Set the a-hole on fire. Always makes me feel much better.Eat a really hot curry you mean? :)
Yeah, I suppose that could be a distraction…
No, I mean I stick a lighter up my ex's…you know.
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Comic Talk and General Discussion *
Breakup Therapy
I started a comic. lol!
I'm in the boat with VegaX and skool though. The worst breakups are those in which you allow it to get dragged out and don't end it quickly. Whatever it is you do, the two things you have to make sure of is that it's completely over and you're not going to keep reopening old emotions and wounds and learn to forgive them. I never quite understood the second one until recently a year after me and my ex-"fiancee" ( I choose not to think of it as a real engagement since those are supposed to succeed. ) broke apart. you don't necessarily have to forgive them in the conventional sense of the word, but you have to accept that they did what they felt was in their best interest and do what you know is in yours, namely moving on to bigger and better things. It was helpful to me to think of all the progress in my work and career I've made since I finally got rid of her.
I personally would not advocate the shotgun approach right after a break up though. It's kind of like drinking while depressed, it has a bad tendency to end up causing you more trouble and problems in the end than it's worth.
Everything before a break up had much to do with your investment in someone else or investing time as a couple, and not much time really investing in yourself which is why you hear so many, "I can't go on without you" songs. Ewww!
If you fell hard for that other person, there's a good chance that's the case. Once you break up, you're now left with trying to fill that time with something else. You'll go through those initial grief stages, just like anything else: Denial, anger, depression, bargaining your way back into the relationship, until you reach acceptance.
Once you get there, you'll need to start investing time in yourself. Many people here have used writing or drawing as a method, I like the humanitarian approach of helping others in need or in a worse place than you. Exercise is also a good one because the chemicals you produce while working out act as a natural anti-depressant. Plus, it keeps you healthy, strong and looking great XD!
Finally, whether you believe in this sort of thing or not, its good to re-connect yourself spiritually. Whether you're Catholic, Baptist, Agnostic or even something simple as doing yoga, your soul needs to be feed positive enegry and thus, your heart will be healed.
It's all what you do in the time after you break up that counts. Take things one day at a time, move forward, breathe and think positive.
There's nothing macho about it. It's just life and the way things are.Whatever floats your boat man, but i can't help but feel if you can just drop it that easily it wasn't much to begin with? If you don't feel sad and miss someone you loved to hang around with and talk to it's pretty odd. Unless your actually a robot or Mr Spock. :)
Change "fry" to a "glass of milk" if you prefer if it helps you understand.
Perhaps one day you'll meet that special someone that makes you a little bit more human. Someone that makes you go all depressed when you break up. Something to look forward to eh? ;)
There's nothing macho about it. It's just life and the way things are.Whatever floats your boat man, but i can't help but feel if you can just drop it that easily it wasn't much to begin with? If you don't feel sad and miss someone you loved to hang around with and talk to it's pretty odd. Unless your actually a robot or Mr Spock. :)
Change "fry" to a "glass of milk" if you prefer if it helps you understand.
Perhaps one day you'll meet that special someone that makes you a little bit more human. Someone that makes you go all depressed when you break up. Something to look forward to eh? ;)
I don't really think its his fault for being a "robot". He is one of many countless victims.
You see, thats the kind of PROGRAMMING (aka brainwashing) that is being given to society. To be robotic and superficial.
You are not encouraged to be a deep thinker. It is uncool if you are into reading stuff and actually trying to increase your I.Q. You SHOULD ONLY KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT NONSENSE CRAP AND NOT TOTALLY CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT, OR POLITICS, OR YOUR NEIGHBOR OR ANYTHING ELSE!!! Just sit there and be totally mesmerized by that box in the living room. Let that thing do the thinking for you. Thinking is too troublesome and takes too much effort. Just escape reality. Its all gonna be fine. There's nothing to worry about. Just be confined in your little box. Don't care about anything. Yeah! If you don't give a fuck you're "cool".
You are not encouraged to get married and settle down and LOVE. You are encouraged to be gangstas and hoes in this society and HATE. That it is frustrating and saddening.
The breakup of the family is part of the agenda.
Notice how it is encouraged to rebel against your parents but embrace Big Brother at the same time?
Notice how woman is encouraged to be a total bitch in a relationship? So that man would say "I had enough! I had it with women! Women suck!!! They're all manipulative whores!!!" Then the disheartened men would create a subculture of their own that consists of players and simply men who just had it with women. Then it re-feeds the cycle as those players go out to break more hearts and turn women into coldhearted bitches who say "I had enough! I had it with men! Men suck!!! Why are all the good men gay or just taken?!? Men are evil!!!"
Its a self-sustaining cycle. Designed to break up the traditional family.
AND IT IS THE WORK OF PURE SATANIC EVIL FROM THE BOTTOM PITS OF HELL!!!
Omg… sorry for the rant, guys. Threads like this kind of frustrate me as it reminds me of the reality we face. :(
Sometimes kyupol is too strange for me to actually believe he's real.
You needs to calm down. Some things are just things, not giant conspiracies.
Notice how it is encouraged to rebel against your parents but embrace Big Brother at the same time?
First of all, it is mostly teenagers who rebel against their parents, and no one encourages them except each other.
Second, Big Brother is fictional. I'm assuming you mean it to be a metaphor, but I'm not exactly who or what, in this case, your are referring to as Big Brother. Do you mean the government? Because the same kids who rebel against their parents certainly do not embrace the government.
Sometimes kyupol is too strange for me to actually believe he's real.
You needs to calm down. Some things are just things, not giant conspiracies.Notice how it is encouraged to rebel against your parents but embrace Big Brother at the same time?
First of all, it is mostly teenagers who rebel against their parents, and no one encourages them except each other.
