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The Laughing Joke Game!
That made me laugh, nice one!A black guy, a Jew and an Asian walk into a bar. The bartender says "Get the fuck out."ALMOST got me!
Heaven is getting over-populated, so God decides to only let people who had a REALLY good reason in.
St Peter is standing at the gate when the first man walks up. "How did you die?"
"I thought that my wife was cheating on me, so I got home from work early and found my wife naked in bed. i searched the whole apartment but didn't find anyone. I went out onto the balcony of our 24th floor apartment and saw a man hanging from the balcony. I shoved him over, then, to make sure he was dead, I threw the refrigerator on him. Unfortunatly, I got caught onto the cord and flew over with it."
St Peter say, "It's a sin of love, so go on in." Then the next man comes up. "How did you die?"
"I was doing arobics on my 25th floor apartment balcony when I fell off. Luckily, I caught the balcony the next floor down. Then a maniac comes out and shoves me off, then throws a refrigorator on me!"
St Peter lets him in and thinks to himself, "Thing are getting interesting!" The next man comes out and St Peter askes, "How did you die?"
"Picture this, i'm hiding naked in a refrigerator…"
Q: How do detectives like their eggs?
A: Hard-Boiled.
Q: How do detectives like their eggs?
A: Hard-Boiled.
(Ooh, the pain!)
True story, just friggin happened to me.
I'm in the parking lot at Walmart after doing a little late night grocery shopping. Just as I'm about to start my truck an leave a woman approaches me. I figure she wants to use my cell phone or maybe she's a hooker, so I roll down the window. She gives me this sob story about her friend stranding her there and not having a way back home to Boston, blah, blah, blah. At this point I know she's a hooker, but I let her go through the spiel anyway. So it turns out she's desperate, she tells me "I'll give you the best head you ever had for 40$, which is half of what I usually charge."
Without missing a beat, I said "Oh, wow! Is that the rollback price?"
Without missing a beat, I said "Oh, wow! Is that the rollback price?"
Made me chuckle, I have had similar experiences by a local asda, the Uk leg of walmart, I will remember that one. I usually say you will have to pay me more than that love.
A blond goes for a pregnancy scan, and find out her baby will be a boy, and the doctor asks her if she knows what she will name it.
She answers 'yes, Dave, just like my seven other boys.' and the doctor asks her if this will be confusing.
So she tells him 'no, I just call them by their surname.
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