I work at Raley's, a supermarket chain that runs through California and Las Vegas. I've been promoted from a bagger to a checker, which is a huge leap in position and pay. It's fun to be able to do something new after two years to get me out of my depression, and it's easy to say I love my job…
However, if I say "I love my job" I'm actually saying "I love my job… more than my old one." I knew there would be more hard work and responcibility as a checker, and I've handled it so far. The huge downside is that now I'm staring directly in the face of human stupidity. And it's a hideous face that I can barely describe in words.
So, if there's the remote chance you just so happen to come into my line, here's some tips:
-You could ignore me as a bagger, but you won't ignore me as a checker. Trust me, you won't.
-I don't know all the prices for every item, and I don't know every piece of fruit in produce. Don't get mad at ME if the computer rings up the wrong price (I do try to keep an eye on what's on sale every week, so it's not like I don't care), and don't treat me like a retard if I ask you what something is. Example: "May I ask you what this is?" "That's anise." "Okay, thank you. *picks up a bag of kiwi* ^^" "And that's a kiwi." "@@ *picks up a pineapple*" "And that's a pineapple." ">< %$#$#^#$%&)*%!!!!!!"
-And for God's sake, if you pay me in cash hand it to me. Don't set it on the counter. If you do that, I'm assuming you're still counting your money. Plus, I don't have long nails and the hardest things for me to pick up on flat surfaces are coins.
-And for the love of all things sacred, don't give me your bills wadded up! Unfold them so I can see what they are and put them in the till correctly. Plus, it confirms you're not ripping me off.
-Speak English! I'm not being racist, I just don't remember how to speak Spanish, and I can't really help you if you speak anything other than English! I don't know how else to clarify to push the green okay button when you're repeatedly pushing the red cancel button and making me want to shove a dictionary down your fucking throat.
-Keep an eye on those little monsters you call your children! Those little shits try to steal money from my till any chance they get! They also steal gum and candy, and whine when they can't get it legally. They also cry really loud, and some of them find it funny to kick, bite, spit on, grab, bribe, grope, and slap me. Let me put it to you this way, keep them on your side of the checkstand, and I won't eat them alive.
-GET OFF YOUR GODDAMN CELL PHONE!
-Turn off your iPod while you're at it!
-Finally, if it turns out you have a few bags and don't need your cart, DON'T LEAVE YOUR CART AT MY CHECKSTAND! Put it back with the other carts! That way we don't have a huge fucking mess and give my baggers carpel tunnel juggling at least three carts when the next customers come up.
-Don't. Fucking. Cut. It's rude to everyone. Life may be short, but it's not THAT short!
-After you've handed me your money, and I've opened the drawer to give you change, the last thing I wanna hear is "Oh, I've got # amount of change…" WHAT GIVES YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT TO BRING THAT UP THEN AND THERE! If you pull that one on me, I'm going to assume you're trying to scam me, since I'm not a human calculator. And I'm going to be very angry if I've been scammed AGAIN!
-I've stressed to not put your money on the counter… well, don't put it on the conveyer belt either! It'll eat your money if it travels down far enough! You might as well set it on fire!
-Okay, if you've changed your mind on buying an item, fine. Happens all the time. But throughout the order, if you're going to say "oh, I don't want that… I don't want that either… I'm not sure, no I don't want it…" Because you're wasting everyone's time. And if you're going to pull that shit on me DON'T DO IT WHEN THERE'S FIFTY PEOPLE BEHIND YOU! Because then you're on everyone's lynch list, and I'll be the one in front with the fucking torch! Okay? …Okay. …Seriously, okay?
-Stop the music and listen: It's not my fault if I'm slow. I'm only as fast as my bagger or customer. If my bagger is chatting it up with someone behind her, is it my fault? If you're paying two hundred dollars worth of grocheries in ones, is it my fault? If I'm waiting for my manager to come up to the register to do his manager duties and he's ignoring me, is it my fault? No. So, have a little fucking patience.
-Is it so much to ask to tell me you have WIC* items before I start ringing up your order? You'd think the WIC people would have drilled that in your heads by now…
-Last but not least, I do not want to experience this scenario again: *customer pays with her debit card, and she's just about done, save for one last action* "Me: Push the green button please." "Customer: *hits the red button*" "Me: >< no, no. You've just canceled your whole payment." "Customer: *hits the red button*" "Me: >< No, no, stop. Slide your card again." *the process repeats* "Me: Okay, now push the green button" "Customer: *hits the red button*" "Me: You did it again. Slide your card, please." "Customer: *hits the red button*" "Me: Slide your card again PLEASE!" *the process repeats* "Me: Okay, now push the green…" "Customer: *hits the red button*" "Me: >< GREEN! GREEN! VERDE!" "Customer: >< I am!" "Me: $#$R^*&Y^RT^Y^%T &IU TIUTGY N Y^T &N OI< G LI&B &I!!!!!!!!!!"
