And there goes my victory…WOOOSH…down the toilet.
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Mafia II: The Expanded Edition
well yes it is rather intelligent looking…I'm still gonna have to say vote waff though cos if townston is ravaged by the mafia I want it to be my fault and no-one elses.In the last game a campaign poster got you a +1 on you total votes
Waff, if I relied on posters rather than my rhetoric and my analytic skills, would I truly be a suitable mayor?
No: if I am to be elected, I want to be elected on the strength of my personality, my goodwill, my intellect, my ravishing beauty, and my fantastic moustaches, one of which you are wearing right now.
I've always found mustaches on women to be a bit… well… unnatural.
In fact, considering I just shaved my goatee in real life a few days ago, I think my avatar could do without looking like a 1050's villain who ties women to train tracks. After all, I'm not here to bring you more of the same.
I'm here to get things done, and bring you the one thing you want. Not food, not mechs, not whatever. Victory. And of course, scorched earth and the smoldering bodies of the guilty.
I've always found mustaches on women to be a bit… well… unnatural.wont scorched earth mean we can't grow crops and therefore starve?
In fact, considering I just shaved my goatee in real life a few days ago, I think my avatar could do without looking like a 1050's villain who ties women to train tracks. After all, I'm not here to bring you more of the same.
I'm here to get things done, and bring you the one thing you want. Not food, not mechs, not whatever. Victory. And of course, scorched earth and the smoldering bodies of the guilty.
Ok for additional speedy contact, I have set up an IRC channel for the game. So if you want to join (not official btw) get yourself an IRC client point it to irc.freenode.net and join #dd-mafia! (minus the ! of course) My computer never shuts off and I never shut my client down, so it's another good place for people to get in touch with me at.
I've always found mustaches on women to be a bit… well… unnatural.
Hakoshen - Sexist Mayor '09? I say nay! Were I perhaps a plane or a box with legs, it seems your opinion would differ, but you dislike my fantastic moustache merely due to my gender!?
I'm here to get things done, and bring you the one thing you want. Not food, not mechs, not whatever. Victory. And of course, scorched earth and the smoldering bodies of the guilty.
Not only will the land be useless, the trophies obtained from the bodies will be scorched and smell terrible if this plan is followed. The land should be fertile for the next owner - an innocent townie! Since the Mafia is awful for the town's appeal, the absence of Mafia plus an abundance of fertile land can only mean good things for this town.
hey I'm not a box with legs If you look closley at the top you'll see a stick figure in a paper bag hat.since I can't draw people, thats me. The 'box with legs' as you call it is my box-mecha!.I've always found mustaches on women to be a bit… well… unnatural.
Hakoshen - Sexist Mayor '09? I say nay! Were I perhaps a plane or a box with legs, it seems your opinion would differ, but you dislike my fantastic moustache merely due to my gender!?I'm here to get things done, and bring you the one thing you want. Not food, not mechs, not whatever. Victory. And of course, scorched earth and the smoldering bodies of the guilty.
Not only will the land be useless, the trophies obtained from the bodies will be scorched and smell terrible if this plan is followed. The land should be fertile for the next owner - an innocent townie! Since the Mafia is awful for the town's appeal, the absence of Mafia plus an abundance of fertile land can only mean good things for this town.
-edit-
look at the top…see?
I can't believe I voted for you.
hey I'm not a box with legs If you look closley at the top you'll see a stick figure in a paper bag hat.since I can't draw people, thats me. The 'box with legs' as you call it is my box-mecha!.
I was in fact referring to Boxxy Leggs, my beloved sidekick, who sports an equally impressive moustache.
I appreciate all help from the mecha-riding hobo demographic. Indeed, this is one of my favorite demographics.
What I mean is, we wont ravage the whole town. We wont even ravage half. There are but four mafia amongst all 20 of us. There's no need to burn down the whole forest to catch one rat so to speak. No no. When we find the mafia, we're going to scorch their earth, not ours. And do not confuse scorching the earth with salting it. The land will still be quite salvageable, if not for fertile for the cleared underbrush.
And sexist? Why whatever gave you that idea? I never said I disliked your mustache. I said I found them somewhat unnatural. But don't we find unnatural things beautiful? Is not the Statue of David a work of man, not nature, and a yes work of art and incomparable beauty? Was the Mona Lisa painted by the wind and rain? No! Yet isn't it lovely?
