Thread "Tom Cruise is now Keanu Reeves" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 12:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

Tom Cruise hailed as 'Christ' of Scientology
10:00AM Thursday January 25, 2007

Tom Cruise has been hailed as the "Christ" of Scientology.

The actor, who is a devout follower of the religion, has been hailed by leaders of the faith as the "chosen one" who will spread the word.

High-ranking Scientologist David Miscavige is convinced Cruise, 44, will one day be worshipped like Jesus all over the world, becoming a prophet for the religion.

A source close to the actor is quoted by Britain's The Sun newspaper as saying: "Tom has been told he is Scientology's Christ-like figure. Just like Christ, he has been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right, just like Jesus."

Cruise, a top ranking Scientologist, joined the Church of Scientology in the mid-80s. His wife Katie Holmes has reportedly converted to the faith.

The religion's founder, American science fiction writer L Ron Hubbard, claimed that extra terrestrial beings were sent to planet Earth by intergalactic ruler Xenu, who then blew up the aliens with hydrogen bombs in a volcano.

- BANG! SHOWBIZ

i think his special prayer comes with couch jumping 3X

Posted at 1:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

Blark, more celeb news… Heh, maybe that is how Jesus started out? Not as a prophet with big ideas (or a born divine incarnation), but as simply a charismatic front-man for a new sect?

Posted at 1:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

the chosen "one"
the matrix

Posted at 1:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

So, hold up, does this mean we get to Martyrdize Tom Cruise?!

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. ;D

-W

Posted at 1:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

So wait. Maybe jesus also used to be a good actor, then went batshit insane.

Posted at 2:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

So, hold up, does this mean we get to Martyrdize Tom Cruise?!

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. ;D

-W

You hold him,i'll nail him to the cross.

Posted at 2:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

You hold him,i'll nail him to the cross.

Awwww MAN! I wanted to nail…hmmpf.

Shall we get to work? ;D

-W

Posted at 2:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

he wants to match up to the christ, i dont think the aliens would be that fussed to resurect him once his been crucified.

that aside dont the critics crucify his movie roles all the time?

Posted at 10:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

why are there so many people who believe shit like this? Tom Cruise as Jesus?! Things like this article make me want to hurl myself off a bridge…onto cars of course. I plan on going out with a bang.

Posted at 10:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

why are there so many people who believe shit like this?

Brainwashing and blackmail. Nothing more, nothing less.

Even at the very first meeting people have with Scientology (the so called personality test), they tell the people that not joining would be very much like comitting suicide or some other thing such as that.

Posted at 11:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

Well thats the most untutter bull.

Im up to the crucifing idear. ill bring the nail gun! >:)

Posted at 11:02PM, Feb. 23, 2007

Wow. Who would have thought scientology could get weirder.

Posted at 12:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

Wow. Who would have thought scientology could get weirder.

This isn't as wierd as the beliefs they already have. YOu simply CAN'T get any wierder than aliens using psychiatry to freeze people and then blow them up near volcanoes.

Posted at 12:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

Wow. Who would have thought scientology could get weirder.

This isn't as wierd as the beliefs they already have. YOu simply CAN'T get any wierder than aliens using psychiatry to freeze people and then blow them up near volcanoes.

lol o.o thats something new I learned today :s

Posted at 6:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

This isn't as wierd as the beliefs they already have. YOu simply CAN'T get any wierder than aliens using psychiatry to freeze people and then blow them up near volcanoes.

lol o.o thats something new I learned today :s

The sickening thing is it's even more insane when you actually read more of what they believe. The details are so fucking out there that it makes even the most improbable stories in Christianity, Islam, and whatever the fuck else you can think of look like totally normal everyday occurances!

For example, they believe that anyone who finds out about the aliens who were trapped on earth before they reach OT3 (Yes, they level up depending on how much money they give) will go crazy and die.

And guess what else? All those other religions were just illusions shown to the aliens' ghosts after they got blown up. HOW where they shown these? In big movie theaters with 3d fucking projectors!

Posted at 7:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

not to defend that "religion",
but unbelievable things happen in most holy stories

-a man walks on water
-a loaf of bread is divided to feed many
-a man comes back to life
-a man flew on a flying horse to heaven

i guess if they just replace the word "aliens" and made it into something like "light bearers" or "travelers"…they might sway people more to their cult

Posted at 7:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

What's more unbelievable? Alien overlords using psychiatry, Douglas DC-8s (I shit you not, that's what they claim was used), and 3d movie projectors to brainwash alien ghosts, or a dude coming back to life?

Posted at 7:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

The reason Christianity is less bogus is the fact that there is a God in it that can do that stuff. Scientology isn't a religion to me because they don't worship anything, it's more of a belief which makes us realize it's a scheme.

Posted at 9:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

Now, the thing about Scientology versus most religions is that most religions feature prominently a "God" of some sort. The God can have many features, but chief among them is that he exists, more or less, in a manner separate from our own. Essentially the ultimate "A Wizard Did It", God "works" simply because his machinations are beyond our scope of vision. If you try to explain God scientifically, the bottom comes out of the barrel, the cats get out of the bag, etc.

Scientology is fundamentally flawed, which is obvious by the haphazard almagamation of "science" and "theology" in the name itself. By simply giving too much explanation, the stories are too easy to scrutinize and can be easily disproven.

Posted at 10:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

It doesn't help their credibility that you have to PAY to get their 'salvation' (*coughbrainwashingcough*)

(totally hates scientology…)

Posted at 10:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

tom cruise ruin all the movies i've seen him in…

everytime i watch any of his movies i keep thinking how crazy he acts even though the movie is good and he is a good actor.

bastard

Posted at 10:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

It doesn't help their credibility that you have to PAY to get their 'salvation'

the catholic church used to do that with wealthy people.
in some instances that practice is still around today with "charaties."

Posted at 11:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

I hate a lot about a lot of religions, but Scientology is the only religion that I find no reedeeming factor in. The day that it becomes as widespread as Christianity is the day I lose all my faith in the human race.

Tom Cruise? Jesus? Are these people insane? Oh wait, stupid question…

Posted at 11:02AM, Feb. 24, 2007

It doesn't help their credibility that you have to PAY to get their 'salvation'

NOT SO!

It's a fun site. Check the whole thing out. The Amazing Randi is offering a cool million bucks to any Clear who can demonstrate Amazing Scientology Powers.

Posted at 12:02PM, Feb. 24, 2007

Didn't scientology start out as a fictional religion in a scifi book?