Thread "What will you do with your fruitcake?" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 1:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

It's near that time of year again. Y'know… the presents, the fat guy in the red suit, those sexy female elves, and…

the Fruitcake! AUGH!!!

Every year my uncle sends me fruitcake for Christmas. And I'm left trying to figure out what to do with it. I find the thing very hard to eat. Not that it's bad… well, okay. So I just don't like fruitcake.

I plan on bringing my fruitcake to work when I get it so I can use it to deal with drunkards. How about you?

Posted at 1:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

My grandma used to send a fruitcake every year. It was really yummy, but that's probably an exception to the rule.

Um…you can use it as a bludgeoning device! Or leave it on the counter, and my roommate's boyfriend will eat it (since he's like a vacuum cleaner).

Posted at 1:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

Um…you can use it as a bludgeoning device!

Well, that's my plan. Unfortunately one of the things I do on the job is to deal with wayward and violently aggressive drunkards who show up during the holidays. And since fruitcake isn't classified as a weapon… hehehe…

Posted at 1:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

I've never had, nor gotten a Fruitcake, but if I did…
…
…

I don't know what I would do with it…

Posted at 2:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

I've never had, nor gotten a Fruitcake, but if I did…
…
…

I don't know what I would do with it…

ditto. you could use it as a paperweight? or just plain throw it out without telling your relative.

Posted at 2:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

Oh, the usual. Set it on fire and do a tribal dance around it.

Posted at 2:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

Cover it in oil and light it. HAPPY NEW YEARS!

lol I actually did that last year…

Posted at 3:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

If I ever get a fruitcake I'll do the following.

1. model it for a sprite to be used in my comic
2. smash it with a hammer
3. do what Puff said
4. vaccum remains
5. take remains and mix with concrete and make a block
6. take block and blow it to peices
7. repeat step 4
8. dump remains into Missouri River

Posted at 3:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

A fruitcake? I don't know… I guess I'd share it with my family. I don't think I've ever eaten a fruitcake before.

If I don't like it, I could give it to my cats. They'll like it.

Posted at 3:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

Bah…my grandmother makes Pan de Pasqua(teehee spanish)….and my parents love it. But it's bleh, so fruitcake if not eaten is forgotten…and chucked into the trash or wrapped and given to someone else.

I'd love to be able to set it on fire…though…

Posted at 4:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

cut off a piece…zap it in the microwave shortly and eat with some warm plum sauce.
Yum.

Posted at 6:11PM, Nov. 27, 2007

I've never had, nor gotten a Fruitcake, but if I did…
…
…

I don't know what I would do with it…

ditto. you could use it as a paperweight? or just plain throw it out without telling your relative.

Well, since there is fruit in it, we could say its some kind of acient jeweled tribal rock.

Posted at 2:11AM, Nov. 28, 2007

Leave it in the open for about 6 months ot let it harden.
then use it as a weapon.

Posted at 7:11AM, Nov. 28, 2007

i bet the thirty or so chickens we've got running around our farm would looooove fruitcake.

but since i'm at my dorm room instead and i'm poor and can't afford much, i would probably end up eating it if it was edible :P

Posted at 12:11PM, Nov. 28, 2007

Usually I eat it. I accept whatever food I can hold of and I'd probably starve if I started getting fussy over small issues like edibility.

Posted at 3:11PM, Nov. 29, 2007

Feed it to the cat.

Fruitcake is gross.

Posted at 4:11PM, Nov. 29, 2007

Fruitcake is gross.

I AGREE.

Totally.

Posted at 4:11PM, Nov. 29, 2007

Last year's fruit cake got lost in the garage and when we found it a colony of ants had set up home inside. This year I'll try and avoid it at all costs.

Posted at 7:11AM, Nov. 30, 2007

eat it and turn it into poop

Posted at 7:11PM, Nov. 30, 2007

I'd use it as a door stopper, or maybe a wheel chock.

Posted at 5:12PM, Dec. 2, 2007

I hit people with it.

Posted at 5:12PM, Dec. 2, 2007

eat it and turn it into poop

What do you mean "turn it into poop"?

I'm pretty sure it's mostly there already… I mean, it smells a lot better, but with all that dense, fibrous dried fruit I'm not sure how much digestion actually occurs…? :P

Posted at 5:12PM, Dec. 2, 2007

I will sell mine to buy this months Nickelodean Magazine. KC Green & HPK collaborated on something called the wizard brothers that made it into the comic. Congratulate them on making it into the magazine form of nick. I for one welcome out evil viacom overlords!

Posted at 8:12AM, Dec. 3, 2007

I'll use it for jailbait.

Posted at 9:12AM, Dec. 3, 2007

Actually, I think there is only one fruitcake in existence, which would explain its unusual texture and hardness. It just gets passed around every year to someone different…