*WIC = Woman, Infants and Children. A goverment initiative for low wage families to afford food for pregnant mothers and/or small children. The customers are given checks every year with specific dates to use them and specific things to buy. While it's a great program, it's a hair-pulling abomination when used by newbies or by theiving morons trying to get "free food."
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Comic Talk and General Discussion *
Need to vent about work (some strong language)
i used to work in a convience store and can totally relate to this. you do end up seeing the worlds dumbest people when you work retail. one time there was a sale where if you bought 3 items 2 of them were free. the register would add the price for 1 if you scanned it. it would add the price for 2 if you scanned a second one and it would add the price for the third and then subtracted the price of 2 of them if you scanned a third one. the net result is you paid for 1 of them unless you were a dumbass and couldn't add and subtract. there were so many people claiming to be over charged on this sale that i told all my cashieers to ring these items up seperatly so people saw the final total for these items only. no more problems after that.
WIC and food stamp people ended up trading their WIC and food stamps for cash in the parking lot so they could buy 40s.
It's ok when people just rant in the one thread though. If people all post more rants in here it could be fun! :)
I agree that MORE rant threads would be a drag.
The thing that gets me now though are all the "?" threads… SO many "Do you?", "Have you ever?" "What is?". Overload o_O
It's ok when people just rant in the one thread though. If people all post more rants in here it could be fun! :)
I agree that MORE rant threads would be a drag.
The thing that gets me now though are all the "?" threads… SO many "Do you?", "Have you ever?" "What is?". Overload o_O
So Do you?
i created a topic just to rant, hopefully this will decrease one topic rants
http://www.drunkduck.com/community/view_topic.php?tid=33461&cid=226
This rant was very by the book and unfunny. I just wished there was more anger to it. I give it a 2 out of 5 for having some outragous comments (speak English for one) and for making judgments about people talking on cell phones.
If you're in my line at the store, I'll spit water in your face and discuss how Star Wars was stupid.
-Speak English! I'm not being racist, I just don't remember how to speak Spanish, and I can't really help you if you speak anything other than English!I don't think this is racist. Personally, I have a very literalistic definition of racism, which is that one believes that the color of one's skin determines one's place in society. Speaking a different language has nothing to do with race.
Personally, I get annoyed when people accuse other people of racism over stuff that has nothing to do with race. Somehow, spoken language and country of origin has gotten wrapped up in the whole concept of race, which I find bizarre. For example, if I say something about imported products from China, such as toys that have lead paint, I'm not bashing the Chinese race. A nation of origin is not a race, nor is the spoken language.
On the other hand, your comment might be construed as being xenophobic, which is the fear or intollerance of other cultures, and that's almost as bad as racism. However, I don't think your rant is xenophobic, so I'm only mentioning it as a matter of distinction. I know I've been in uncomfortable situations of people who speak other languages around me, even though I can't understand them. We're so used to ease of communication. It's kind of a rough speed bump to hit when we suddenly can't.
It doesn't really bother me when people speak another language, unless they actually intend to communicate with me. I mean, society in America is becoming increasingly bilingual, but we're nowhere near that state yet. In the present, it is kind of bizarre when people try talking in Spanish in a largely English-speaking community. Seriously, sometimes it's like, "Why would you think I know Spanish?".
Otherwise, if they want to talk to each other in a different language, it's no skin off my back. They might even be talking about me. Wouldn't be the first time. To me, it's no different than people who whisper to each other or talk behind my back. Whatever. Doesn't bother me. They're entitled to their private conversation.
Although, if you really want revenge, all you have to do is smile knowingly as they talk to each other in Spanish, as if you know EXACTLY what they're talking about. Kind of fun to watch them clam up, actually.
i wish people wouldn't rant here…Oh, my bad. Forgive the newbie. I'll remember that in the future, cause after tonight I've got a couple more.
i know it says it in the description, but that was before we had our own private forums.
it's just gonna cause more ranting topics that will take over gen discuss
This is a great rant. You should make a comic out of it. Then every frustration you have will be material for creativity, and it won't be so bad.Hmm…
This rant was very by the book and unfunny. I just wished there was more anger to it. I give it a 2 out of 5 for having some outragous comments (speak English for one) and for making judgments about people talking on cell phones.Sheesh, watch some Kid From Brooklyn if you want a funnier and angrier rant. Wow… constructive criticsm on a rant… remind me to pay for two hundred dollars in groceries in quarters next time I come through your line, THEN you can spit water in my face and tell me how much Attack of the Clones sucked…
If you're in my line at the store, I'll spit water in your face and discuss how Star Wars was stupid.
On the other hand, your comment might be construed as being xenophobic, which is the fear or intollerance of other cultures, and that's almost as bad as racism. However, I don't think your rant is xenophobic, so I'm only mentioning it as a matter of distinction. I know I've been in uncomfortable situations of people who speak other languages around me, even though I can't understand them. We're so used to ease of communication. It's kind of a rough speed bump to hit when we suddenly can't.
It doesn't really bother me when people speak another language, unless they actually intend to communicate with me. I mean, society in America is becoming increasingly bilingual, but we're nowhere near that state yet. In the present, it is kind of bizarre when people try talking in Spanish in a largely English-speaking community. Seriously, sometimes it's like, "Why would you think I know Spanish?".
