Thread "A Weird Thing that happened" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 5:10PM, Oct. 26, 2018

Whaddup peeps! Just wanted to let you all know about something that happened on my computer lately, that may or may not be pertinent to you.

Um, I guess I should explain the back story real quick: I bought a Bitcoin back in 2015, just out of curiosity. I thought the concept was cool. But then I never did anything with it. So, just recently, I found out that my Bitcoin I paid $300 for is now worth like six thousand bucks. Nice!

So, I decided I wanted to try my luck at some more speculating. I figured I'd buy some Ethereum because it's still cheap and maybe sit on it for a few years. So I hooked up with an old buddy of mine who does Bitcoin mining on the side. He's a lot more “in the know” about this type of stuff, and he clued me in on this website where I can buy crypto with super low transaction fees. So, I go there, and… the site's been taken down. Shit. Okay, no big deal, so I forget about it, but then the next day there was a message in my email. I figured it must be from that site I visited, and they're asking if I'm still interested. So I write back “Yeah, sure, I guess” and they say they'll contact me back.

For a week, I didn't get any emails from these people, and then one day a package arrived in the mail. I recognized the logo from the email I'd got, so I opened it up and there was a USB flash drive inside it. I was a little weirded out, because they never asked me for my home address, so I had no idea how they knew where to send the thing. I wasn't too weirded out about the USB, because I know with cryptocurrency, some of these dealers can be super cagey about security. Crypto is basically cash, after all. I figured there was some kind of url or key code on there that they didn't feel safe sending over the internet.

I'm not crazy enough to put a strange USB drive into my computer, but I did still have my old laptop lying around, the one I did Death P#rn on so many years ago. So I plugged that one in, and made sure not to connect it to the internet because I didn't want to sit through four hours of Windows updates, and then put in the USB drive. I opened it up in Windows Explorer and… it was blank. There was nothing on the stupid thing. Hmm, maybe they forgot to eject it properly after they added the files? That's weird. So I closed the window aaaand… that's when the crazy shit happened.

My desktop was gone. Like, vanished. No task bar, no icons, no nothing. Just a black screen with a giant face smack in the middle of it. It looked like… uh, have you ever seen one of those creepy uncanny valley robots that are supposed to be able to hold a conversation and pass for almost human… but they look a spasm-animated corpse instead? The face looked like one of those, but badly pixelated like it was running on some late 90s gaming engine. It was creepy as hell, actually, and even though it was just sitting there, it seemed to be moving somehow; maybe it was the crappy game engine running underneath, but it didn't appear to be a static object. I stared at it for maybe a full minute – and it stared back at me – and I waited for something to happen, but nothing ever did. I leaned back in my chair and rocked, pondering my next move.

And the thing's eyes followed me.

It wasn't subtle either. Not like the Mona Lisa or anything. No, the eyes were really moving, and they were really following me. I sat up in my chair and juked around left and right like a boxer, and sure as hell the eyes flitted left and right, tracking my every movement. So now I was officially freaked out. But I wasn't panicking just yet. I know it's possible the thing might have wormed its way into my webcam and it's not that hard to program something that can follow basic motions. So I reached out and covered the webcam lens on my laptop, and that seemed to work. The eyes stopped focusing on me and started drifting independently of each other, swimming around inside that dead plastic face, searching for something to lock on to. Okay, good. So my laptop isn't haunted. It's just some kind of virus.

So I take my hand off the camera and the eyes instantly fix onto me again. But now the expression has darkened. Before it was just a dead, expressionless doll face, but now it was clearly scowling at me, and it seemed less dead somehow. I'd done something to piss it off. And the lips started moving, like it was trying to say something, but I have the habit of plugging in my analog speakers and they were turned off so I couldn't hear it. And I decided I didn't want to hear it either. That was enough for me.

I hit the Power button on my laptop… and nothing happened. The face was grinning now. Like, the craziest fucking grin you ever saw, because those crazy eyes just did not match that serene almost smug grin on its plastic lips. I hit the power button again and held it this time, and still nothing was happening. Okay, so now I was panicking. How the hell is this thing keeping my laptop from turning off like this?! When I looked back at the screen, the face was bigger now; it filled the screen corner to corner and I could no longer see the black background. The volume toggle appeared in the corner of the screen and started going up, down, up, down, up. It wanted me to turn the volume on. It had something it wanted to tell me.

But that was more than enough for me. I unplugged the power cable and closed the laptop. I was not even remotely surprised that the little blue power light stayed on. I set my possessed laptop aside and breathed a sigh of relief that the nightmare was over and done with. I have to admit, I was breaking into cold sweats when I hooked this computer back up and powered it on. I more than half expected to see those dead eyes staring back at me. But thankfully everything's okay. I wasn't connected to the internet, so there's no way it could have infected this machine. But I guess it always could have somehow gotten onto the wireless network. You never know.

I had to move the old laptop into another room, because it keeps powering on in the middle of the night and making noises when I'm trying to sleep. It just won't leave me alone until I hear what it has to say. But I'm not interested. It's currently in the guest bedroom, in a dresser drawer, under a bunch of old clothes I never wear anymore.

I will say though, that lately I've noticed some odd things going on with my computer. It's little things. Like, sometimes there's a weird lag when I click on things or type. I thought it might be a keylogger or some other spyware, but I've run multiple virus scans and nothing's come up. And programs that used to always open full screen open up in little docked windows and I have to manually maximize them. It's little things like that, that didn't happen before. It's just enough to let me know that something's not right, but I don't know what. And if that thing did follow me onto this computer, I guess there's no reason it couldn't follow me here and find you as well. Just sayin'. So, if your computer starts acting kinda dodgy or anything, just keep that in mind. I'm giving you a heads up.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble. I'm sure it's nothing you'll need to worry about. And have a happy Halloween!

Posted at 2:10AM, Oct. 27, 2018

That would have made a good entry for twisted visions.

Posted at 3:10AM, Oct. 27, 2018

Would make a cool little comic.

But the best way to take care of possessed computers is to use a powerful magnetic field to wipe it clean.

Posted at 7:10AM, Oct. 27, 2018

What type of laptop do you have? Because that is a seriously impressive battery life for a years-old computer!

Posted at 4:10PM, Oct. 27, 2018

Hmm, it was either a Compaq or an Acer. I can't remember and I'm not gonna look! Honestly, I'm just glad tha+vËgéîæ¼ äß]Žsì¶2À0géîæ¼ äß]Žs‡·2À0

Posted at 10:10PM, Oct. 27, 2018

Well played, good sir!

Posted at 7:10AM, Oct. 28, 2018

Erase everything! All files must be erased. Which means no more El CID comics but it's a sacrifice that must be made! It's a conspiracy about the DD awards.

Oh the things people will do for a banner and a cheap metal sculpture of a duck.

Posted at 2:10PM, Oct. 28, 2018

The truth is it's a hack aimed at DD, they are stealing our comics and posting them on comic fury claiming copyright and selling them for big bucks to hollywood.

Posted at 9:10PM, Oct. 29, 2018

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There is something I must share with you.

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Posted at 4:10AM, Oct. 30, 2018

I'm disappointed, I wanted to hear how you made $90 an hour working from home. Damn you hackers.

Posted at 6:10AM, Oct. 30, 2018

Genejoke wrote:
I'm disappointed, I wanted to hear how you made $90 an hour working from home. Damn you hackers.

Without clear sinuses $90 an hour loses all meaning!😁😁