I was thinking about this-
"Hollywood" usually does bad adaptations of things, with a few notable great exceptions.
And there have been a lot of awful reboots that simply don't understand the original source material or change it for no real reason… Gem and the Holograms, Thundercats etc. The latest is Carmen San Diego: no longer is she a mysterious woman and a thief, now she's a plucky teen who's helping to foil the thieves… or something. I haven't seen it, but that sounds about right.
SO…
PINKY TA, Hollywood edition:
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It's animated. Pinky is 16. She's taken out of school by a secret agency that needs her because her mum used to work for them but now her mum has disappeared and of course it follows that her daughter should follow directly on and get the same job with no training or logic to proper;y explain why.
Along with Pinky are a plucky group of annoying teens her age who are all super "cool". She has a crush on Ace, and Cc is a rich girl rival bitch queen who also has a crush on Ace.
Pinky has to fight in giant mech battles against a mysterious evil foe and hopefully she will find a clue to where her mum disappeared to….
I should shop that around.
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Comic Talk and General Discussion *
How would Hollywood mess up your comic?
Heh, I kind of messed it up for them already because Jim and Shawn has ranged from a dull comic strip archetype thst would make Dilbert look like Hägar the horrible to a fusion of every over-the-top wackiness in the same vein as Looney Tunes/Monty Python/Bobobobobobobo.
But if they were to mess it up with today's standards then they'd either adapt it like Rick and Morty since, exactly like the latter, they were originally an unbearably cynical spoof of an 80s time traveling pair (with Bill and Ted instead of "Doc and Mharti") or they'd go the Powerpuff Girls route and strip it of everything that made it good to begin with to just resemble a 2014's Clarence but with superpowers.
And they'd give Heigie an unnecessary spin off show which would essentially be a ripoff of both The Harvey Kids and Hilda.
I'd be ok with the latter one so long as Ben Bocquelet wiuld be attached.
My main characters would be demoted to romantic interests. All edge would be removed, leaving Yuki a ditsy Clueless type Barbie girl and Kaida a tragic melodrama character. There'd just be two women. Just enough to talk to each other about men.
One secondary character would be the lead, probably Fudo. Antiheroes are "in," so Hollywood would remove any redeeming qualities and make him grittier. Jiro would still be in it for merchandising, but he'd be a CG and anthropomorphised wisecracking sidekick. Possibly not a cat but whatever animal is trending on social media. Maybe a red panda or a fox.
Larya would be a sparkly magical girl with all the anime big boob tropes (and get blonde hair) Searsha would be the cynical goth-loli magical girl companion.
And they're in high school and both after the same boy who has this Sword that's wanted by the evil president of the student council.
Reducing Sword of Kings to high school clubs, magical girls and harem anime.
There's no way Hollywood could ruin Robofemoids so long as I got paid. I'd rewrite or reimagine it any way they want because I'm always willing to sell out, so long as I get paid. Creative control? Nah, just get it out there and I get paid.
If the check has enough zeros on it they can do anything they want and I'll even help them do it. So long as I get paid.
Bottomless Waitress: Live action movie.
They're all teen girls in a band now, all 14, all in the same class at school.
They do waitressing as a side job at a cool hipster cafe, called "the bottomless diner" because of the free coffee refills.
They all have a crush on Craig who also works at the cafe but he's older than them: 18 and darkly broody. He's also in a bad too but it's a more popular goth/emo group and he's the lead singer.
The story centres around the girls trying to win a battle of the bands and they ultimately go up against Craig's band… Just when it looks like the love connection will be doomed forever Craig's band breaks up the night before the finale and Craig ends up going on stage with the girls and doing a duet with Jane.
They kiss at the end and everyone cheers.
Smorty Smythe.
First the ethnic humor would be politically corrected to death.
The Monastery and the monks would all get name changes.
No more 'Tshin Wahg Lo'
No more 'Kow Tung Lik'
or 'Fu Chin Khu Ke'
Phyllis would be sanitised. No longer a hardened Jewish refugee from a war-torn middle east or take away her sexually libertine ways. According to some PC's strong women aren't slutty and slutty women aren't strong.
