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Moonlight meanderer
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So, I'll tell an embarrassing situation, and the next poster must find a good way to survive from this situation. Then he tells a new embarrassing situation, and the next poster must survive from it, and he'll tell a new one and so on. So I'll start.

You have a romantic evening with your girlfriend. She still lives with her parents, but they are visiting their relatives.

The evening is going well, and you are having a good time, until your girlfriend tells you to go to wait in her parents' bedroom, while she goes to change to something more 'comfortable'.

As you wait you take off all your clothes. When the door starts to open you think it's your girl.

You yell 'Jump to da love train baby!', before you notice that instead of your girlfriend it's her very shocked mother.

Before she recovers, you have a while to find a good explanation. What is it?

(Don't forget to make another situation to the next poster.)

Ozoneocean
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There is no clever recovery from that one that won't get you in prison. :-D
You'll have to come clean and explain like a good little boy, while hastily getting dressed at the same time.
No sex tonight :(

New Situation:

Ok, you're a delicate young lady out with her lovely new boyfriend on your first date with him: Doing your best to make a good impression. But you just happen to be having a spot of tummy troubles. You excuse yourself and rush to the lady's toilets, only to find the door locked. So you scurry off the men's.
You make it in there ok because there’s no one about. SO you sit down and start making a terrible racket off horrible bottom noises…
Right at the climax of your virtuoso gastric symphony, the door swings open by itself and there stands your boyfriend who’d been waiting to use the very same loo…
How do you smooth that one out?

Posted at

"sorry, the ladies toilet was out of order, so I had to use this one. I think I had something bad to eat earlier. by the way, could you mind staying outside? even I need some privacy, jeez!"
___

your parents have told you that they're going out of town for a few weeks, so you have the house to yourself. you have a good time by yourself, and you fall into the habit of doing whatever you want to do around the house.
one day, you turn on the radio and a really good song is on, you start doing a striptease in front of the hallway mirror to mimic what is going on in that sexy song, just for fun..
and you forgot that once in a while the next door neighor would check in on you for your parents.
and it just happened that the next door neighbor walked in on you doing that, and you're now competely naked. what's more worse, your neighbor watched you striptease without even saying anything due to being stunned.

what is your explanation to the next door person?

Posted at

((ewwww…… talk about graphic.))

There are no good explaination for this that you can think of. in fact your fundelmist Grandma dies of a heart attack. Your cousin and you swear to never talk of this again, or do that again. :shock:
———————————-

it's that dreaded time… time to meet your girlfriend/boyfriend's parents! you were trying very hard to make a good impression on them and so far it seemed to be working when you accidently just let out a loud, deafening and very deadly-smelling fart in front of your parents and your dear one. :shock:

how do you surive that? what do you do to attempt to make it less embrassing? :oops:

Ozoneocean
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"Bloody dog! Did you see that damn dog? It just came in here and disgraced itself. I'm shocked, frankly shocked… Damn dog! Excuse while I just go off to the toilet… oh… I mean to chase that dog…"

__________________________________

equinox is a genius. I can’t top that brilliant scenario. So I won’t try.

__________________________________

You have an important meeting with your boss to discuss a possible promotion and considerable pay rise. You get to his office at the appointed time of 4 PM in the afternoon all prepared and ready for the meeting, all psyched up to go… Only to have him angrily tell you that the meeting was meant to be for 10 am.

Terminal
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*making this up as you go along*

"I'm sorry, sir. I could of made it, but in a rush to get here. I accidently ran over my kid's dog. I couldn't leave him there, besides he was watching, so I had to go to the vet from 10 am to 3 pm. I'm so sorry boss. But I hope you understand, Wouldn't you done the same thing for your kid?"
______________________

Down in the neighboorhoods of Los Angeles, South Central to be exact. You're walking down the street, talking to your friend. You make some hand gestures, showing your friend a neat hand trick. A gang mistakes your hand gestures as gang signs. Five gang members walk up to you, surrounding you, hands in there pockets and shirts, ready to pull out there guns. They ask you with a deep voice as if ready to kill you, "What gang you from?"….

.: Myxomatosis :.

Posted at

Just point to your ear and strug, and do some sign langune, and say "sorry, I'm deaf… I can't hear you. what did you say?"
(good thing I'm deaf, huh?)
__________________

You were all set to have a good, exicting night of buying your dvd sets of… Teletubbies and barney!!
but of course, you don't want anybody to know that you actually like two of the most annoying and kiddish TV shows ever.. so you pretend to be down with the flu and such in case your friends have any ideas about coming over.

having thought that nobody is gonna come over, you sit down in front of your tv, pop in the dvds and are singing along with the TV shows when all of a sudden you realize your friends are here, staring at you with disbelief. and it appears that they brought over chicken soup.
that's not even the worse part. you were actually singing along with the dinsouars and dancing along, and they saw the whole thing!
what is your explaniation?

