by the way, you were wandering into my territory again. My territory is xxxx, yyyy, zzzz, aaaa, bbbb, cccc, etc. and I dont wanna see you there."
Then I overheard him and his girlfriend fighting. He was yelling at her and asking her WHOS THAT GUY?!? And she's like "I dont know". And he's like "YOURE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME YOU BITCH!!! YOU'RE GOING WITH ANOTHER GUY BEHIND MY BACK!!!" Then she's like "I love you. I don't know what youre talking about." Then they finally broke up.
Man it was funny watching him terrorized. But at the same time though, I feel some regrets doing that. That was probably the meanest thing I did in my life.
Dude… not cool. I hope to God you're joking.
I sent a bunch of emails to a guy I dont like. Basically its all about "I hate you so much, if I see you in my territory again I'm gonna punch you right in the face". Said in multiple paragraphs that when printed, its at least 3 pages with the same repetitive message.
It scared the daylights out of him.
Especially when I kept on sending him emails that talk about his whereabouts. Its like "I saw you in xxxx place. You were wearing a shirt of xxxx color and you were with xxxx, yyyy, and zzzz. And by the way, you were wandering into my territory again. My territory is xxxx, yyyy, zzzz, aaaa, bbbb, cccc, etc. and I dont wanna see you there."
Then I overheard him and his girlfriend fighting. He was yelling at her and asking her WHOS THAT GUY?!? And she's like "I dont know". And he's like "YOURE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME YOU BITCH!!! YOU'RE GOING WITH ANOTHER GUY BEHIND MY BACK!!!" Then she's like "I love you. I don't know what youre talking about." Then they finally broke up.
Man it was funny watching him terrorized. But at the same time though, I feel some regrets doing that. That was probably the meanest thing I did in my life.
Reminds me of this:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/11/7/
When I was in college, I knew this dude who would always come up with an outrageous bullshit story then ask you (or everyone listening to him) any of the ff questions:
- Will you laugh?
- Is that funny?
- What will you do?
- Will you laugh at me or will you laugh with me?
Repetitively. This guy IS crazy and I'm the only one who'd listen to him because everyone else just gets annoyed by his crap.
One day he was telling a story about how he'd been in Iraq and managed to kill 20 Iraqi soldiers all by himself during that war. According to him, he ambushed them and he sprayed them all with his two MAC-10 submachine guns. Then he somehow came out of it without even getting a single scratch.
I know its TOTAL BS and sounds like a B movie action flick. Because first of all, a MAC-10 is a gangsta weapon and not a soldier weapon (maybe its sometimes used by 3rd world militias but I don't think that any uniformed organized army in the world would have it as a standard weapon).
But I was just sitting there and nodding my head. Pretending I'm believing him.
And then he said that one of his fellow soldiers got blown up with an IED in a humvee.
Then he asked me. "You think that's funny? Will you laugh? Huh? Huh? What will you do if you're that guy in the humvee who got blown up? huh? You think that's funny? Will you laugh? Huh?"
I said: "Yes. I will laugh. I think that's funny."
He looked at me. Like I must be crazy.
I continued: "I'll laugh my way to the other side. I'll enter heaven or hell laughing my ass off." And I was totally calm in answering him. Like its no big deal.
Then he just stopped talking. As in. Dead silence. He just kept giving me that weird look. As if he just met somebody who is more insane than he is.
I sent a bunch of emails to a guy I dont like. Basically its all about "I hate you so much, if I see you in my territory again I'm gonna punch you right in the face". Said in multiple paragraphs that when printed, its at least 3 pages with the same repetitive message.
It scared the daylights out of him.
Especially when I kept on sending him emails that talk about his whereabouts. Its like "I saw you in xxxx place. You were wearing a shirt of xxxx color and you were with xxxx, yyyy, and zzzz. And by the way, you were wandering into my territory again. My territory is xxxx, yyyy, zzzz, aaaa, bbbb, cccc, etc. and I dont wanna see you there."