Veri would be changed from her lily white Scandinavian form into a visible minority while leaving her brother Notso inexplicably still white along with his friend Rob because you can't have stupid minority characters unless the cast is mainly of that color. Its only OK to make fun of Whites or perhaps middle eastern types. But not in the way I depict Phyllis.
I could go on and on.
Doctor Trembles NYMD
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Doctor Chip Trembles is a down on his luck wise cracking New York plastic surgeon (played by Mathew Perry channelling Chandler Bing).
He is stuck in a hectic screwball love triangle with his personal assistant Beyonce Chundells and his soon to be ex-wife, a wall street financial analyst named Harriden Neidermeyer.
After discovering a pirate treasure map in an old Coke machine in the steam filled back alley behind his low rent surgery in the Bronx, Chip and Beyonce search for love and spanish bulleon in the chilly waters of the hudson river.
Will Chip and Harriden settle the custody battle for their eight chihuahuas? Will Beyonce and Chip find love, or will they be thwarted by the dashing and dastardly Scuba instructor who is secretly on the payroll of Harriden!?
All set to music and sponsored by WWE Summerslam.
The first mistake would be to offer me a huge percentage of the net profits.
Then their bookkeepers would make certain that there were no net profits.
Then they'd want to make everything PC, make the Empire socialist, and every major character a heroic ethnic.
(Now, I'd be overjoyed if they could get Forest Whitaker to play the Emperor…)
In other words, they'd keep the title and toss out everything else.
Petercat wrote:
The first mistake would be to offer me a huge percentage of the net profits.
Then their bookkeepers would make certain that there were no net profits.
Then they'd want to make everything PC, make the Empire socialist, and every major character a heroic ethnic.
(Now, I'd be overjoyed if they could get Forest Whitaker to play the Emperor…)
In other words, they'd keep the title and toss out everything else.
This is so true. But if the check is big enough I'd do it for them and they can keep the title. I'm a total sell out. Cue "if you want it come and get it (1969)"
I won't walk away from a fool and his money. ;)
For us: The Constellation Chronicle
The genre changes from sci-fi space opera to pure action. There is barely any political intrigue, a shoe-horned romance between the wrong characters. Half the cast is whittled down to five people and then they fight a cosmic monstrosity whilst refusing to resolve and subplots from the first act.
See Game of Thrones after season 4.
One way for Hollywood to totally ruin Robofemoids would be to play it totally serious with a big budget. (Of course all the gratuitous parts would go too. And PG-13. )
Change to aliens to some praying mantis or centipede that only talk in clicks. Keep it an army base but with the kids no one listens to. Of course one of the kids is a genius who figures out the weakness and defeats the aliens and free the Robofemoids who all revert back to normal at the end.
And tons of empty J.J. Abrams action and explosives as it's only saving grace.
But I'd still write it for them if they paid me enough money. I'd even audition for the part of one of the clueless adults.
Late to the party but oh well!
Lmao! They would destroy my comic. To start off they would make the cast all heterosexual, aside from a token gay guy who's used as the comedic relief. All trans characters will be taken out or turned into stereotypes. Everyone will probably be aged down because people can't related to near 30 year old for some reason. (unless it's a hardcore action movie)
My MC Apollo will no longer be an alcoholic, but a "misunderstood" eccentric boy. Also he is no longer a true moron who tries to do good, but fails and looks like a jackass. He'll be Hollywood's version of a "moron", still keeping him as likable and cute as possible, with very few real flaws. My other MC Julian will most likely be turned into a female to turn them into Apollo's lover interest, and will no longer be deeply psychologically broken (with the occasional breaks of sanity), but very superficially "depressed" where it's just… angst, and dumb. Sexual assault will probably be used in the most shoehorned in manner to make the audience sympathize with her.
They will take out all the abuse scenes, and bits showing psychological damage to have chick-Julian explain everything instead while sad music plays. She will cry… for the 10th time as our young hero Apollo comforts her, saying he'd never do that to her. Later on monologuing about how "damaged" she looked.