Ozoneocean
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having thought that nobody is gonna come over, you sit down in front of your tv, pop in the dvds and are singing along with the TV shows when all of a sudden you realize your friends are here, staring at you with disbelief. and it appears that they brought over chicken soup.
that's not even the worse part. you were actually singing along with the dinsouars and dancing along, and they saw the whole thing!
what is your explaniation?
You tell them you're high on cough medicine and Barney is like SO psychedelic and funny when you're out of your head man, that you just have to groove to it and sing along.

_________
Equinox, you sick, sick freak! But you've provided the perfect answer:
You look sheepish as you say "shit, can we say bad timing?"

_________

Posted at

equinox… man, that's more disgusting than embrassing.

how about we stick to embrassing moments that won't land people in jail, huh? because there's no way you can explain semen on a 4-year-old girl's face… and even if you told them the truth, they proably wouldn't believe you.

anyway, ozone's turn to detail out an embrassing moment.

Ozoneocean
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My turn. This is from a short comedy film I once saw. Aurora's scenario reminded me of it:
It’s your birthday, and no one seems to have remembered. So you want to do something special for yourself. You get home early, head straight for the fridge, strip off every shred of clothing, take out a BIG jar of peanut butter and coat your entire body with it (especially your privates). Then walk into the darkened lounge room, calling for your dog to come lick it off you. Only to find a sudden burst of light and a yell of “SURPRISE” as all your festively dressed friends, family, and workmates look at you with expressions of horror and dismay.

How do you get out of this surprise birthday party gone wrong?

Mimarin
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No, somebody must attempt to recover from Equinox's situation as it is just so incredibly impossible.

Ozoneocean
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I had an attempt at it and I also addressed Aurora's, which he ignored. We've moved on. Don't ruin the game. :x
–You just want someone to answer so you can use it as an excuse to get away with this next time you look after your young cousins, you sicko! :?

Posted at

My turn. This is from a short comedy film I once saw. Aurora's scenario reminded me of it:
It’s your birthday, and no one seems to have remembered. So you want to do something special for yourself. You get home early, head straight for the fridge, strip off every shred of clothing, take out a BIG jar of peanut butter and coat your entire body with it (especially your privates). Then walk into the darkened lounge room, calling for your dog to come lick it off you. Only to find a sudden burst of light and a yell of “SURPRISE” as all your festively dressed friends, family, and workmates look at you with expressions of horror and dismay.

How do you get out of this surprise birthday party gone wrong?

"errr, I was looking for my boyfriend, who just concidently happens to have the same name as my dog?" :shock: :oops:

((seriously, who would use thier dog for THAT? that's justt so sick. :S
but hey, as long as the pets aren't that tramatized… I guess it's okay.))
______________________________

You just got nicely dressed for the prom, or whatever other social event you were going to.
you strut about, feeling good about yourself. everyone seems to be staring at you, and you feel that it's just because you're so damn sexy!
it's then somebody hot approches you, and tells you flat out that your whole bottom is revealed, with your back skirt tucked into your underwear.
(hole in the pants for the males).

how do you recover from this embrassing moment?

Mimarin
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well clearly.

So you are covered in peanut butter standing naked in a room full of your friends and loved ones, one of your collegues exclaims "Dear god! why are you covered in peanut butter?" you explain how after a checkup with your doctor you were informed you had contracted a mild skin condition. You say how he told you that although the condition would go away in a week or so it would cause uncomfortable itching in the mean time, he recomended you smear yourself with peanut butter, you then sadly inform your guests that they have to leave and that you will be back to work this time next week.

Bingo everyone takes pitty on you, everyone goes and you get a week off work.

god damn people posting before me.
—————————————-

you are driving your car, delivering a small delivery of hardcore gay midget porn for a friend of yours who owns a specialist porn emporioum you are attempting to drink a cup of seathing hot coffee. Suddenly bird flies across the road and startles you, you swerve all over the road, a police car behind you notices your erratic behaviour and signals you to pull over, in your haste to respond you spill your bioling hot coffee into your groin area. Screaming in agony you attempt to remove your soaking wet, bilong hot pants to halt the pain, you are partially sucessful but due to your lack of attention you crash into a nearby sign post, when you come to you see a rescue crew standing over you, the roof of the car has been removed. Unfortunatley for you several cartons of the hugly dubious pornography have exploded and litter the interior of your car as well as parts of the road.
So there you are sitting with your pants around your ankles with several tons of really diabolical porn all over the place.

