Thread "The Laughing Joke Game!" in forum "MAFIA... and other forum games"

Posted at 2:08PM, Aug. 3, 2009

A black guy, a Jew and an Asian walk into a bar. The bartender says "Get the fuck out."

ALMOST got me!

Heaven is getting over-populated, so God decides to only let people who had a REALLY good reason in.
St Peter is standing at the gate when the first man walks up. "How did you die?"
"I thought that my wife was cheating on me, so I got home from work early and found my wife naked in bed. i searched the whole apartment but didn't find anyone. I went out onto the balcony of our 24th floor apartment and saw a man hanging from the balcony. I shoved him over, then, to make sure he was dead, I threw the refrigerator on him. Unfortunatly, I got caught onto the cord and flew over with it."
St Peter say, "It's a sin of love, so go on in." Then the next man comes up. "How did you die?"
"I was doing arobics on my 25th floor apartment balcony when I fell off. Luckily, I caught the balcony the next floor down. Then a maniac comes out and shoves me off, then throws a refrigorator on me!"
St Peter lets him in and thinks to himself, "Thing are getting interesting!" The next man comes out and St Peter askes, "How did you die?"
"Picture this, i'm hiding naked in a refrigerator…"

Posted at 9:08PM, Aug. 3, 2009

Blergness you will be taken down….

Digeridoos

Posted at 10:08PM, Aug. 4, 2009

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

Posted at 10:08PM, Aug. 4, 2009

Blergness you will be taken down….

Digeridoos

NO FAIR!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHA YOU'RE THE ONE PERSON WHO READS MY COMIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD
but yes, you win.

ps: I will now love you forever.

Posted at 10:08PM, Aug. 4, 2009

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".

Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".

The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick".

Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats".

On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using.

Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey.

Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!

Posted at 3:08PM, Aug. 7, 2009

pun attack!
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. Apparently the crews were marooned.
He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of your trouser leg and put it in a library' I thought 'hey now that's a turn up for the books.'
A good pun is it's own reword.

Posted at 4:08PM, Aug. 7, 2009

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of your trouser leg and put it in a library' I thought 'hey now that's a turn up for the books.'

I do not understand…..

2 men walk into a bar *thunk**thunk*

*rimshot*

Posted at 5:08PM, Aug. 7, 2009

a turn up is the bootom of a trouser leg which can be turned up.
…MORE PUNS!
The ashes of a famous general are due to be flown home for burial but it's discovered that all the airlines are fully booked. Eventually a helicopter is found to the urn home. Next day the newspapers read, 'The Whirley Bird Gets the Urn'.
Why was the Irish folksinger unable to perform? Because she'd left her harp in sam frank's disco.

Posted at 6:08PM, Aug. 7, 2009

OH! ok I get it now.

So a brunette is jumping on railroad tracks saying "41, 41, 41"
A blonde walks up to her and asks "What are you doing?"
The brunette continues, "41, 41, 41"
The blonde asks, "Can I join you?"
"41, 41, 41"
So the blonde jumps on the railroad tracks and starts jumping and saying, "41, 41, 41"
A train starts to come and the brunette jumps off the tracks, but the blonde continues to jump and say, "41, 41, 41"

Once the train passes the brunette gets back on the tracks, alone again, and says, "42, 42, 42"

Posted at 6:08PM, Aug. 7, 2009

A jew, a black man, and an asian walk into a bar and the bartender says "Get the fuck out!"

Posted at 9:08PM, Aug. 7, 2009

Dead baby jokes!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a porcha?
I don't have a porcha in my garage.

what's worst than a dead baby nailed to a tree?
a dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

how do you get a baby out of a blender?
with a straw.

what's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You don't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw.

….i hate dead baby jokes……..
I hate my friends.

Posted at 4:08AM, Aug. 8, 2009

A husband comes home from a long day of work to see his wife out front with some luggage in her hand. "Where the hell do you thing you're going?" said the husband. "Vegas" said the wife. "Why?" said the husband. "cuz I heard I can make $400 a night for what I give you for free"
the husband then ran passed her and went in the house only to come out with a suitcase himself.
"And where the hell do you think you're going?" said the wife. "Vegas" said the husband. "Why?" said the wife. "Because I wanna see how the fuck you're gonna survive off $800 a year!'

Posted at 7:08AM, Aug. 8, 2009

A husband comes home from a long day of work to see his wife out front with some luggage in her hand. "Where the hell do you thing you're going?" said the husband. "Vegas" said the wife. "Why?" said the husband. "cuz I heard I can make $400 a night for what I give you for free"
the husband then ran passed her and went in the house only to come out with a suitcase himself.
"And where the hell do you think you're going?" said the wife. "Vegas" said the husband. "Why?" said the wife. "Because I wanna see how the fuck you're gonna survive off $800 a year!'

HAHAHA I GET IT

uh…. penis.
that still makes people laugh, right?

Posted at 9:08AM, Aug. 8, 2009

Aw Shit…

Ghost Shit
That's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.

Clean Shit
The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Second Wave Shit
It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to shit some more.

Brain Hemorrage Shit
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " shit. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

Sweetcorn shit
Self Explanatory

Log shit
The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush

Drinkers shit
That is the kind of shit that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .

"Gee I wish I could shit" shit
Its the kind of shit where you want to shit, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.

that still makes people laugh, right?

Not so much

Posted at 9:08AM, Aug. 8, 2009

Dead baby jokes!

Dead baby jokes?

What's pink and red and is getting smaller by the minute?

A spastic child with a cheese grater.

(oh, and if it hadn't been for the fact that I've seen every lolrush joke under the sun, I would have lost on the first picture)

Also:

Posted at 9:08AM, Aug. 8, 2009

More Aw Shit…

Spinal Tap Shit
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Shit Also known as "The Power dump"
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

Liquid Shit
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

Mexican Food Shit
A class all its own

The Crowd Pleaser
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.

Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.

The Ritual
This shit occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper

Guiness Book of Records Shit
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations

The aftershock shit
This shit has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is effected.

The Honeymoons over shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.

Groaner
Ashit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance

Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushes

Posted at 5:08AM, Aug. 22, 2009

Deadbabyjoke.
What's worse than 7 babies in 7 garbage dumps?

1babyin7garbagedumps.

Posted at 7:05PM, May. 8, 2010

God damn it, Monkey…

Posted at 8:05PM, May. 8, 2010

Posted at 8:05AM, May. 9, 2010

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
-
Because he was stapled to the chicken.

——————————————————————————-

What's the difference between your girlfriend and a bucket full of crap?
-
The bucket.

——————————————————————————-

Three men are walking on the street when a genie appears. The genie says:
"Each one of you will get one wish."
The first man says:
"I wish for a giant castle to appear right here, filled with riches and beautiful women."
The second man says:
"I wish all the men on this planet would turn into women, except for us three."
After some careful thought the third man says:
"I wish I had a beer."

——————————————————————————-

If an elephant sits down on your dog, what time is it then?
-
Time to buy a new dog.

Posted at 1:05PM, May. 9, 2010

nuff said

Posted at 11:05PM, May. 10, 2010

How do you get a baby out of a blender?

-

With a straw.

—————————

Whats sadder than a dead baby?

-

A pile of dead babies!

—————————

Whats sadder than a pile of dead babies?

-

One still alive at the bottom.

—————————

Whats worse than one still being alive at the bottom?

-

It has to eat its way to the top.

—————————-

Whats worse?

-

He goes back for seconds.