I won't go into detail for spoilers, but everything that will be happening in my comic will most likely be deleted because it's too graphic and mature. Also Hollywood can't write abuse, or illness of any kind to save their lives. Instead of my two MCs working to slowly get better (or at least improve), there will be some melodramatic scene where people yell, maybe someone gets hurt. Then like magic everything will be fine, and Apollo gets to kiss the girl he saved. The end!
In short they'd turn my story into a generic, disgusting romance. Lacking the ability to make a compelling story with the themes of mental illness and trauma… Also the audience HAS to know that Apollo is no homo. (not saying my comic would be any more interesting)
… I've thought about this a lot.
Since my characters are mostly female, I'm sure the casting would be all wrong. My main character is a warrior type so she would probably be painted up like a Barbie. Then they would give them all useless male love interests. I'm sure my characters would all stand around with the occasional pretty face close up instead of actually doing something.
Unless James Cameron was directing, then there would just be a lot of pointless CG & FX to wow the audience. lol.
DaniBoy wrote:Perfect!
Late to the party but oh well!
Lmao! They would destroy my comic. To start off they would make the cast all heterosexual, aside from a token gay guy who's used as the comedic relief. All trans characters will be taken out or turned into stereotypes. Everyone will probably be aged down because people can't related to near 30 year old for some reason. (unless it's a hardcore action movie)
My MC Apollo will no longer be an alcoholic, but a "misunderstood" eccentric boy. Also he is no longer a true moron who tries to do good, but fails and looks like an jackass. He'll be Hollywood's version of a "moron", still keeping him as likable and cute as possible, with very few real flaws. My other MC Julian will most likely be turned into a female to turn them into Apollo's lover interest, and will no longer be deeply psychologically broken (with the occasional breaks of sanity), but very superficially "depressed" where it's just… angst, and dumb. Sexual assault will probably be used in the most shoehorned in manner to make the audience sympathize with her.
They will take out all the abuse scenes, and bits showing psychological damage to have chick-Julian explain everything instead while sad music plays. She will cry… for the 10th time as our young hero Apollo comforts her, saying he'd never do that to her. Later on monologuing about how "damaged" she looked.
I won't go into detail for spoilers, but everything that will be happening in my comic will most likely be deleted because it's too graphic and mature. Also Hollywood can't write abuse, or illness of any kind to save their lives. Instead of my two MCs working to slowly get better (or at least improve), there will be some melodramatic scene where people yell, maybe someone gets hurt. Then like magic everything will be fine, and Apollo gets to kiss the girl he saved. The end!
In short they'd turn my story into a generic, disgusting romance. Lacking the ability to make a compelling story with the themes of mental illness and trauma… Also the audience HAS to know that Apollo is no homo. (not saying my comic would be any more interesting)
… I've thought about this a lot.
mishi_hime wrote:Unless James Cameron was directing, then there would just be a lot of pointless CG & FX to wow the audience. lol.Or Michael Bay XD
fallopiancrusader wrote:
Mindfold
Starring Tom Cruise as Darra, and Slyvester Stallone as Kit.
Directed by Alejandro Jodorowski
Produced by J J Abrams
I would pay to see that, sounds hilariously bad.
Genejoke wrote:Sly doesn't want to play a cat person so they're switching roles. Arnold Schwarzenegger will have a cameo as the general. Dame Helen Mirren or Glenn Close are being considered for the head witch.fallopiancrusader wrote:
Mindfold
Starring Tom Cruise as Darra, and Slyvester Stallone as Kit.
Directed by Alejandro Jodorowski
Produced by J J Abrams
I would pay to see that, sounds hilariously bad.
Meanwhile, Robofemoids will be picked up as a Scyfy original movie from the producers of Sharknado.
ozoneocean wrote:Brian Downey (Stanley Tweedle) would make a great Bob the Grey Guy. Wonder if Rutger Hauer is available for a cameo as a scientist.bravo1102 wrote:HA! that would actually happen…
Meanwhile, Robofemoids will be picked up as a Scyfy original movie from the producers of Sharknado.
Robofemoids deserves to be made by the creators of LEXX ;)
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