Thread "Corrupt-a-wish" in forum "MAFIA... and other forum games"

Posted at 12:08AM, Aug. 3, 2010

Magical pretty sparkly unicorns from rainbow land are actually incredibly violent and territorial creatures. One of them magically appears next to you and then skewers you with its horn.

I wish for really nice pen.

Posted at 1:08AM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted. But the only ink it works with is the blood of dead infants.

I wish I could get some sleep.

Posted at 3:08AM, Aug. 3, 2010

You fall into a deep sleep, only to ever be woken by true love's kiss. You never wake up.

I wish I had more dead-baby ink for my rad pen.

Posted at 8:08AM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted, Your arrested for infanticide. And you also managed to summon demons and monsters…nice job breaking it hero.

I wish I know Python.

Posted at 3:08PM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted. But this is the only Python song you know, and it's now playing through your head for all eternity.

I wish Cthulhu would leave me alone.

Posted at 3:08PM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted, but he's not dead. So, not good.

I'm bringing about 10 people over from another site here for mafia games! I hope the site survives! Oh, I mean, I wish the site survives.

Posted at 4:08PM, Aug. 3, 2010

Your wish is granted! The site survives. I just wish I could say the same for the people who use it.

I wish I could think of an uncorruptable wish.

Posted at 4:08PM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted, but you suffer a head injury that makes you forget everything that lead to that wish and half of them were once in a lifetime events.

I wish we had FTL already.

Posted at 7:08PM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted. Unfortunately, no one can control the Flying Tyrannosaurus League leading to the destruction of all humans.

I wish everything good about life would go horribly wrong for me.

Posted at 8:08PM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted. You switch your life with mine.

I wish my life didn't suck so much.

Posted at 9:08PM, Aug. 3, 2010

Granted, you are now a vacuum, which sucks slightly less then your previous life.

I wish for Kombat Kubs to win "Best Deliciously Offensive".

Posted at 5:08AM, Aug. 4, 2010

Granted. But in order to qualify the comic had to be eaten by the server.

I wish I hadn't gained 6 pounds that I had lost.

Posted at 5:08PM, Aug. 6, 2010

Granted. You have a friend perform impromptu liposuction on you in his garage, but he botches the surgery and you die of blood loss.

I wish I didn't have to pay back my student loans after I graduate.

Posted at 5:08PM, Aug. 6, 2010

Granted. Thanks to a goof up at the bank, you now have to pay back all the damages that BP now owes. BP just has to pay back your student loans, and no, the bank will not and cannot correct this grave error.

I wish I was better at using my tablet.

Posted at 6:08PM, Aug. 6, 2010

Granted. You then go on to draw an amazing masterpiece in photoshop. But before you can save any of it, a freak electrical storm comes through and causes a power-surge, frying your computer and your tablet. The current then jumps from the tablet to the stylus and then through your hand and throughout your body, fatally electrocuting you.

I wish I could hurry up and move into my new apartment.

Posted at 12:08PM, Aug. 7, 2010

Granted. The apartment building is a death trap due to cut corners, shoddy workmanship and half a dozen other problems, but, hey, you can move in early.

I wish the teacher for figure drawing would hurry up and post what we need for the class on the Supe Store's website.

Posted at 10:08PM, Aug. 8, 2010

Granted. the incredible hulk smashes through your wall, and in a fit of blind rage grabs you and throws you high into the air. You happen to land right on top of your new residence. you smash through the roof landing on the floor broken and bloody.

I wish I was the hero of a Disney movie. nothing bad ever happens to the hero of a Disney movie.

Posted at 11:08PM, Aug. 9, 2010

Granted. You're the hero in The Frog Prince. You're safe, but you and your movie are absolutely reviled by Disney movie-goers everywhere.

I wish the package I ordered from Barnes & Nobles would hurry up and get here.

Posted at 1:08AM, Aug. 15, 2010

It does. Unfortunately It's not what you ordered.
(It's a bomb)

Scratch that, I got a better one.

The parcel does exactly what you wished, it gets to you a lot faster. It flies out of the store, across streets, through buildings, in a direct path to you. It crashes through your door, it crashes through walls and everything in its way until it hits you right in your chest, killing you instantly.

I wish I could speak all languages fluently.

Posted at 2:08AM, Aug. 15, 2010

Granted. You are then able to tour the world at leisure, being able to speak any language in any country. However, after a visit to Moscow, you draw the attention of both the CIA and the FSB. Both the U.S. and Russian governments then assume that your a spy in their country, which leads to political discontent between the two countries and eventually sparks an all out nuclear war that decimates the entire planet, exterminating the human race.

I wish I had my Master's Degree in Entomology already.

(P.S. The package finally got here. According to the online tracking it was sitting in a shipping center in Oklahoma for nearly a week for some reason).

Posted at 10:08PM, Aug. 15, 2010

Granted, but all the jobs you apply for require 20 years. of Entomology work experience.

I wish I could play the bass guitar as well as I can draw.

Posted at 2:08AM, Aug. 16, 2010

Granted, your drawing skills suddenly turn to crap.

I wish I had three more months of vacation time.

Posted at 1:08PM, Aug. 16, 2010

Granted. You lose your job- now you have all the vacation time you could want.

I wish the new DLC expansion for Borderlands was available already.

Posted at 11:08PM, Aug. 16, 2010

Granted. The graphics are unfinished as well as the fact that they decided to release it without proper beta testing. now because of you, the company that made the game went out of business because it turns out that they were riding primarily on the project.

I wish I had a completely brand new sterilized salt shaker filled with premium sea salt and nothing else.

Posted at 7:08PM, Aug. 18, 2010

Granted. It was irradiated before coming to you. You are exposed to triple the lethal dose of radiation.