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Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because your niece … could be very dangerous. And this button-down, plaid-skirt psycho might just snap, and then stalk from homeroom to homeroom with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into fellow students and teachers…

Or maybe you shouldn't worry about every little thing that happens in her love life.