All right, I was kind of hesitant to bring this up but I'm starting to seriously consider going to therapy. I'm starting to worry about my mental health. So, have any of you guys ever gone to therapy? What are your thoughts on the matter? Is it worth it?
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Therapy
I'd say it depends on the type of person you are and the type of problem you have. I know several people for whom therapy has been a very bad experience and possibly done more harm than good.
Frankly, if you have any really good friends or family members who can (and are willing to) lend a sympatheic ear and give honest, practical advice, then you might be better talking things through with them. If you haven't (or if you just don't feel you can approach them), therapy might be worth trying.
I have been to therapy before, but it wasn't my fault nor was it needed.
When I was in High School, I used to keep a list of names of people that I owed favors to for whatever kind act they did me. Just a small little thing to keep up with so I wouldn't wind up in debted to anyone for too long.
However, titling the page 'The List' was probably a bad idea. When the school found out about it they wouldn't listen, I guess people can keep lists on those they wish harm to but not those they want to be nice to.
As for how they found out…I used to sleep through a lot of classes. It was boring, and I knew the materials anyways. I read the textbooks a good week or two in advance. One day another student, I never did find out who, snatched my notebook out of my bookbag in Social Studies. I don't know why, but they flipped through it, and passed it around. From what I heard, another student found The List and showed it to the teacher when they returned to the room.
These miscreants who were riffling through my property were simply told to settle down and get back to work. I, on the other hand, was sent to the Principal's office. He called my dad, we talked, I tried to explain, he wouldn't listen.
I wound up suspended for one week (I would've argued, but to me it was like a vacation), and my dad took me to see a therapist to get to the root of the problem.
I tried to explain to them, and after half an hour it was clear they weren't buying it. So…I got irritated and started bullshitting in the most sarcastic tone of voice I could manage.
Somehow, they fully believed I heard voices in my head commanding me to list the innocent and lead them to evil before slaughtering them with a handaxe in front of the local Walmart. Go figure.
I was put on a medication which I never took, I refused to return to the therapist, and the school kept tabs on me until I dropped out.
On a positive note, I did manage to return all my favors. Even more positive, after dropping out I went and got my GED, effectively 'graduating' a year ahead of my graduating class. The most satisfying part was the irritated look the school superintendent gave me when I walked into his office just to wave it in his face and say 'thanks.'
Mostly because he refused to sign a paper saying I could go ahead and get my GED. I had to get the signature of another school's superintendent within the same area.
All this just to say that therapists…are a longshot. Some of them are very good, they can help people immensely. If you have a real problem, that is. Just look around first, find the ones that have good patient and peer reviews, and then select…whoever you can afford.
And if you're like me and get forced into it…the results are less spectacular.
Thems my experiences and two cents.
I just pray this is the kind of therapy you were asking about, and if not…sorry for the long post on the wrong subject.
I think the majority of bad therapy experiences have been had by people that did not want to receive it… You seem open to the process and if you're really concerned about your mental health i say you're making the right decision.
I know there are still a lot of 'suck it up and git r' done' types out there that think it's best to keep these problems in the family, but sometimes your family isn't going to know squat about how to treat you and bullshit their way through some advice- not because they're ashamed they don't know- but because they care about you and not having an answer means they've failed you.
So i say go for it and hope you'll find a trustworthy therapist :)
It depends on the type of therapy.
The thing about it, though, is that it should NOT be a friend, family member, or anyone you otherwise know. Talking to a total stranger for whom professional reasons you can confide in is a totally different experience to talking to someone you have some sort of pre-existing relationship with. It's actually much more liberating than just talking to a sympathetic friend because the therapy has defined boundaries and the relationship exists for you to talk and them to listen. People have therapists because they want to talk about stuff they would not be able to talk to openly about with other people in their lives. Just the act of talking and being honest can be therapeutic. Also, the act of talking through and explaining things to another person can be very enlightening for the speaker. So- don't listen to anyone who tells you that talking to a friend or family member is just as good as to a therapist. (Sorry dajb :))
I doubt any good therapist will give you straight-up "advice" about your life so I hope you are not looking for that. Although you have been able to talk to them, they won't truly know you or your situation. A therapist is more like an intermediary between different parts of your brain that have trouble communicating with each other. They'll ask questions intended to get YOU to think clearly and make decisions. A decision you have made for yourself is one that you are more likely to follow and is better one for you than something a relative stranger would advise based in limited knowledge.