What do you tell: The police, The rescue crew, Your family who saw it on the local news, The prosecution while on trial for not driving with due care and attention.

Posted at

well clearly.

So you are covered in peanut butter standing naked in a room full of your friends and loved ones, one of your collegues exclaims "Dear god! why are you covered in peanut butter?" you explain how after a checkup with your doctor you were informed you had contracted a mild skin condition. You say how he told you that although the condition would go away in a week or so it would cause uncomfortable itching in the mean time, he recomended you smear yourself with peanut butter, you then sadly inform your guests that they have to leave and that you will be back to work this time next week.

Bingo everyone takes pitty on you, everyone goes and you get a week off work.

god damn people posting before me.

ooh, good one.

Ozoneocean
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Oh shit! Such a popular thread ^^

OK For Aurora:
(good one BTW Mimarin)

You look behind yourself at your dress all hiked up, look at the person who informed you (with a huge grin on your face), and thank them graciously and loudly. Now that you’re the centre of attention in the whole room you start dancing and swaying. You whip of the rest of your gown in one graceful movement and continue dancing in your underwear. The lights dim in the room and a spotlight lights you up. The music swells. You stand still with your arms stretched out to either side and a group of handsome men in matching tuxedos rush up and drape in a beautiful feather cape and headdress. The lights start to sparkle around you and you begin an elaborate dance routine, while singing “All that jazz” from the hit musical Chicago. Your tuxedo clad entourage sing the chorus while performing a brilliant tap-dance…
You end the show by reaching out to your boyfriend and having him join you in the final routine. The lights dim with him holding you in a classic Hollywood embrace while you pose for a long kiss.
Ta-DA!

___________
WELL Mimarin, you could simply tell the truth… but that would be too easy. FAR too easy!

Instead of telling the truth you make up an elaborate story… “WELL y’ronna, I was on the way to help out a sick friend, when I noticed a beautiful rare bird flying past my car. I was so enthralled by the site of it that I couldn’t dodge when a ravening mad, heavily muscled dwarf in a studded black leather bondage harness and gimp mask hurled a huge carton of revolting porn through my car window. I didn’t know what to do. SO in a state of utter panic and shear terror of the revolting pornographic material that had invaded my car, I instinctively tried to strip of my clothes to shed myself of this awful situation. I threw the cup of scalding hot coffee over my penis and testicles in an attempt to purify myself and ward the evil effects of that VILEST OF VILE porn. And in doing so I failed to regain control of the vehicle and this caused me to crash and further injure myself.”
___________
MY SITUATION:

You step in dog poo and walk it into class. You don't realise you did it untill soemone sees the shitty tracks that go all the way to your chair and loudly points out that YOU are the one the stink is coming from.

EXTRICATE YOURSELF FROM IT WHILE RETAINING YOUR HONOUR!

Terminal
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Look down on your shoe and say: "Oh shit, I stepped in dog shit." then calmly say, "it must have been when I took (insert pointer outter's name here) mother out."

_____________________

You break your back trying to lick your penis, you can't move since your stuck, so your head is between your legs (you're curled up). The pain is immense. You are in absolute hell. Suddenly, your girlfriend/wife/parents walk in, "What the HELL are you doing?" they ask..

.: Myxomatosis :.

Posted at

"I was doing situps and then I suddenly had an idea to see if I could be more flexable about it so that I could get in shape faster… but it was a bad idea, I broke my back and can't move! can you please help me? and oh, don't mind my penis, it popped out of my pants for some strange reason."
_______________

you found a bag of jerky on the counter. you love jerky, and plus you're really hungry… so you start eating it by the bagful.. when your parents and friends comes in… and your parent yell loud enough for the whole neighborood to hear: "What are you doing?! that's doggie treats for the dog, not a bag of jerky!"

and you look at the label, and sure enough it says doggie treats. what do you do next?

Terminal
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Ah, an easy one. Not to mention, it's happened before. :?

"For doggy treats, they taste surprisngly well. I was just ensuring the quality of what we feed the dog. They are pretty good you know. Anyways, I was hungry."

__________________

Your boyfriend (or vice versa) breaks up with you after cheating on you with your best friend, he blamed the break up on because you were cheating with his best friend, which never happened. He tells everyone you know that you're a whore and puts your life through hell. To get revenge, you take a golf club and go to his black VW Jetta, his most prized possession. After giving the car a beating (breaking all the windows, cutting the tires, destroying the wiring inside, breaking the radio. etc) with the club. A guy comes up to you. Pissed off he goes "What the FUCK are you doing to my car?!?"