Otherwise, if they want to talk to each other in a different language, it's no skin off my back. They might even be talking about me. Wouldn't be the first time. To me, it's no different than people who whisper to each other or talk behind my back. Whatever. Doesn't bother me. They're entitled to their private conversation.
I am the exact opposite of xenophobic… er, that is to mean I love other cultures! I find them fascinating in every aspect. I'm just peeved that anyone coming into this country, legal or not, should learn some English if they want to get anywhere in this country. Let's say I wanna visit France, well I'm going to learn a little French before I get there otherwise I'm going to be very very lost. A French guy might even yell at me "LEARN SOME GODDAMN FRENCH, YOU DUMB AMERICAN!" (which wouldn't surprise me if that has ever happened). It's just common sense; if you're going to a foreign country, learn some of its language.
And I could care less if a Mexican family talks to each other in Mexian. More power to them. But one lady I tried to help didn't speak one word of English, and she'd just give me a confused look and squeak "eh?". She was by herself, and had no fucking idea what she was doing. I just rang up her order, helped her pay for the order by pointing at the buttons, and as politely as I could shooed her away. I mean, how am I supposed to help someone with their basic needs if we can't fucking communicate?
I am the exact opposite of xenophobic… er, that is to mean I love other cultures! I find them fascinating in every aspect. I'm just peeved that anyone coming into this country, legal or not, should learn some English if they want to get anywhere in this country.
I understand the sentiment, but the reality is, where's a poor Mexican immigrant (who seem to be the main target of this type of argument) going to learn English? For all of the reasons they come to the US (escape poverty, get an education, better their quality of life, etc), those are all reasons they can't just up and take some English night class in Mexico before they get here. They have to learn it once they arrive, and I would bet most of them don't have the time or money to take a structured course right away, either. They'll have to learn it by immersion, or through the network of friends they make. For someone who says they love other cultures you don't seem very understanding of that.
I'm sure they realize that they're limiting their opportunities and prejudicing people against them by not being able to speak English. But I'm also sure that learning a language is low on their list of priorities when compared to things like 'having enough money for groceries' and 'trying to find a doctor who will treat us when we're uninsured'.
And I could care less if a Mexican family talks to each other in Mexian.
I think you mean Spanish.
But one lady I tried to help didn't speak one word of English, and she'd just give me a confused look and squeak "eh?". She was by herself, and had no fucking idea what she was doing. I just rang up her order, helped her pay for the order by pointing at the buttons, and as politely as I could shooed her away. I mean, how am I supposed to help someone with their basic needs if we can't fucking communicate?
Sounds like you communicated fine. :) Certainly it was an inconvenience for you, but I bet she probably felt pretty embarrassed and ignorant as well. She likely had never done that by herself before. I've been in that situation myself and it helps immensely if the person who has to help me is understanding or has good humor, rather than acting annoyed or bored. I feel like less of an ignorant asshole.
Sheesh, watch some Kid From Brooklyn if you want a funnier and angrier rant. Wow… constructive criticsm on a rant… remind me to pay for two hundred dollars in groceries in quarters next time I come through your line, THEN you can spit water in my face and tell me how much Attack of the Clones sucked…
No, I meant more along the lines of how the "heroes" in Star Wars were a bunch of crazy space nuts trying to overthrow what they saw as a corrupt government. I'd also discuss how the so called "heroes" of star wars inadvertently killed a bunch of independent contrasters working on the incomplete Death Star in Return of the Jedi.
You know which customers I really hate? All of them.
Sheesh, watch some Kid From Brooklyn if you want a funnier and angrier rant. Wow… constructive criticsm on a rant… remind me to pay for two hundred dollars in groceries in quarters next time I come through your line, THEN you can spit water in my face and tell me how much Attack of the Clones sucked…
No, I meant more along the lines of how the "heroes" in Star Wars were a bunch of crazy space nuts trying to overthrow what they saw as a corrupt government. I'd also discuss how the so called "heroes" of star wars inadvertently killed a bunch of independent contrasters working on the incomplete Death Star in Return of the Jedi.
You know which customers I really hate? All of them.
i hate the milk maids
Sheesh, watch some Kid From Brooklyn if you want a funnier and angrier rant. Wow… constructive criticsm on a rant… remind me to pay for two hundred dollars in groceries in quarters next time I come through your line, THEN you can spit water in my face and tell me how much Attack of the Clones sucked…
No, I meant more along the lines of how the "heroes" in Star Wars were a bunch of crazy space nuts trying to overthrow what they saw as a corrupt government. I'd also discuss how the so called "heroes" of star wars inadvertently killed a bunch of independent contrasters working on the incomplete Death Star in Return of the Jedi.
You know which customers I really hate? All of them.
i hate the milk maids
…well, since I get asked a certain question a lot, I'm very tempted to by a posterboard and black shoe polish and make a "YES, I can assure you, I'M OPEN!!!!!!!" on my checkstand.
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