It's my own experience that people who don't understand what they should expect from therapy are the ones who come out disappointed. A therapist is going to ask a lot of circular questions; not give opinions or judgments; not tell you what to do; etc. But they will listen, and they can help you decide on things for yourself. That seemingly passive role seems to be why some people think therapy is a lot of head-nodding talking nonsense.
(Of course, there are other types of therapists, like behavioral therapists are a great help to those with long-term depression because they help you change your habits etc.)
So- even just a few sessions with a therapist can be worth it, if you know what you want from it and what type of therapist you think you would need.
All right, I was kind of hesitant to bring this up but I'm starting to seriously consider going to therapy. I'm starting to worry about my mental health. So, have any of you guys ever gone to therapy? What are your thoughts on the matter? Is it worth it?
First of all, I'm speaking from experience here. And its up to you to listen to me or ignore me.
I went to a psychiatrist because I had depression and anger issues. The first guy I met appeared to be disinterested in what I have to say and it annoyed me. He kept on looking out the window and at his cellphone on EVERY SINGLE SESSION. So I went to this other guy.
This other guy was better. He would genuinely listen without judging me. Also, I just realized that I was very lucky to have run into a really GOOD MAN. Why? Its because it was I who insisted on being put on meds. This guy was discouraging me from meds, as demonstrated by his constant "are you sure" kind of questions and statements that I literally had to say yes for 10 times at least.
I wanted to be put on the meds. And so I was prescribed it.
But the meds only provided a temporary relief and it made me sort of addicted to it.
And so, my advice to you with regards to depression is to seek a SPIRITUAL solution.
Spirituality doesn't necessarily mean you have to go to a church or sign up for some religion you don't want.
I got cured of my depression. After learning the truth – both through reading and experiencing it (to start, try focusing your attention on a candle flame and see how long you can hold your attention) at the same time.
Once you realize that you are a spiritual being, that will set you down the path towards self-healing and spiritual evolution.
Once I realized that, I started to ask myself:
Wait a minute. What am I being depressed for?
Why am I worrying about very trivial things as compared to what is really going on?
And then as you go on, you will gain a more solid understanding of events that happened to you in your life. Even the negative ones. Even the ones you would curse at God for. Yes I did curse at God. Yes I screamed at the top of my lungs and extended my middle fingers at the sky. Yes I was telling God that if he ever existed, to strike me down with lighting because I don't wanna live anymore.
But its only later that I realized the misunderstandings I had of alot of the things I've been taught. By religious institutions. By my parents. By the school system. By society in general. I had to completely re-learn everything from scratch. I had to shift my paradigm. In order to survive.
After you re-learn and rebuild your knowledge, you will feel alot better in the end.
As the cliches go:
THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!!!
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!
Thats my 2-cents. :)
I've had therapy for more than a year now (because of panic attacks, and just lots of anxiety in general), and it's still ongoing. I see my therapist once a week (not during the holidays though) and so far it was definitely worth it. It's a very, very slow process, but it's so much better than constantly worrying and fearing things that aren't even there.
Because trust me, one thing you wouldn't want to happen is going completely insane with worry and being locked up all day in a psychiatric hospital. I've been there before and it was one of the worst experiences in my whole life.
So I'd say go for it, better safe than sorry. If you want therapy, I highly doubt you'll regret it. And if it's not the right thing for you, it's always possible to quit and try seeing another therapist or something completely different.
So- don't listen to anyone who tells you that talking to a friend or family member is just as good as to a therapist. (Sorry dajb :))No problem! I did start my post by saying that it depends on the type of person you are, the type of problem you have and also caveated with "if" you have the right type of family member.
Personally, I think simply saying don't go to a friend is as dangerous as simply saying don't go to a therapist. (Sorry Skoolmunkee!) Everybody needs different kinds of help and, for some, going to a therapist is the worst thing possible. Too many therapists rely on methods and techniques which are not suitable for the individual client which is why so many people in therapy never get out of it.
I didn't (and wouldn't) say go to a friend or family member just because they're a friend or family member. But if you have someone who will really listen and give honest, practical advice (and if you are the type of person able to listen and evaluate that advice) then - for a lot of people - that is often going to be of far more benefit than going to a stranger who just happens to have a certificate on the wall.
Therapists are great for some people. They're just not right for every type of person or every type of problem.
Therapists are great for some people. They're just not right for every type of person or every type of problem
Some Therapists are great for some people. Some therapists are not right for every type of person.
It's a search for a good one that's the rub. You'll need different therapists at different points in your life with different techniques. Intellectually I know all the the coping mechanisms and can quote the major types of behavioral therapy chapter and verse. I've had both great and bad expereinces with my therapists.
