Thread "Rate the funny thing the person above you says" in forum "MAFIA... and other forum games"

Posted at 7:11PM, Nov. 26, 2008

0/5

Come on man :(

You make my penis soft.

Posted at 7:11AM, Nov. 27, 2008

0/5

STOP CURSING,DAMNIT!!!

Posted at 2:11PM, Nov. 27, 2008

1/5

Okay my thingmy:

I have over 9000 friends online and make love to my hand whenever and wherever, sometimes even when I don't want it; Beat that society

Posted at 2:11PM, Nov. 29, 2008

…(thats less than 0)/5

A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.

Posted at 10:12AM, Dec. 13, 2008

3/5
Me (to Cool Guy on MSN):
i have an idea
let's go to wikipedia
click the ramdom page button
and see what page we land in

CG:
good idea
(After a while)
CG:
Mohave
The Mohave are an indigenous north American people.

Me:
holy shit
i just landed on pocahontas

Posted at 10:12AM, Dec. 13, 2008

5/5 Now I get it LOL

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Posted at 10:12AM, Dec. 13, 2008

5/5!

How many idiots do you need to change a lightbulb?
1001.
1 to hold the lightbulb,the others to spin the house.

Posted at 11:12AM, Dec. 13, 2008

4/5 lol

Awsome,I finally got enough money for gas…..wait a minute….I sold my car

Posted at 3:12PM, Dec. 16, 2008

4/5 funny

I watched a terror movie:…HSM3 *Screams like a little girl*
PLEASE NO MORE ZAC EFFRON!

Posted at 10:12AM, Dec. 17, 2008

0/5 funny. That's not funny. It's fucking horrible and depressing.

So today I was walking to work when I saw a funeral in progress at Forest Lawn cemetery. Since I was already wearing a suit (required for my job) and I was pretty early for work, I decided to pop in to see what was going on. I walked up the marble path, up to a rather large memorial service (about 250-300 people) for what appeared to be a baby that had died shortly after birth. The family really went all out, the tombstone was massive and the coffin had gold embroidering, really nice. The people looked about what you would expect, all dressed up, mothers were crying, and even a few fathers couldn't hold back their tears.

Well about 15 minutes in, after the opening hymn, people started to filter up to the microphone to express their condolences to the family. The grandfather said some words about how everything is a blessing even if it doesn't seem like it, the brother of the father reassured the family that, if they ever needed anything, that the family was there for them.

Then a man walked up, about in his late 40's, and said "Although I don't really know the family, or the deceased that well, I want to say, I'm sorry for your loss. I too have lost a child." He walked from the mic, over to the families, shook their hand and walked away.

He didn't know the family? So, it seemed ANYONE could say something at the funeral.

I straighted my tie, put on my most sorrowful expression, and walked towards the front. I approached the man holding the microphone and, in my most solemn tone, asked if I might say a few words. The man smiled warmly and handed me the microphone, completely oblivious to what was about to happen.

I turned to face the crowd, all intently looking at me with the most melancholy and tearful eyes you've ever seen. I cleared my throat and said my piece:

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I DON'T FUCK A SANDWICH BEFORE I EAT IT!"

The crowd was horrified. The sound manager tried to unplug the speakers before I could finish my joke, but to no avail; he didn't react fast enough and couldn't get himself together before the punchline rang through the cemetery.

The crowd went fucking batshit. The reaction started with sheer shock and horror, and ended in a blind rage, with everyone, even some of the WWII veterans and grandmothers in the crowd, trying to tackle me to the ground.

Being that I was a football running back in high school, I was much faster than everyone there. Good thing too, God knows what would have happened if they caught me. Probably have thrown me into the grave with their failure of a living baby. I had to run around for a bit, but I eventually made my way to the western exit. I've never had so many lulz in my entire life.

Posted at 3:12PM, Dec. 17, 2008

0/5 you suck

I was taking to a friend of mine then suddenly another friend of mine jumps at me grabs me by the arms then screams "Suprise Buttsex!!!" I imidietly jumped away and nearly punched him in the face.

Posted at 7:12PM, Dec. 17, 2008

3/5 Both of you got seriously pwned.

A visit to a strange website:

"Ok… so, time to see if that website scrawled on the bathroom stall is any good. Lets see… www.orangerave.com, ok…… geez, this taking a while. I hate dialup. Maybe I should invest in SHAW broadband or something. Jim has it, and he says-Oh, sweet it loaded! Hmm, a picture. Loading a little slow, no doubt thanks to dial up… Hey, is that Mr. Peters from the old folks hom- Oh. Oh my God. Oh my GOD!!! Ahhh Jesus Christ, make it go away!"

Posted at 2:12AM, Dec. 20, 2008

3/5 it's fake

Siderman:Web of shadows,my friends said Speederman:Huevo of shadow