And why, I ask, would you want to salvage the ill gotten gains of the mafia? All marks of their greed and opulence should burn with them.
There is no need to grasp at straws and see phantoms where there are none. When I am done, there will be a new day, one where you and your friends, family and facial hair can all live as you so deserve; without the hand of the mafia at your back, nor the testaments to their wicked ways.
VOTE FOR ME!
Here are just a few more reasons why-
1) I'm freakin awesome! To the xtreme!
2) I spell "extreme" with only two e's!
3) I end all my sentences with exclamation marks!
4) I have a cool English accent that American chicks think is hot!
5) Damn it, how many more reasons do you people need? What am I? Your dancing monkey? Well I've got a dance for you! Its called the "screw you all and the horse you rode in on Tango". Its got a catchy beat and you'll all be strutting too it in a couple of minutes! I don't need your approval! I don't need anything from you ingrates! I built this town! That's right! ME! Without me, you would be NOTHING! Nothing but maggots crawling in the filth of your own ignorance! Sometimes I want to just put a match to this God forsaken hell hole of a town just so I can watch it burn! BURN!
I hate you all….I hate you all so much…..
6) I take it to the MAX!
7) I've got folksy wisdom and good old fashioned values!
8) I'm down with da kids!
So there you go, VOTE HARKOVAST FOR MAYOR OF TOWNSTON!
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND THE COMPETITION…..IS VAST!
oh…well I'm sorry I got the wrong end of the stick and I didn't know I was demographic…well good night.hey I'm not a box with legs If you look closley at the top you'll see a stick figure in a paper bag hat.since I can't draw people, thats me. The 'box with legs' as you call it is my box-mecha!.
I was in fact referring to Boxxy Leggs, my beloved sidekick, who sports an equally impressive moustache.
I appreciate all help from the mecha-riding hobo demographic. Indeed, this is one of my favorite demographics.
As Mayor, I would not tolerate any sexism, racism, religious intolerance, xenophobia, Homophobia, peanut allergy, cripple punching, sheep mocking or any other prejudicial behaviour.
Because I believe, at the end of the day all people are the same…..
Dead.
Hanging from the end of a rope.
Because I lynched them.
Vote Harkovast!
And sexist? Why whatever gave you that idea? I never said I disliked your mustache. I said I found them somewhat unnatural. But don't we find unnatural things beautiful? Is not the Statue of David a work of man, not nature, and a yes work of art and incomparable beauty? Was the Mona Lisa painted by the wind and rain? No! Yet isn't it lovely?
Your glistening prose does not alter the fact that you claimed feminine moustaches are "unnatural." You may strive to change the semantic meaning of "unnatural," to give it better connotations, but the fact that you initially used it as a blow against my campaign bespeaks your TRUE feelings!
I notice that you remove your own facial hair, and yet you speak as though facial hair is to be protected. Hmmmm…
If quantity of facial hair is how we pic a mayor, then that is yet another reason to vote for me!
Check out that avatar! Solid hair all over the face (even hairy ears!)
There are even whiskers!
Look on its unshaven glory and give thanks to the VAST!
VOTE HARKOVAST!
Because if I do win and you didn't vote for me, I'll make you suffer! :-)
so your saying we should ravage the landscape on one side of town then move to the other? dude bad enviromental policy.Oh crap I'm doing a 2ndrbwont scorched earth mean we can't grow crops and therefore starve?
Only on their side of town.
What the hell does that even mean?
In all the madness, I forgot to cast my vote.
I vote for myself, of course.
Be a good citizen, and don't vote based on looks. Vote based on purpose. Vote based on duty. As a sociologist and a soldier, I understand people, and I understand war.
I regret to say this, but look what our blind peace has gotten us. Another head of the hydra that is the mafia, growing again in our own back yard. And what good will trophies and hubris be when we're all dead at the hands of some drug peddlers and loan sharks?
Cast a vote for the one who you know will bring you victory! For then, you can have your mechs, your mustaches, and of course, your sense of well being at a job well done.
Wait? I get a vote?
What kind of idiot let someone like me have a vote?
Don't they realise I'd just vote for an extremist party?
This is why democracy doesn't work folks!
Don't worry though, once I am mayor, democracy will be one of the first things I make illegal!
I VOTE FOR HARKOVAST!
(See? told you I would vote for a crazy extremist!)
VOTE HARKOVAST!
Because Hakoshen copies my name and Dukat copies my avatar!
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