It's ok ma'am, I'm a professional.

Time for another fun-filled newspost! Since "guys and guy-ettes" sounded a bit chauvanistic toward women last time, here's something chauvanistic toward men to even things out: Hello goddesses and useless meat-sacks!

Does that make me a modern "woman of today" now that I can freely insult men? I feel empowered, someone get me some PMS chocolate, quickly!

Old Newsposts!
If you want to read old newsposts, they are kept in the Main Page/Newspost Discussion Forum. They are listed by title and posted date. If you don't visit Drunk Duck for a few days, you may want to check there to see if you missed anything. Heaven forbid you should miss a word I say. Especially you useless meat-sacks, you heard me.

More Forums stuff!
In case you forum-goers have missed it, there is a rules thread that you should read. There is nothing too surprising in there (or at least, I hope not), but I do want to mention that starting March 1st, the forum admins will start cracking down on avatar and signature sizes. I had helpful pictures but they messed up the screen arrangement.
Avatars: 100x100 pixels, 35kb
Signatures: 480x60 pixels, 70kb

So please change your stuff if it's too big. Please note that the signature size is somewhat flexible, but not too much. If you plan to have two images, try to keep them within that size, total. You can have a taller one if it isn't as wide, but the idea is to not take up too much screen space, and not to kill our forum's loading times. Text is set at, I think, 255 characters, which is a forum default. And then she said, "Oh yeah, well I think you're a forum default!" And it was over, just like that. I never looked back.

Chat!
Did you know DD has a chat room? And you can go there and chat! (Amazing!) Assuming you know IRC voodoo, here is the connection info:
#drunkduck
irc.severed.org
6667

Comic Announcement!
Hay everybody, the comic Try Everything Once, will officially be one year old this Sunday. Coincidentally, it will also kick off TEO's enormous guest-art invitational, the 28th Annual Pan-Cosmic Battle of the Bands, on the same day. This comic wants to teach the world of webcomics how to rock again so perhaps if you feel your rock is lacking, you should stop by.

Comic Reviews!
The current comic up for review is Elijah and Azuu, and you can read/contribute reviews in this thread.

Other comics come up for review during the week too, so make sure you check the Comic Review forum regularly if you don't want to miss any.

Also, here is a comic I made for you!