Thread "Professor Ozone and Dr Banes Bad Drawing Advice...?" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 10:11AM, Nov. 27, 2015

Now the easy part! Put clothes on your skickman!

Posted at 10:11AM, Nov. 27, 2015

When it comes to drawing faceis don't bother with eyes or noses there hard just draw teeth! Teeth are easy to draw!

Posted at 10:11AM, Nov. 27, 2015

Now I'm sorry but there's no way were going to have to draw hair on our stickman! But it's not all doom and gloom hair is a realy usefull way to cover up stuff like ears!

Posted at 10:11AM, Nov. 27, 2015

And your done!

*turns out that I'm the only person on the duck still doing stickman comics, how weard is that?

Posted at 6:11PM, Nov. 27, 2015

Tom, that is Awesome!!!
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My advice… Hmmm…
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If your art isn't getting noticed, try making it more more pornographic! Everybody really only loves sex in art, the more perverted the better, and quality really doesn't matter. If they claim to like stuff like conflict and plot they're lying in an attempt to appear wholesome and chaste. If you introduce pornographic scenes into your work, watch as your viewership increases exponentially, and then once you have the numbers you desire you can start working in your own ideas, increase your art quality, maybe introduce a little bit of drama and tension… just intersperse it amongst the sex scenes. Just remember, though, this extra stuff is really only for your own satisfaction. Nobody really wants to see it - they're just there for the porn. Don't lose sight of that - make sure you don't put too much of your 'novel ideas' in there.
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If you feel doing this is beneath you, that’s fine – but don’t get upset by fewer likes and comments. You have only yourself to blame by not doing everything you could!

Posted at 7:11AM, Nov. 28, 2015

Amazing drawings Tom!

Ears:
Ears are really damn hard to draw but you may have heard that they look like sea-shells. Remember that!
Next time you're stuck drawing ears, just draw a couple of clam shells on either side of the person's face and no one will know the difference!

Posted at 9:11PM, Nov. 28, 2015

Tips from an expert:

Start with the left foot in order to properly ground your drawing! Do the big toe first and then gradually work your way up the leg and the rest of the body from that point. End up with the big toe on the right foot. Only this way will your pic be in the correct proportions!

If one leg turns out longer than the other don't worry! All real people naturally have one leg longer than the other, sometimes by several feet, so you are actually making your art MORE realistic!

Don't worry about that old myth of measuring correct proportions with heads: it's all a lie! Leonardo da Vinci invented it because he had a sexual fetish for head. He loved head, some say TOO much…
Instead you should measure proportion entirely in penises. This is the only accurate method. The correct size for an adult human penis is 2.534 inches (erect). I know because I have measured it.

The average male arm is about 73.289 penis-lengths. This is an easy to remember standard and that is why it's SO useful!
Faces are about 5.67 penis-lengths long and 4.79 wide. See? EASY!
Boobs should always be 16.7 penis-lengths in diameter, so that they make a perfect sphere.
The average adult man is 52.5 penis-lengths tall. (Measure one and see for yourself)

These helpful proportion guides are all you will ever need to understand human anatomy.

Posted at 7:11AM, Nov. 29, 2015

Tips to become a good drawer:
1. You should only ever draw circles counter clockwise. This saves on pencil lead. The exception to this is bossoms: they should always be drawn clockwise because of tradition.

2. Art is sacred. After you finish a page your must yell "HA!" to scare the spirits of artist's block, then quickly stuff your page away in a shrine before the spirits see it. This will maintain your inspiration chi.

3. Blue pencils are bad luck.

4. Draw on the back side of your drawing board to get a new perspective on things.

5. Throw out your white soft erasers! ONLY ever use kneedable erasers. But first you must mold them into the shape of comical genitalia to prove to your drawing sensai that it is indeed a true kneedable eraser. Then bow.

6. A truly GOOD artist should really only draw with charcoal on giant sheets of very cheap, very thin paper. Make sure that by the end of the picture there is more charcoal on you than the page- this is vital.
Only this way can you find respect as a true artist.

Posted at 9:12AM, Dec. 4, 2015

Fingers are hard to draw so do everyone with either four fingers or as if the middle two fingers were glued together with Crazy Glue. The outer two fingers should be spread as far as posssible from the middle one(s) to show that you have mastered drawing fingers. Fists holding anything alway have the pinky pointing out.

Never bother with noses, a triangle or bump is just fine. Nostrils don't exist. Hair should always fall over the forehead so you never have to bother with eyebrows. Eyebrows are always moving so like you will NEVER get them in the right place or ever the right shape so everyone has bangs covering the forehead.

The upper lip doesn't exist unless the person has a huge overbite or is bow shaped for an ingenue. It will appear out of nowhere for anyone puckering for a kiss.

Swords should always be drawn larger than any scabbard the character may have. Feel free to leave the scabbards out and just have the sword appear from out of pocket or their clenched fist. Everyone should carry lots of grenades even if they never use them. They can run aournd screaming they're unarmed and still have grenades on their belt. Grenades are just eggs with crosshatching. There is no handle or pin and they stick to belts with glue and hang there just like boobs are always perfectly round. Guns have no actions or hammers and are just tubes or boxes. Just draw a box and a tube and some fists with pinkies pointing out. You can fire a huge machine gun one handed.

Posted at 8:12PM, Dec. 4, 2015

If you are drawing a romantic comic, or even a romantic scene within a comic, make sure to include at least one or two walruses. This is an old trick frequently used by early Renaissance painters.