Thread "Embaressing stories!" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 7:12AM, Dec. 28, 2010

I feel it's only appropriate that the title to thread is misspelled.

I worked in the student center over the summer and applied to be held over into the fall. So I showed up for employee orientation in the fall and they read the names but mine wasn't on it. The supervisor took me aside adn asked why I was there.
"But I thought…"
I hadn't learned yet that with answer beginning with the words "But I thought…" YOU'RE WRONG!!!
I wasn't supposed to be there. I had told everyone that I was hired. I dissolved away in a flood tears. I broke down so bad they put me into the university mental health care program which back in 1981 as a 20 year old was even more embarrassing to mention to anyone.

And I haven't gotten any smarter since. Now I just get confirmation of everything endlessly before doing anything.

Posted at 12:12PM, Dec. 28, 2010

Where I live, we have a tradition of giving out "birthday licks." That is, on your birthday, all of your buddies get a free punch (a "lick") for every year old you've gotten. But then I moved to Cincinnati to attend school and apparently nobody up there has heard of it. So one day in class one of my friends mentioned that today was his birthday and I said something like, "Cool! That means I get to give you birthday licks!" and every head in the room just turned and stared at me in horror. That was pretty mortifying!

Where I lived you used to get one person to thump you in the back with a fist for each year. Not a punch, but a full on thwack with the bottom of a clenched hand for a good minute or two while everyone else counted how many of them you got. At the end they'd have a sore hand and you'd probably be halfway towards a couple broken ribs and winded.
It used to be done in fromt of the whole class before health and safety got their oars in and I think it just happens in playgrounds now.

We called them birthday "dumps".

Posted at 3:12PM, Dec. 28, 2010

Once upon a time I posted in an internet cesspool known as the 'Top Drawer'.

Posted at 6:01PM, Jan. 24, 2011

Warning: Contains poop.

I was walking over to visit some friends when… completely to my surprise, I crapped my pants. Really. It was one of those times when you think you need to fart and then… wham. Pants just full of crap. Luckily I was only about two blocks from my apartment.

I walked home as fast as I could, clenching my butt cheeks to keep any more from coming out and trying to ignore the slick, wet sensation that I imagined I could feel in my underwear. At the time I was living in a studio apartment with a shared bathroom located far down the hall (Basically a dorm) Once I was inside the bathroom I stripped off my clothes to survey the damage. Not as bad as I had thought, but still… a pants-load of poop. I hopped into the shower to clean up.

As I was showering I realized two things.

1. I didn't have a towel in the bathroom with me.
2. I didn't have a clean change of clothes (my shirt and socks had caught some "leakage" when I was getting undressed).

My apartment was located at the very end of the hall, so I was facing the prospect of having to flee down 150 feet of carpeted hallway and hope no one saw me.

And then, of course, someone knocked on the shower door. Here's what they said:

"How long are you going to be in there? We need to go to the bathroom!"

Here's what I said:

" $@*&!!! How many of you are out there?"

"There's three of us. You've been in there forever!"

I was trapped. So I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I wadded up my clothes and threw them out the window and then (dripping wet with only my coat and shoes on) climbed out after them into the rear courtyard. It was raining. And March. My apartment was ground level with a private back door connected to the courtyard, so I was able to get in without anyone seeing me. I got dressed and stepped out into the hall in time to see three guys standing around (two in bathrobes) waiting to use the toilet. I slipped on my coat and ran out the door and over to my friends house, where we played D&D all night.

100% true story.

Posted at 7:01PM, Jan. 24, 2011

Warning: Contains poop.

I think we have the winner.

Posted at 9:01PM, Jan. 24, 2011

I don't really have anything specific, but since I gesture a lot when I talk, there's a lot of times where I've swatted stuff out of peoples' hands or hit people as they pass by. There's no feeling like talking to your friends and suddenly there's M&Ms flying through the air like in those Skittles commercials.
Along with any situation where I'm walking while having a conversation, the likelihood of crashing into something or someone increases based on how interesting the conversation is, and automatically ramps up to 100% if the person is female.

Oh there was also this time when I thought it would be funny to go up the down escalator, not realizing there was a security station literally right at the bottom of said escalator.

Posted at 11:01PM, Jan. 25, 2011

Oh there was also this time when I thought it would be funny to go up the down escalator, not realizing there was a security station literally right at the bottom of said escalator.

Oh bro, I totally did the same thing when I was like 16! I just decided to run up the down escalator, and to my surprise a mall cop was RIGHT behind me! He totally yelled at me infront of all the customers in that Macy's… it was pretty embaressing.

Posted at 5:03AM, Mar. 17, 2011

I'm not sure sure if I'm embarrassed, shocked, amused or all three but…

I broke my nose and got a mild concussion this morning in college.

On a computer chair.

On the PADDED side of a computer chair!

And IT hit ME!

Thsi is the same person that rammed headfirst into a wall during a game of charades, got beat up every odd day in high school and was hit in the face with kicked basketballs several times AND NOW MY NOSE DECIDES TO BREAK BECAUSE OF A CHAIR?!?!?!

Posted at 5:03PM, Mar. 17, 2011

Well, the most stick out moment was probably when my Grandmother told me in a shopping centre that she thought Ghandi was "Evil" and a "Hethan". She also delcared that Aboriginal people of Australia should be forced to learn white ways.

Gotta love granny :/

Posted at 2:04AM, Apr. 6, 2011

I got something that was such an uber fail on my part recently. xD

Two nights before I got Featured, I was totally spazzed out and started jokingly submitting any drawings or doodles of the comic on this GMD group on dA.. I think I mighta been drunk, too.

"Man, you think anyone's gonna notice if I just posted my stuff there? Those guys like mice in clothing solvin'… solvin-y stuff, right?" I thought to myself. "Maybe they'll catch on considering the themes and, y'know… check it out."

So for about an hour I sent them maybe ten random pages, comic or otherwise, because dA's got that loophole where you don't technically need to be a member of the group to submit work. Sometimes you'll get a "pending" message, but otherwise it'll just automatically approve it. Can be virtually anything, I figured.

I came back to that site to see if they took it, and it looks like my guess was wrong. xD Nothing went in, and the place is active. Looked better than it did years ago, though. I woulda imagined it woulda went into the OC folder, if not a sub-section. Ah well.

Oh man, I dunno what I was thinking. I'm such an idiot. xD