Then I overheard him and his girlfriend fighting. He was yelling at her and asking her WHOS THAT GUY?!? And she's like "I dont know". And he's like "YOURE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME YOU BITCH!!! YOU'RE GOING WITH ANOTHER GUY BEHIND MY BACK!!!" Then she's like "I love you. I don't know what youre talking about." Then they finally broke up.
Man it was funny watching him terrorized. But at the same time though, I feel some regrets doing that. That was probably the meanest thing I did in my life.
i have no words.
I've got another.
When I was younger I used to be part of a boyscout troop that was considered on the "rough" side. On most of our trips, there was a lot of swearing and whatnot and normal activities on trips for us usually included stuff like cliff jumping, rappelling, hunting, etc. Not the normal "sit at home making keychain lanyards" kind of crap you normally think of boyscouts and cubscouts doing ( oh yeah, we took younger kids out with us to do the dumb fun kind of trouble we'd get into. ) We were a troop that never wore uniforms and rarely did a lot of the pomp and circumstance stuff.
On one trip we had two young black kids and their mother join us. Normally being black wouldn't matter to any of us since we lived in Detroit but this woman used it as an excuse to bundle her kids in enough clothes that they could hardly even move in. Things like two layers of jeans with thermal underwear, two t-shirts under a sweatshirt, with snow pants extra pairs of wool socks, down jackets two pairs of heavy gloves and headbands underneath their hats. Really, a ridiculous amount of clothing. When she was told that they were going to overheat while we were out skiing she just told us all that she knew better because black people get colder faster ( Remember kids, it's not racist if it's about your own people! ). I heard all this from the upstairs loft were I was getting my gear ready with my brother and these two kids. Looking at these two little sheep made me feel like they were so pathetically nice, obedient and all-together lost as to what else besides all their I just couldn't not help make sure they had everything they need. So I asked in the loudest voice I could manage, just to make sure their mother knew I was going to take care of her babies, "You guys make sure you remember your testicle socks?".
After the shrieking died down we finally did manage to get out on the ski trails and have a great time.
cmon guys, we all did stupid shit when we were younger.
I still remember among many things:
- soaking up a whole roll of toilet paper then throwing it in the ceiling.
- flushing the urinals repeatedly until it spilled over like what I saw in the Beavis and Butthead movie.
- drawing the hammer-and-sickle (with usual commie propaganda about US imperialism and capitalist pigs), the swastika, various gang symbols, and sex organs on the school mirrors and the doors in the bathroom. Using a bar of soap or chalk. I somehow thought of covering my ass on vandalism. You can't say its vandalism. Cuz its easily erased.
- throwing out the whole roll of toilet paper out the window. It got stuck on a tree and it ended up forming some sort of a toilet-paper-banner. A few days later, the principal lectured the entire school over that matter. And the apparent "epidemic" of mischief going on in the school. He delivered a really articulate speech about "anarchy". And was sort of like "to those responsible, you know who you are and you won't get away with this!!!"
- flushing the whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet, causing it to clog.
- throwing a whole roll of toilet paper and a bar of soap in the bathroom stall that has some dude taking a shit.
- sending annoying text messages (like how your hair is gay or how so and so has a crush on you or how a certain teacher smells like shit or something) to 50% of people in the class. I got their phone numbers through the publicly available class phone number directory. I remember doing a really good job of concealing my laughter. As the whole class pointed fingers to one another. I was asked two times and I denied involvement very easily.
Its a weird feeling I get. I still feel like laughing about my past mischief but at the same time I feel sorry for it.
I guess it was my way of lashing out on society. I was 15 or so. And I developed this I-hate-this-world attitude. Everyone is so fake and is like a carbon copy of each other. I can't fit in. Teachers are assholes. I knew that there's SOMETHING WRONG but I couldn't pinpoint what exactly is wrong.
Nevermind. It doesnt matter. I'm the devil now. 
