Thread "Corrupt-a-wish" in forum "MAFIA... and other forum games"

Posted at 8:07PM, Jul. 25, 2010

Granted. I take a shower, but through an ironic twist, the city plumbing sends the drain water from my shower into your apartment. The next time you turn on your shower, you're blasted by dirty panda-stank water.

I wish I had a copy of Tekken 6.

Posted at 3:07AM, Jul. 26, 2010

Granted, unfortunately, just like all those crazy-right-wing-nut-job-Christian-extremists predicted, all that violence influences you into murdering like a billion people, you get sent to jail. It gets worse when they accidentally send you to panda jail instead of people jail. Oh oh, you see where it goes from here.

I wish that my toast was less burnt.

Posted at 10:07AM, Jul. 26, 2010

Granted. It's less burnt than charcoal, but only a little less.

I wish I was proficient at Blender (program not appliance)

Posted at 11:07AM, Jul. 26, 2010

Granted, but somehow you can only make a blender… in Blender… and nothing else.

I wish there was something to get that panda-stank off of me. Regular ol' body wash ain't working!

Posted at 1:07PM, Jul. 26, 2010

Granted. You bathe with a bottle of Liquid Heat. Now your most sensitive areas are burning in searing, agonizing pain, but at least you don't smell like panda any more.

I wish I had something with which to fight off all these pandas in this jail.

Posted at 8:07AM, Jul. 27, 2010

Granted. You get a female panda outfite with rear access. Lets just say they wont want to maul you anymore.

I wish the worst thing in the world happened.

Posted at 8:07AM, Jul. 27, 2010

It happened. but 1337 laughed at it.

I wish my headache would go away.

Posted at 10:07AM, Jul. 27, 2010

Granted. It's now replaced with excruciating pain over the rest of your body, but you no longer have a head ache.

I wish TFGM would log on.

Posted at 11:07AM, Jul. 27, 2010

Granted. But he gets in an arguement with PP and doesnt talk to anyone else.

I wish i had my own sitcom.

Posted at 12:07AM, Jul. 29, 2010

Granted. You get Two and a Half Men, enjoy.

I wish I wasn't so depressed.

Posted at 9:07PM, Jul. 30, 2010

Granted, but all that overflowing happiness makes you so high on endorphins, you don't realize that your heart explodes from the constant state of happiness.

I wish for a cup of water.

Posted at 7:07AM, Jul. 31, 2010

You drown in it.

I wish I had the power to control people's minds.

Posted at 4:07PM, Jul. 31, 2010

Granted. You also have to hear what they think when you control them, the constant barrage of inaneness drives you to suicide.

I wish for an apple pie.

Posted at 4:07PM, Jul. 31, 2010

Granted. One road apple pie coming right up

I wish I had a cup of coffee

Posted at 6:07PM, Jul. 31, 2010

Granted. But it's a large cup of mega-caffeinated kava. The ungodly amount of caffeine gives you massive hypertension and causes your heart to explode.

I wish I was better at Tekken 6.

Posted at 10:07PM, Jul. 31, 2010

Your wish is granted…congrats…it took you 50 years and thousands of hours to become the best at that game. meanwhile your grandchildren are beating your ass at tekken 15

I wish I had a higher intellect

Posted at 8:08AM, Aug. 1, 2010

You suddenly become ridiculously smart, all the knowledge in the universe begins to collect in your brain. Unfortunately for you, the part of your brain that holds knowledge can't actually hold that much information and it overflows into other parts of your brain like your emotion centre and the parts of your brain that controls movement and speech. You basically become and all knowing vegetable trapped inside your infinite wisdom.

I wish for rocket shoes.

Posted at 9:08AM, Aug. 1, 2010

Granted> You make the news under the headline "Wile E. Coyote wannabe dies from exploding shoes."

I wish I had a sandvich.

Posted at 2:08PM, Aug. 1, 2010

Granted. as you go driving down the road you get sandwiched between two fast traveling semi trucks.

I wish for more wishes.

Posted at 4:08PM, Aug. 1, 2010

Granted, each wish is given in exchange for five nines of you remaining life span.

Note: five nines= 99.999%

I wish I had a savings account with five nines interest.

Posted at 10:08AM, Aug. 2, 2010

Granted, but you have no money to put in there in the first place, making it moot. Not to mention that it doesn't look good on your credit report and the bank has to close it anyways.

I wish Sarah Palin would just kill herself and get it over with.

Posted at 2:08PM, Aug. 2, 2010

Granted, but first she unleashes Alaska's nuclear payload in the artic, so a army of pissed off baby seals eat you alive.

I wish that the next wish won't make anything bad happen to me.

Posted at 6:08PM, Aug. 2, 2010

Granted. But this brings the game to a screeching halt and creates a paradox, opening up a rift in time and space. Eldritch beings far beyond the comprehesion of man come spewing out, smashing buildings and devouring people until the entire earth is consumed. They then proceed to consume other, neighboring planets, and branch out at an exponential rate until they've devoured all matter in the universe, thus bringing about the End of All Things.

I wish the employers I sent resumes to would call back already.

Posted at 11:08PM, Aug. 2, 2010

They do, but it's a prank call.

I wish for an infinite supply of monster energy drinks.

Posted at 12:08AM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted, they're all flat and energy-less.

I wish I had a magical prettyful sparkly pixie unicorn from rainbow land.