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Moonlight meanderer
Comic Talk and General Discussion *

ASK BANES!

KimLuster
KimLuster
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Banes, what's your shoe size?

Bruno Harm
Bruno Harm
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Dear Banes,
If you were a character in an 80's sitcom, What would your catch phrase be?

bravo1102
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So with the orange fur you look like one of the guys from Earth Girls are Easy. Are you really from their planet and if we shaved you would we find Jim Carrey, Damon Wayons or Jeff Goldblum?


If it is a costume who are you hiding from and are you really the infamous father rapist mentioned in the song Alice's Restaurant?


And did anyone understand the obscure cultural references made in these questions?

Ironscarf
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Banes, can you help me? I've got an ongoing problem with my plums. They've been nibbled by squirrels in the past and I've even had a persistent fox chomping my low hangers, but the worst culprits by far are wood pigeons.

Every year I stand guard at an upstairs window with my super soaker, ready to squirt the blighters. This works for a while, but they always come back and I can't be there 24/7. My neighbour has suggested hanging a number of old CDs amidst my plums, to rattle and shimmer in the breeze, putting the wind up the feathered fiends, but which CDs? Nobody seems to know which genres or artists are most offensive to pigeons.

Ozoneocean
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You should swing your big hose at them Scarf! Give them a quick spray too.
Maybe hang a bell off the end? The bell end will discourage them, especially if you leave out that limp hose to dribble all over the place. That'll stop those pesky hairy blighters from tickling your plums.


Banes!
If you were in charge of DD how would you run it?
Off of diesel or nuclear? What's your stance on renewables?

Banes
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Hahaha! I can't believe there were responses to this! Thanks, y'all! And thanks for posting this, 'zone!

One of my unrealized dreams was to be an advice columnist…or to answer questions about myself. Potato/Tomato!

Lemme try this…



KimLuster wrote:
Banes, what's your shoe size?

Thanks for the first question, KL! There are two of them, I know that! I stick them outside the car door to slow down. This has burned them down to almost nothing, so I'm not sure about the size. 14A? 18A? Or are those Canadian movie ratings? Damn, these are tough questions!


Bruno Harm wrote:
Dear Banes,
If you were a character in an 80's sitcom, What would your catch phrase be?

Brilliant question! I think I'd take off my socks and wiggle my toes, whispering "you are all my children."

Or maybe "That's a spicy meat-a-ball!"


Kota wrote:
Banes, what's one story you wish you could tell in comic form but haven't had the chance? Is there a reason you haven't told it? Time? Money? Don't feel you're up to it?

Thanks, Kota! I have a horror story I'd love to do as a comic or maybe a film, but concerns about originality and getting a better ending have stalled things. My level of drawing talent gives me some doubts about the comic version. We'll see! Hopefully at some point I'll get on it!

There are a couple Typical Strange stories I've been poking at for quite awhile, including a "Prince and the Pauper" riff that I'll get to eventually, and a couple others that are waiting for me to finish up the scripts (and then draw the things). Also, the stories have to come at the right time, character-wise.

There are more, that I'm still trying to nail down, character and plot-wise…I guess the main holdup is time and a little nervousness/uncertainty about posting pages before I know at least roughly where they're going…

bravo1102 wrote:
So with the orange fur you look like one of the guys from Earth Girls are Easy. Are you really from their planet and if we shaved you would we find Jim Carrey, Damon Wayons or Jeff Goldblum?

If it is a costume who are you hiding from and are you really the infamous father rapist mentioned in the song Alice's Restaurant?

And did anyone understand the obscure cultural references made in these questions?

bravo, I like to think of myself as a Goldblum type, but I'm probably more of a Wayans/Carrey sort of clown. I'd shave it all away for Geena Davis, I'll tell ya that much.

You can get, anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant, excepting Alice…dee dee dee da da…


Ironscarf wrote:
Banes, can you help me? I've got an ongoing problem with my plums. They've been nibbled by squirrels in the past and I've even had a persistent fox chomping my low hangers, but the worst culprits by far are wood pigeons.

Every year I stand guard at an upstairs window with my super soaker, ready to squirt the blighters. This works for a while, but they always come back and I can't be there 24/7. My neighbour has suggested hanging a number of old CDs amidst my plums, to rattle and shimmer in the breeze, putting the wind up the feathered fiends, but which CDs? Nobody seems to know which genres or artists are most offensive to pigeons.

A perfect question! If you have anything by KISS (other than maybe Alive or
Alive 2, get 'em up there, sir!

And if you're speaking euphemistically, protect those plums by getting DRESSED before heading out to the garden! Are clothes uncomfortable? Of course! But the low hangers can be fragile, even for a tough chap like yourself!

I have plum trees too, by the way!

ozoneocean wrote:
Banes!
If you were in charge of DD how would you run it?
Off of diesel or nuclear? What's your stance on renewables?
It would all be paper mache and glue.

Ozoneocean
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ANSWER THE QUESTION Mr Banes! (If that IS even your real name…)
What IS your stance on Renewable energy??????

Just what are you hiding? What is it? What could it be, I wonder…

Banes
Banes
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Are you referring to my lavish speaking fees for the coal and shredded-paper-burning industries? How DARE you!

Gunwallace
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Dear Mr Banes,

    How many hats do you own? Where were you the day Kennedy was shot? What is the square root of love? If you could have any six people from history over for a dinner party who would they be? What would you serve? And how do you think the evening would go?

Ozoneocean
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Banes, as a life long, highly commted nudist and advocate of bottomlessness in general, how do you reconcile that with living in the cold white wastes of Canadia?

Bruno Harm
Bruno Harm
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Since Orange became the new Black, How much more do you feel your life is mattering?

bravo1102
bravo1102
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Viaduct, why not a chicken?
If Who gets injured, can What play first base?

Ozoneocean
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Who is Bravo and why did you quit drums?

Banes
Banes
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Thanks again for these asks, everybody! Tune in to the Quackcast tomorrow, Tuesday April 19th, for the rest of the answers, as well as alternate answers to the earlier questions!

It was a fun Quackcast to do (I didn't realize it would be devoted to these questions and my answers!

But if you want to find out what beloved celebrities would meet a gruesome fate at my house, and other various unrelated tales, tune on in!

KimLuster
KimLuster
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Well, there's a common belief (although not that common, obviously, as you guys didn't get it) that shoe size correlates with the size of another particular male anatomical feature… Oh well you guys did a good job making humor out of it anyway…!! (also, thought I commented about this on the front page of the quackcast - either I didn't and forgot or you guys thought it too risque and took it down ;))

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