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Mafia 8- The Battle for Hark's Soul! Official game thread of kick butt awesomeness!
D_Dude paced nervously around his room, wondering when the end would come…
Mean while, Hakoshen was busy sniffy out clues around the old abandoned windmill.
Suddenly a shadowy figure emerged behind him.
“Whose there?†shouted Hak “I smell danger!â€
“Your nasal senses are excellent†said the attacker mockingly “but they will not avail you now!â€
The figure lept forward, striking Hak with a flying kick that sent him stumbling back into the mill stones of the windmill.
“Looks like you don’t knows as much as you think Mr Nose!†gloated the attacker.
Hak realised he was caught at the meeting point of two stones.
There was a sickening crunch as he was drawn in, his flesh being crushed, the mill stones smashing his body to paste.
“I knew Hark was racist!†he called out in a final act of defiance “In his mind the black guy always dies first! ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!
HAKOSHEN THE ALL KNOWING GIANT FLYING NOSE (THAT CAN ALSO TALK) IS DEAD.
D_dude looked out of his curtains, when would the attackers strike?
Meanwhile, Crocty was enjoying polishing his top hat.
He had been enjoying another pleasant day of spreading love and joy around imaginary Townston.
Suddenly, there came a crash as a blue and white faced man in a skirt came flying through the window.
“Unicorns!†screamed the drunken Mel “Unicorns started all the wars in the world….ARE YOU A UNICORN?â€
Crocty turned to flee, but his attacker had an ace up his sleeve.
He pulled out an pistol from his sporran and opened fire.
In his drunken state the hail of bullets was highly inaccurate, but one of them caught crocty through the leg, shattering his thigh bone and sending him tumbling to the flaw.
A second bullet hit his shoulder, causing a spray of bright red blood across the floor.
Mel struggled to reload in his drunken state, but eventually managed to force in another clip.
As he did this the gun went off into the air, hitting the sealing fan.
The fan, still spinning, broke away from the ceiling and plunged down onto the prone crocty!
The propeller blades torn through him, sending torrents of gore splattering across the room.
“Yeah, and my friend says hi…†slurred the blood covered Mel as he stumbled out
CROCTY THE UNICORN OF WORLD PEACE IS DEAD
D_Dude could see sinister shadows closing in around him…
Else where in the city, Theorah began to cry, as she always did when she watched the end of the movie the Village.
Unlike most of the human race, she was not crying because she was upset at having wasted two hours of her life or at having paid money for this crap.
She was crying because the movie was the most unbelievably moving thing she had ever seen.
In her own mind she was truly the most visionary writer, director and all round human being who had ever lived.
And tonight she was going to go out and make them all pay! Yeah!
Starting with D_dude, whose failure to appreciate the work of genius that was Lady in the Water….oh and he was probably an ID and junk.
But then a dark shape moved in front of the screen.
“Down in front!†shouted Theorah “even the credits to this movie are brilliant, you ignorant…â€
Suddenly she realised who it was that was facing her.
A lethal monkey ninja, dressed in a blue uniform, holding a dead racoon in one hand and a medieval ball and chain in the other.
“I’m afraid the screen has been cancelled†said the attacker as he advanced “But there is still time for a twist ending! You see I like doing these things myself, but I like assisting a friend even more.â€
“A friend?†said Theorah “who do you…?â€
Just then, a colossal ginger bread arm smashed through the roof of the building, snatching up the would be visionairy director.
Theorah was held before the face of a giant ginger bread behemoth!
“No!†She pleaded “Don’t kill me! I admit it! My films have been stinkers since Unbreakable! I cant die this way! I always thought a killer tree would get me! NOOOOO!â€
But the gingerbread monster that had been summoned rammed M Night Shyamalan into its mouth and bit down with lethal sugary teeth, tearing through the directors abdomen and sending a torrent of blood and entrails down to the street bellow.
Theorahs ruptured digestive system spewed out human waste and bile as she thrashed around futilely.
A second bite smashed down on her chest with a grisly crunch, finally silencing her screams.
Its work done, the ginger bread giant crumbled into a bloody mound of tasty baked goods.
Of the attacker, there was no sign.
THEORAH THE M NIGHT SHYAMALAN IS DEAD!
D_dude felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck….he knew the end was near….
Mean while, Mel Gibson AKA the red baron was stumbling home, drunkenly singing his favourite Hitler youth ballads.
“They way I see things…†said a voice from the shadows “this situation is pretty black and white. You are an booze soaked, washed up actor who can’t keep his anti-semetic views to himself. Happy Hanukkah, baby!â€
“Nooooo!†squealed Mel, as the he felt the power of Eruption by Van Halen building against him “just make sure you bury my body in my homeland of Scotland…or is it Austrailia…or America…?â€
“England you say?†replied his attacker, “you say you want me to bury you in front of a synagogue in England?â€
“NNOOOOO! YOU WOULDN’T! ANYTHING BUT THAT!†responded Mel, just as the power chords tore through his rib cage.
A torrent of solid awesome tore into his body sending bloodied lumps of racist sushi spraying down the street.
“I always thought Danny Glover was better in lethal weapon anyway,†said the attacker as he departed.
THE2NDREDBARON THE MEL GIBSON IS DEAD!
Pastel felt a terrible pulse of evil energy run through her mind.
Even the power of Elvis was left weakened by this mental barrage!
The Robot gorilla brains evil powers were at work!
No doubt elsewhere in town, the sinister doctor gibbon was up to his usual tricks!
“Hmmm,†thought D_Dude, as the sun came up “I suppose that was a quiet night after all!â€
Hark awoke sweating in his bed, clutching the sheets in terror.
“Damn it! I need a lot more therapy!â€
(message me if I missed any actions there! That was BUSY!)
NIGHT 2 IS OVER!
DAY 3 HAS BEGUN!
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