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Moonlight meanderer

Dealing with delusional "grown ups" (Kind of vent)

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I got family members that hardcore "adults" of the 1950's ideal, no cartoons, no "cute" things, no toys, always drinking wine and go on and on about "real world" and "grow up and throw toys away", but whenever I talk about getting attacked or almost attacked on the streets during work, or bicycling they get worked up, start screaming some really racists stuffs, and I mean racist stuff, and some times does this, "if I was there, I would had roundhouse them in the throat", "I would carried a knife, hold it to their throat" and go into this weird fantasy about cops showing up and give a standing ovation or my personal favorite one, which requires some explaining as one day I was jumped by a gang of kids looking to kill, it didn't matter who it was they just wanted to beat someone to death, I manage to get out of there with just superficial cuts, later one I hear him going "I would blow them away with a gun." I want to respond that does not work in the actual world, not the fantasy "real world" he and other people live in, those hoods would had jumped me, let one of their own die as they grabbed the gun, killed me, gone and kill someone else too.

I know because about two or three weeks later they murdered a store keeper I knew personally, and it's suspected they got the gun from jumping someone else.

I don't know what I want to express in this post but I'm just frustrated with the "adults" I interact with, I want to grab them and make them listen to me. I want to scream watching cartoons, loving Sanrio, silly shirts and collecting actions does not make me a bad person, and wanting guns for murdering people, drinking wine all day and constantly screaming at the tops on their lungs about how they are going to N-word hunting whenever something goes wrong is not truly mature.

I want to explain we do not live in a Steven Segal Movie, weapons are not magic and in real street fights getting away with your life is better than "winning". A drunk group of hillbillies with AR-15 is not going to topple a government that has tanks, copters, stealth bombers, jet fighters, warships, humvees and nukes.

I don't know how to deal, if I could have moved out I would had a long time go but life is not a happy sitcom and right now I'm helping my family by doing house hold choirs as my mom does her job and not get anything, no dvds, no magazines, no toys, no fun at all… But he gets the wine, every day, it keeps him quiet.

I just posted because I need to vent something somewhere that means something, thank you for your time.

[EDIT: My computer jumped ahead of me and posted three to four times, sorry about that.

DOUBLE EDIT: Sorry for flooding the forums, I hopefully deleted the extra post, again, so sorry about that.]

hushicho
hushicho
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I want to say so many things, but I think the most concise thing I can say in support is this: WORD.

This is the situation I think a lot of people find themselves in. It's people like the "adults" you describe, who aren't really adults – they are selfish children who are just of advanced age. They aren't adults, because adults should be more concerned about the welfare of others and not just themselves or their tiny, limited social group. That's how society even continues and functions; we have to be more concerned about the welfare of others.

And you're so right about them trying to shit on other people's joy and the things that bring them joy. Who cares if you have a bunch of toys? If they bring you happiness, you should have them. Just because these self-proclaimed "adults" lead joyless existences based primarily around causing misery and misfortune to others, that doesn't mean everyone should do that. In fact, them doing it is wrong, so no one should do it in the first place!

It's as much a disease as the plague currently ravaging the world…largely because of these same idiots. I am glad to see people finally recognizing this toxic behavior for what it is and, where possible, minimizing these people's parts in their lives, if not cutting them out entirely. Life is too fragile and too short, and it is too late in the proverbial day, to have people like that in our lives, and to support them and what they do in any way. That is true evil – it's laziness and fear, governing every aspect of life and creeping its way insidiously out to ruin as much as it can.

I wish you good luck and hope you'll take care. These people are delusional, you are completely correct. What's more, they're harmful and must be opposed in any way we can. The world is not going to survive, with people like that guiding it. We are in a situation so much like the cartoons, video games, and movies we grew up with that it's almost too real to watch any of them now. We are literally in a situation where villains have seized power and are enabling their own. We have to stand against that, no matter what. Before it becomes too too late.

You're not alone in this. I hope for us all to reach at least some light at the end of this long tunnel.

Ozoneocean
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They're too busy playing with the action figures in their heads…
You're right, real life can be painful and harsh, there are no special ways to deal with it. They're "privilaged", i.e. not having to deal with those situations and therefore not understanding the reality of them so the things they say are based on imagination.

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@Furwerk studio, after growing up in a military town and then moving to one of the most diverse cities in the world (eventually working in neighborhoods with some of the most notorious gangs) I learned how to use my eyes and my ears to make decisions on the way I choose to see the world.

We can not select our family members, they are here to stay, but we can change how we react to them whenever they bring conflicting ideologies to the table. Know your own perspective, have you own interests that are your own. Continue to unsubscribe from the rabble and, eventually, you will be surrounded by people who share similar beliefs to your own whether it is in a larger city. Most of the time, changing your own environment helps ground your perspective in your own beliefs.

Sanrio rocks. Cartoons are awesome. Silly shirts make the whole world go 'round.

bravo1102
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Distance yourself from toxic people and set clear boundaries. Express needs wants and desires clearly and firmly using "I" statements.
There are skills in dealing with others to keep yourself outside of their toxic life patterns. Tell yourself that they have a right to cry, bitch, moan and complain and you have a right not to listen.
You are the most important person in your life and take care of you.

As for shirts? Kimo's Hawaiian rules: "Speak softly and wear a loud shirt"

No rain, no rainbows.

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Moonlight meanderer

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