Indeed kyupol, you are the devil…but it seems like I've done some similar pranks to you, because I also have a story about texting people…
I have a little group that I hang out with every day at lunch, and it used to include this kinda nerdy guy who wasn't really a friend of mine, but a friend of my friend's, and fun to tease. Anyways, I asked him for his phone number because I figured it could be fun to use in the future, and he gave it to me. That was easy enough. A month or two later, using my best friend's phone, we texted this guy dirty. "What are you wearing?" and "Hey lover" and that sort of thing, mostly.
We did this while sitting a few feet from him, at most. Well, he freaked out. He didn't tell anyone at first, but texted this anonymous person back, saying "Who is this?" and stuff like that. Eventually he told us, and we were like omg! How weird! And even gave him suggestions as to what he should text back…while still texting him. It's amazing he never noticed the cell phone getting passed around.
So this went on for a while, until one day at lunch he informed us that he had figured out who had done it by tracing the phone number and it was Alex…this is my best friend's name as well, so we were about to 'fess up, figuring he had gotten it right…until we realized he was pointing at ME. So I showed him that that was not, in fact, my phone number and acted very upset at him for accusing me.
One time he actually called the number, but fortunately we were not near him at the time, and got our guy friend to pick up the phone and just be like "Hey, looovvvvvveeerrrr."
I think he eventually figured it out, and he doesn't hang out with us as much any more(understandably, I suppose). Apparently the reason he accused me was because he had a crush on me, though, so I felt kind of bad about that. But otherwise it was a fun prank.
Nevermind. It doesnt matter. I'm the devil now.Fixed
Ok. I know of a funny texting prank since that is the current subject.
The high school where I attended was (at least at the time) the most advanced when it came to computer science. It had the largest number of computer classes, was the first to offer "study from home projects" (or whatever you call it in English) and was the first to offer students lap top grants. Me and some of my friends took great care in studying how the networking setup worked and learned to send each other messages between computers through command promp. These messages would appear in pop up messages like error messages. We loved teasing less computer literate students by sending them bogus error messages. One of my more memorable ones was when there was this girl sitting in front of us.
A good friend of mine send her these messages.
"Hello?"
"Can you read this?"
"I'm the elf that lives in this computer"
"You can talk to me by speaking into the CD drive"
Honest to god, the girl actually leaned down to the CD drive and whispered: Hello?
Unfortunately we were unable to carry on the joke since we lost cool by then and snickered out loud but you can trust me that the girl was plenty embarrassed.
cmon guys, we all did stupid shit when we were younger.
I guess the difference is that most people generally don't look at the horrible things they've done in the past and post them in a "Funny Things" thread. And especially for how regularly you complain about being regularly ostracized and mistreated when you were in school, it's pretty apparent now that you were quite the vindictive prick at the time, so the fact that people didn't apparently like you much doesn't surprise me.
Anyway, as for me, I don't really think the stuff in my life is all that funny. At least, not outside of a "You had to be there" vibe. Though I do have a few funny stories about relatives of mine.
Okay, so, my cousin was dating this guy, and one night they got into an argument and he punched her, which isn't funny at all. But she was taking boxing lessons at the time, which was. She goes home later with a big ugly bruise, and her step-dad (a biker, tattoo artist type) demands to know where the little bastard who did that is. She told them she didn't know, but she held up her hand and showed that she at least had a couple of his teeth, so that's a start.
My younger brother has always been a big kid, and has been in all kinds of sports since Elementary school. He even made the state finals in wrestling. However, this made him a bit of target in school, since the smaller kids would often pick fights with him just to prove how tough they were. One kid in particular was harrassing him while the teacher was away, sneaking up on him and trying to snatch his glasses. My brother just brushes him off for a while, until the kid eventually manages to grab them. Now, being a wrestler, he didn't simply know how to hurt someone, but how to hurt them without actually damaging them in any significant way. When the kid refused to give him his glasses back, he calmly picked the kid up, flipped him upside down, and dropped him flat on his back on a nearby table. My brother had his glasses back at that point.
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