Thread "How do you deal with certain people?" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 8:03AM, Mar. 3, 2017

Besides punching them in the face. I don't know if this can go here but for the last two weeks at work I've had to deal with some rather rude customers. And it bothers me where I can't really draw or do anything because I don't understand.

One there this lady who comes in the store and all and I suppose she smells that what someone said but she insist that she doesn't like me and I am mean because I am gay. I am not but I am asexual and I do put rainbows on my equipment. So apparently because of this I am mean and not good at my job. ( I groom dogs) but I have request people and others that like what I do and I am far from mean to any dog.

The second this lady whom I never met kept saying I messed her dog up. She calls me Chinese or that Asian. On the phone to the people I work with the thing is everyone told her I never groomed her dog it's in the system under a girl who was fired. She's about 7 feet tall not entirely but she tall I am a mear 5'1" and look nothing like this lady. So I saw her one day cause she was bad mouthing me right in front of everyone I work with. I told her mam I have never groomed your dog " she replies " I know that" which makes me wonder so is this a race thing? Cause there are no other Asian in that salon. And I am grooming another dog whom I guess she new the owner and badmouthing me again to my coworkers about me not doing that one and the dog doesn't like me. I duke the dog playing with me and kissing me means the dog hates me to her.
Aside from all that what hurt the most was my coworker didn't say one thing to defend me. They just agreed somewhat with her. And I stood there wanting to stop working and leave. Not one person corrected this lady and yet they all make fun of her behind her back and then try to defend me when she not around. Worst was the note the one girl tried to leave in the profile like it was my fault about her dog so I had to change it.

I really don't know what to do in this situation. The women had a Facebook I looked up to see what kind of person she was but I don't tell the name because reasons. But should I just let it go? Cause it seems no one at my job even remote wanted to say something to this lady who was badmouthing me. It could be cause she black because someone had the nerve to say " she's black she can't be racist" and I stared at her saying doesn't matter what color she is she race checked me.

Anyaways any response on how to deal with this will be helpful. Or if anyone understands what I just went through.

:( thankyou!

Posted at 9:03AM, Mar. 3, 2017

I can sympathize with this. I worked in an animal clinic for a year as an assistant dog groomer. There were very few truly awful customers, mostly we just had frustrating dogs and owner's with unrealistic expectations.

To my recollection, there was this one client who was a regular with us and we had a good history with her. Out of no where one day she accused my groomer of injuring her dog. This was total BS and the vet backed it up as he had actually performed a veterinary check up with the dog after it was groomed. What was also highly suspicious was that she didn't call to complain until three days after the appointment. We figure she must have injured the dog herself accidentally, or it hurt itself in some other way, and she was hoping to pin it on us so we'd give her free grooms or veterinary care in response. Instead she was blacklisted and therefore could no longer solicit us for grooming or veterinary services. The same happened to another customer who protested we did an absolute crap job of grooming his dog and he insisted we do it again for free. My groomer has performed free touch ups if the groom isn't what her and the client agreed upon, but she completed this dog 100% to the client's specifications. It turns out the client changed his mind after the fact! We blacklisted him. It's as easy as saying "our professional relationship isn't working out, we advise you seek grooming services elsewhere."

I've heard even worse stories of client's tearing groomer's apart and blasting them on social media sites. In one instance a woman insisted a groomer killed her dog who obviously had unrelated health conditions. Pet owners can be creepy, obsessive miserable things, there's nothing you can do to change this. Speak with your management or HR representative about how this client has made you feel and discuss the possibility of asking her to leave if she creates more problems for you.

Posted at 11:03AM, Mar. 3, 2017

I worked in customer service most of my life. People can be difficult and often will take out their frustrations and anger that have NOTHING to do with you, on you, just because you are a convenient target. Everyone has battles they are fighting and you just might end up being collateral damage. It's often not personal. Some people just bitch to hear themselves bitch.

They cannot make you feel bad. Only you can allow yourself feel bad. Do they know anything about you? No. In fact in this case they are blaming you for someone else's mistake just because you're there. Collateral damage. How do you defend yourself? Welcome to the world of "I" statements. Acknowledge the validity of their feelings. Offer alternatives and solutions.

"I see you are very angry. How can I help to make this better? I understand you are unhappy with your experiences here, let me offer some solutions"

I've been told that I am very witty. Self effacing. So I often commiserate with the victim-hood of the person. If it was me I accept responsibility and acknowledge my error and ask what can I do to make them happy? Let's fix this. My personal identity has nothing to do with this because they don't know anything about it unless you share it with them. You are offering a service and your sexual orientation, self-esteem, hair color, race and religious affliction have nothing to do with that service. You are just two humans trying to find a middle ground so you can both find satisfaction.

Of course it has taken me 30 plus years of therapy to get to this point in my life. But starting now your journey might not be as long, tortured and painful.

Posted at 7:03PM, Mar. 3, 2017

thanks you guys. I was feeling really bad. I also talked to another girl that wasn't there. she told me that because my co-workers never had to deal with any racist remarks before they don't know how to handle it. but it hurt more that the people I work with didn't even stick up for me, and just stood there dumb founded.

it does hurt though racist remarks I can have tough skin, but at the same time those remarks hurt. as if I can't do anything write because I'm of a different race. it's hard to sit there and go why are you saying this about me you don't even know me.

the lady didn't even bother to know me, I never groomed her dog not once, but because of my race she kept lying and saying I did her dog. even when corrected till I confronted her about it and she said bluntly "i know you never groomed my dog" you would think someone would have said something when that part came out :(

that ladies done this the entire time. and like I said it hurt more that my co-workers didn't even stand up for me or say anything to correct this lady, but I suppose because they never had to deal with racist remarks before they don't know.

thanks though, I really needed some encouragement as bad as that sounds. but I just needed to hear others opinions or how to deal with it or if they did deal with it. it's greatly appreciated!

Posted at 8:03PM, Mar. 3, 2017

Sounds like a horrible, evil stupid bitch. :(
I console myself that people like that are only like that because their loves are crappy anyway- and if they behave like that to other people then someone is going to give them their just deserts pretty soon…
-the kind of people who get their food spit in, are charged more for services than other people, not helped when others would be etc.

That's all I can think: console yourself that because they're a shitty person that will make their own life shitty.

She's a pathetic loser.

Posted at 3:03AM, Mar. 4, 2017

Often people don't respond to racist remarks because it's the "WTF where did that come from!" reaction. Completely dumbfounded. It's often not that they didn't want to, they're just floored. Many are also at a loss how to respond to that. Unless they've gotten certain education as teachers or police officers they just don't know how to respond to someone spewing a torrent of racial epithets.

One can either use "I" statements or address the behavior not denigrate the person. Take the high road. "I am very hurt by that but such comments are not necessary" But most people are taught in school to just ignore outbursts as opposed to addressing them. "That statement is unnecessary, this is about your dog. Let's confine our discussion to the dog."

I had a fender bender with some middle aged guy in his BMW toy and he started up and I just glared at him and said "AT EASE! Those remarks are not necessary sir. The insurance will take care of it. We'll just exchange information and go." He meekly nodded, completely deflated, and that was that.