If you go into it by force, you won't be helped. You have to face your problem, let the therapist help you define it and youhave to want to accept the changes. If not, enjoy your illness and don't tell me how miserable you feel. You refused the help and fucked yourself. Cruel? You bet but sometimes some in need of help only respond to that. I've been on the receiving end of that and I needed it at the time because I was fucking myself up. And guess what I had a breakthrough! How about that. Sarcasm always works on me and so is displaying to me just how ridiculous my thought patterns are.
Between my sister and me we've been in therapy for three quarters of a century. I did the special ed teaching with a child psychologist at my elbow. You see the pathology and try to help and watch as they continue to fuck themselves up. It's like the Borg; in the end resistence is futile because you'll end up FUBAR.
And if one more Psychologist, therapist type tells me I should go into the field I'll scream.
But you won't be helped unless you're willing to accept it.
Thanks for all the advice everyone. I'm going to check to see if I can't find a good therapist. I actually have considered most of the alternatives presented as well. I'd like to be able to talk to my family or my friends about how I've been feeling but I can't and I'm still not sure to which problems are just my own fault. I guess the trick is finding the right therapist. Thanks again all this really does help.
More people should so get therapy than not. It really does help. But by the end of the day it's really just you helping yourself. The terapist is only there to help you make sense of things that you might not be able to do on your own. Venting and communicating with other human beings about your problems or emotions is incredibly helpful to solving stress related issues, and returning the human mind to a healthy state.
Just be prepared to talk about your childhood a lot. Much of what shapes you as an adult has to do with your life as a child. Traumatic events can register concious or subconcious personality traits in you. Just as well, there is a lot that we inhereit from our fathers and mothers, genetics plays into the workings of the human mind just as much as it does in the sense that you can get - say - colon cancer because it runs in the family.
It's the theory that birds know how to migrate because it's learned from their parents, or where some predatory animals know the best places to hunt as the "memories" have been passed down. However, some therepaists go off the deep end with this theory and just haaaave to associate everything with your childhood. Think Freud.
EDIT: Boy look at all these typos.
My parents made me go to a psychiatrist when I was a kid. I think it's worth it if they give you pills. They have the best pills. But in all honesty just go for one visit if you don't like it, it is no big deal. Nothing wrong with going to a therapist isn't that pretty much why we drink? Cause it's cheaper than therapy.
I wasn't going to post on this topic but one guy had a pretty good answer.
Go at least once, then decide.
I went a couple times for separation anxiety…err I mean depression, see My left leg was amputated because of heart and artery disease and blood clot issues blah blah
But my point is I started having anxiety attacks when appointment time came around.
I'm on many meds for physical health, but I only go every 3 months to a shrink for refills and med check for depression and now (thanks to shrinks) anxiety.
Yeah I'd def say Therapy isn't for everyone. Sorry about the separation anxiety joke, but once a little girl asked me what happened to my leg and I told her I lost it. Had she seen it? Humor helps me. Yeah I'm serious!
I've been in therapy on and off for about ten years.
The hardest thing for me was coming to terms with not being able to deal with my "problems" myself. I've always had the misguided notion that asking for help meant I was "weak". The second hardest thing, which I haven't completely achieved, is breaking down the defense mechanisms (or whatever you want to call it)that keeps me from forming emotional connections with other humans and trusting someone enough to actually talk to them honestly about myself.
I'd encourage anyone who felt they needed therapy to at least try it. I don't really want to go into how I feel about my own experiences, which suffice to say ain't been ideal, because I don't want to imply that it can't do worlds of good for a lot of folks.
Personal childhood experience:
When I was 9 and my dad died it kinda messed me up a little. I wasn't getting along with others so well (and developed a death obsession which is obvious to anyone who has read my unfinished scripts, I have yet to write a story where no one dies, heh) and I was a little agressive, especially to people picking on me. Well, I was sent to a psychiatrist (or a psychologist or both as we went through couple of diferent ones). They diagnosed me with neurosis and gave me some pills. Well, the pills worked, sort of… I wasn't getting angry or anything like that… but they also sucked all energy from me so I was more like a zombie. Instead of taking me 10 minutes to get to school, it was taking me exactly a HALF HOUR! So I stopped taking them fast.
What do I remember from the whole thing? The terribly long long loooong wait for every visit. See, youcould get only registered before 7am, but they didn't open until NINE and every patient got as much time in there as necessary so sometimes it meant waiting until noon :P
In the end they didn't help me much BUT the papers I had from that thing were enough for me to avoid going into the army (which is mandatory in here). So yeah, a minor win.
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