Second, Big Brother is fictional. I'm assuming you mean it to be a metaphor, but I'm not exactly who or what, in this case, your are referring to as Big Brother. Do you mean the government? Because the same kids who rebel against their parents certainly do not embrace the government.
I understand.
Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction. I shouldnt have taken that red pill. :)
"Thinking, bad habit and hard to break. Try long walks and cold showers."
Just being able to walk away from a relationship and not feeling and saying "Fuck it, drive on" is often refered to as compartmentalization. You put your hurt into a little box, lock it up, throw it away and move on.
People who can do that often can have all those little boxes show up at once, pop open and that can really ruin their day/week/month/life.
In the end it's your choice and every person is different. I hurt and wait for my heart to grow back, others lock their hurt away and shrug. Some people never forget and get obsessed.
"If you love something let it go if it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. "
Though there have been times …
hunt it down and kill it.
i drink a lot and don't eat, until my health starts to get noticeably bad and i have to stop drinking and start eating again, and i'm basically worse off than when i started, haha…
i'm still in it. partly because SHE WON'T STOP CALLING ME. and i'm just not strong enough to tell her to fuck off yet. honestly i think having a daily webcomic has helped a great deal to keep my sanity, because it's probably the one thing i've tried to keep up on. i'm sure this attitude will spread to other things eventually, and i already see things getting sliiiightly better here and there, but shit's still pretty gay.
i'm still in it. partly because SHE WON'T STOP CALLING ME. and i'm just not strong enough to tell her to fuck off yet.
It sounds like some part of you still thinks you're benefiting from having contact with her. It's pretty easy to get rid of a person you really want fuck-all to do with.
i always find myself just really getting into a videogame or playing music, generally stuff to take my mind off of it all. Working alot helps to.
I've never found going out that night or the night after to 'get back on the horse' helps that much, infact i found it made it worse.
i always find myself just really getting into a videogame or playing music, generally stuff to take my mind off of it all. Working alot helps to.
I've never found going out that night or the night after to 'get back on the horse' helps that much, infact i found it made it worse.
I agree with that completely. I tried that and it sucked…so I went to my grandparents and made cookies…also good therapy.
I agree with that completely. I tried that and it sucked…so I went to my grandparents and made cookies…also good therapy.
I think gramps is still pissed at you for that. You made like 134912351235 billion batches. They were yummy though. Maybe you should be in sucky relationships more often
HA! Joke! Don't murder me! *flees*
Therapy.
I'm not going to go off on how I "react" to a break up emotionally and such, but I'll say what I do that helps me get back to a normal level of confidence and to a decent acceptance of singleness.
I dye my hair. Orange? Red? Pink? Brown? I'm normally a light brown/blond chic, so the change is kinda fun. The guy liked a blond and I'll just be something different. Spite? Eh… I think I just feel happier looking different than how he knew me.
Party. Being around other people a lot really helps me not feel alone. Parties are more fun that just social groups because parties have such a happy atmosphere and there's a better potential for avoiding thinking or whining about how sad I might be.
Sleep with someone else. Spite. Sucker.
Well, that's a good way to start therapy and potentially a new relationship. Mmmn cookies. :kitty:
At least, if other guys are as easily baited as I am…
My mother said if I made real food like pasta or even sandwiches, my male friends would love me more….she said cookies don't mean as much to them as things they can make a meal out of.
[quote="worstcase']
I think gramps is still pissed at you for that. You made like 134912351235 billion batches. They were yummy though. Maybe you should be in sucky relationships more often
[/quote]
Gramps liked my cookies …I think.
My mother said if I made real food like pasta or even sandwiches, my male friends would love me more….she said cookies don't mean as much to them as things they can make a meal out of.That just sounds like a good way to get every guy in the neighborhood to crowd around your house like lions at the zoo feeding time.
I myself would be absolutely ecstatic to be given any food by a girl. But then, cookies are my favorite treat and after learning I tend to make more biological weapons with a stove than actual food, I'm not picky if a girl is offering. Every guy has one food that is more appealing to him than anything else on earth.
Nothing says, "I like you" quite like handing a guy a plate of his favorite food. It's possibly one of the only cues we truly understand. We're dumb like that.
edit: Since I'm kind of playing a slightly less active role around the forums, you can catch me on AIM at mouichidou. I'm trying to avoid derailing everyone's threads here with the few posts I am making right now.
I've been married for 13 years and before that was engaged for 2.5 years to the woman who did become my wife. But prior to that, I went through the cycle of short romances with painful breakups.
As a general rule, someone told me once that it takes about half the time you were in the relationship to get over the relationship. And generally-speaking, they were right. At least, that was my experience.
The breakup of my first love especially devastated me and I decided to deal with it by going into therapy. That actually was not a bad decision for me. It's probably not an answer for everybody, and it depends on how complex the issues of the relationship are (I won't bother you with details of a 19-year old dating relationship that lasted six months). For other relationships, it just took time, allowing myself to "grieve" that relationship, and eventually move on. I wrote music, threw myself into comics and generally tried to keep myself busy.
I work out. I play video games, I cook, and I become incredibly active. I do anything I can to make sure that at the end of the day when I go to bed, I'm asleep before I even hit the pillow. If I'm not, then I just sit there brooding, and it's bad times.
Another good trick is to surround yourself with the people who you know who like you for you. You don't need them there to be like, "Oh, she was wrong," or "Oh, you'll find another." because we all know that deep down inside. All you need is the company, even if it's watching the worlds worst movies.
Also for the cooking thing? Yeah, totally the way to a dudes heart. Even the slightest tasty tidbit, something that says 'thinking of you' is a surefire winner.
Also, pie after midnight is the single greatest thing ever.
-W
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