Thread "Another Space Battleship post... how would you fight one?" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 6:04PM, Apr. 21, 2011

A while ago I posted something like this… don't quite remember if it was how to fight one or what would you do if one were to show up to destroy your city… oh, well… As for an example…

Youtube: R-Type Final-Battleship Raid

Now you're in charge of defending the Earth and you've recieved news that one is coming. What would you use to fight one off? What configurations do you hope never to see one in? How would you counter its weaponry and other abilities?

I remember having a conversation with Ozone about this. I remember him mentioning that the thing would be near impossible to defeat since it would be armored all the way around and would be very hard to crack…

That unfortunately is mostly true. If the battleship was like the one in the video I linked, you could take one on by hitting its weak points… external propulsion systems, weapon ports, fighter bays (if it has one). But what if it was an egg shaped armored ship with gravity control systems instead of thrusters?

I can see weaknesses in a ship like this though. If the weapons were externally mounted it would be a simple matter of shooting them off. If it had an internally mounted megalaser and you had the right amount of timing you could probably fire a few missiles into that thing before it does. As for lasers being impossible to dodge, I say it's still possible. Lasers may be impossible to dodge, but you need a very quick tracking system that can accurately predict where that fighter/fast ship is going in order to hit it. And blanket firing would be a waste of energy (and it would take a lot of energy to hold up a heavily armored battleship near the planets surface anyway).

Okay. I think I've typed enough. I hope you all find this an entertaining post and make it more entertaining as well. :)

Posted at 7:04PM, Apr. 21, 2011

its at times like this, I wish I remembered more from Star Wars and played more Video Games.

Posted at 12:04AM, Apr. 22, 2011

Hang out white flags everywhere and have marching bands spell out "WELCOME BATTLESHIP" and offer them a "welcome to Earth" parade.

Try to convince them that we're their willing slaves (throw lots of nubile girls at them) until they get comfy. Of course the aliens will be humanoid; they always are in these scenarios or if not always interested in nubile earth females.

Once the crew is off the ship enjoying liberty we put a small team on board the ship and place explosives. Meanwhile we capture and kill the crew and if senior officers are off ship kidnap them and interrogate them to find out how to fight the bloody thing.

As the Special Boat Squadron motto says: By strength and by guile.

And the Special Air Service motto says: Who dares, wins.

Along with the Navy SEALs that's what those guys exist to do.

If that doesn't work we find an old World War II battleship and rebuild it as a super earth dreadnought. Space Cruisers Missouri, Iowa & New Jersey!

Posted at 3:04AM, Apr. 22, 2011

firstly, we take the smartest kids from all over the world…and then we begin to train them…and then we…oh wait, wrong scenario.

Posted at 5:04AM, Apr. 22, 2011

Try to convince them that we're their willing slaves (throw lots of nubile girls at them) until they get comfy. Of course the aliens will be humanoid; they always are in these scenarios or if not always interested in nubile earth females.

Oh you misogynist pig!

Actually, that sounds like that bible passage that aniti-gay people always quote. And I know you're going with a Starblazers/space battleship Yamato thing there, but that's exactly the plot (pretty much) of this horrible 80s American SciFi book I once saw in a second hand bookshop, except they made the Texas into a spaceship.

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It's funny how the "battleships" in those games are always beaten by one single little fighter with massive weaponry. I mean- it's not at all illogical that (with constant power-ups) these massive battleships are always out-gunned by a single flea sized spec…
Sort of like the crazy logic in animes that makes the nose-bleeding dork who has a problem with the very existence of an opposite sex irresistibly attractive to them.

So if the invaders worked on game logic we should send Arnold Schwarzenegger after them- dressed like Duke Nukeum.

Posted at 9:04AM, Apr. 22, 2011

I prefer the "Tyler Vernon Method." Take an asteroid, blow it up like a balloon until you have a nine kilometer wide sphere with kilometer thick walls. Install firing ports for missiles and a 70 petawatt solar pumped laser and ta-da, something that can take a beating and still get the job done, without any fancy-shmancy shields.(If you have not read Live Free or Die and Citadel, both by John Ringo, then you might want to take a look) Just for reference 70 petawatts is somewhere in between the energy released by the first and second atomic bombs to be dropped every second, or a "little" more than the power consumption of 1,000,000,000,000 60-watt light-bulbs.

…If that doesn't work we find an old World War II battleship and rebuild it as a super earth dreadnought. Space Cruisers Missouri, Iowa & New Jersey!

Heck, let's throw the Alabama in there for good measure (AKA the Lucky A, no casualties due to enemy fire)

Posted at 4:04PM, Apr. 22, 2011

It's funny how the "battleships" in those games are always beaten by one single little fighter with massive weaponry. I mean- it's not at all illogical that (with constant power-ups) these massive battleships are always out-gunned by a single flea sized spec…
Sort of like the crazy logic in animes that makes the nose-bleeding dork who has a problem with the very existence of an opposite sex irresistibly attractive to them.

So if the invaders worked on game logic we should send Arnold Schwarzenegger after them- dressed like Duke Nukeum.

Heh… true enough. I guess when game makers design these things they want to first intimidate the player, then give the player some sense of superiority that they were able to pull it off. Or something like that.

What about an actual space battleship? One that doesn't have the weaknesses of the traditional ocean going battleship (no deck to shoot at, not subject to gravity due to its propulsion system, etc…). Probably the only thing to do would be to somehow shoot mountain sized asteroids at it before it enters Earth's atmosphere, I think…