..You suddenly realized that there were two black Jetta parked next to each other, your boyfriend's car was the other one.

.: Myxomatosis :.

Posted at

"hey, don't get angry at me. the guy who owns the other car paid me to do this. said he had an extra car he didn't need… I guess he lied and just wanted to be an asshole to the next person who owned an exact black jetta like him. if you like, I can give you his picture, his name and his address so you can go beat him up for being an asshole enough to pay an random girl who he doesn't even know to beat up some stranger's car?"
______________________________

one day, you were really, really bored…. and there was competely nothing to do at all! so to take the edge of boredom off, you dedice to download some of the most nastiest, the most disgusting porn you could find on the net so that you could watch it and make fun of it Mystery theratre 2000 style.

it all downloads pretty fast. and you were watching it all on your comptuer full screen, when your girlfriend/parents/buddies/random stranger walks into the room. in your haste to try to exit out the porn, you just turned up the speakers even louder, so that the room was full of disgusting sounds and people crying out from porn. and they saw what was on your comptuer.

what is your explanation?

Ozoneocean
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Posted at

(Brilliant answer to the car thing Aurora!)

Ok, my answer:
"It's a virus. I thought I was downloading the full TV series of The Power Rangers, but when I clicked to open the zip file the virus revealed itself and started downloading this HORRIBLE STUFF! I'm trying to get rid of it but it won't stop! Fuck it, I'm just gonna turn off the computer…
What's that? NO! No you cannot help me with it, I said I'M TURNING OFF THE COMPUTER! I will fix it later BY MYSELF. Trust me. I'm pretty expert at dealing with viruses when I'm not quite so flustered. So let’s just leave the room and forget this nasty episode ever happened ok? And DO NOT touch the computer until I've "fixed" it, or the porn virus will infect you. Yeah, it can do that, it's special."

______________________

Ok, I liked Aurora's scenario so much I'm going to use it myself.
Get out of this without using my explanation:

One day, you were really, really bored… And there was absolutely nothing to do at all! So to take the edge off boredom you decide to download some of the most nastiest, most disgusting porn you could find on the net: so that you could watch it and make fun of it Mystery theatre 2000 style.

It all downloads pretty fast and you were watching it all on your computer full screen, when your parents walk into the room! In your haste to try to exit out off the porn, you just turn up the speakers even louder, so that the room is full of disgusting sounds and people crying out from porn.
And they saw what was on your computer. :shock:

Posted at

"Damnit!! Seems like my damn brother decided to play a little joke on me and replace all of my Anime files with porn files when he was visiting me! :x you know how he's the one who likes all that disgusting stuff. after all, remember when you found all the hidden tapes he used to have in his youth? No, no… don't deal with him. I can do that myself. in fact, the next time I visit him I'll just teach him a little lesson in courtesy. just leave the punishment up to me."

(always classic to blame your siblings! :twisted: )
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

edit:
you were swimming on a beach one day, you came across an girl who got stung by an jellyfish in the water.. you drag her back to shore, but you fell over and now she's on top of you, shaking violently from an allergic reaction to the jellyfish. unfortunately it looks like she's making out with you… and your girlfriend just happened to came across you in an situation that looked very indecent.

what is your explanation?

Posted at

*ahem*

Mimarin
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Posted at

"this girl was stung to crap by jellyfish, i just draged her out of the water, i was about to pee on her when she started spazzing out, look you can see the sting marks. If you don't believe me then I'm dumping you right now, as i don't want to be with someone so unduly suspicious"

the situation dosent work if you have nothing to hide.
___________

You are a fucking lunatic, you enjoy exposing yourself to young women in the public park, one day you are waiting in a bush for your prey to walk past, you hear the tell tale clipclop of high heels coming so you remove your clothes and jump out of the bush with your erect penis waggling in the air and shout "Wahaha!" only to find that the woman you ambushed is in fact your mother.

Posted at

"huh? who is this (intsert name) you speak of? no I'm afraid you've confused me for somebody else…. possibly I'm just some crazed doppler… nature does tend to produce twins that are competely unrelated to each other once in a while. well, I must be off, cheerio~!"

—————————

one day you suddenly feel in the mood to dance, and do it badly for no good reason. and you aren't even doing it to music at all.
so you just do it in the house where you thought you were competely alone… and you start singing nonsense, just to add on to the fun.
and you're busting out really corny moves, when you turn around to see your best friend/girlfriend/whoever else staring at you.
what do you do?

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Moonlight meanderer

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