Thread "How will this kill me?" in forum "MAFIA... and other forum games"

Posted at 10:05AM, May. 27, 2006

Put the CD in your ye olde walkman. You crank up the volume to the max and listen to "Dance, Dance". You walk down the street, humming to the song. Then the Incredible Hulk, who does not agree with the music you like, runs you over with a saloon and then stabs you with a Starbucks CafÃ©.

Object: Cup of Soup.

Posted at 1:05PM, May. 27, 2006

You got the soup from a vending machine, however prior to this while the vending machine was being serviced by a certified vending machine technican nearby by unknown means a portal into a dark and ancient realm was opened and a gigantic best of pure evil emerged, the brave technican took up his spanner and fought the beast to his very last, but it was too strong, so as his last resort he used an ancient technique he learned from the master vending machine technican at the summit of mount Vendal in the great land of Vendor. The best was destroyed utterly, but at great cost, the last of our hero's life force was drained away.

However.
Due to the sudden appearence of the demon the vending machine was never properly serviced. A loose bolt falls into your soup, when you drink it you choke and die.

Object: David blaine

Posted at 2:05PM, May. 27, 2006

You mail order a David Blaine, but instead you get a David Bowy. When you go to ask if you could get your David Blaine back, David Bowy get's pissed off at you and shoots you in the head.

Object: An apple a day.

Posted at 2:05PM, May. 27, 2006

Suddenly, 35600 apples fall from the sky and crush you.

Object: A cheese-poof.

Posted at 4:05PM, May. 30, 2006

You choke on it, and when someone comes behind you to give you the Heimlich manuver, they accidentally break a few of your ribs. The pain of healing is so unbearable that you try to commit suicide by jumping off of a building, which doesn't kill you, it leaves you paralyzed and in a wheelchair for life. In the end you're killed by….being pushed down the stairs.

Object: A Deck of Magic the Gathering cards.

Posted at 9:05PM, May. 30, 2006

May I be the first to say: "ew"

And as far as dying…. You'd be hung by the person whose lingerie you stole.

Object: A bottle of Deodorant

Posted at 9:05PM, May. 30, 2006

After thousands of years living in somebody's armpit, you are crushed by an incoming bar of deoderant.

Object: A cross-dress prostitute.

Posted at 2:05AM, May. 31, 2006

Stain thinks he's taking home an atractive young homosexual man for some happy-bum-fun… But as soon as they walk into a shadow the drag-king reveals herself and kills him in the name of radical millitant feminism!

Object: a non-functioning network printer.

Posted at 3:05AM, May. 31, 2006

Go get angry as you were to print a 32 page essay that would secure you an A+. You punch it and all of the sudden, it works. Overtime. It shoots out paper like ninja stars. Unfortunately, you get caught in the crossfire.

Snowglobe.

Posted at 9:05AM, May. 31, 2006

You see a pretty snowglobe and shake it dislocating your arm. In the process you drop the globe on your foot causing you to fall sideways. Then an old woman runs over your head with a shopping cart.

bug zapper

Posted at 1:06PM, Jun. 2, 2006

get drunk, REALLY drunk, cover your hand in in mountain dew, let it dry, stick Pop rocks all over your sticky hand touch the bug zapper. Shock forces your to trip over the wire and run your head through an electric outlet. You pronounced dead because of cancer.

Coconut monkey

Posted at 7:06PM, Jun. 2, 2006

get drunk, REALLY drunk, cover your hand in in mountain dew, let it dry, stick Pop rocks all over your sticky hand touch the bug zapper. Shock forces your to trip over the wire and run your head through an electric outlet. You pronounced dead because of cancer.

Object: The Dragon's Tear.

Posted at 8:06PM, Jun. 2, 2006

Someone stole the Dragon Tear from Valerie, you set out on an adventure with your best friend, called Jack. during all your adventures to get it back. You start to realize that nothing is what it seems, Jack's plans to get the Tear back start to go strange, into place you don't agree with, after a while you realize Jack was only you, you stole the Dragon Tear. At a showdown in an office buliding where the Dragon's Tear is said to be kept, you and Jack face off, you tell him he doesn't exist, weird David Lynch movie-type dialouge follows between you and Jack, after a fight, you shoot yourself in the head, finally killing Jack.

Your found dead the next morning, by your game console. The police report stated that you started to play Breath of Fire 2, after 3 days of playing non stop, you developed your own world, your one society. You became one and you become nothing, your mind deformed. You shoot yourself, The lack of sleep killed you.

Object: Yes's Tales from Topographic Oceans, Disc 1 and Disc 2

.: Myxomatosis :.

Posted at 3:06AM, Jun. 3, 2006

Apparently you cant eat CDs, nobody told YOU that.

Jon snow (the Channel 4 news presenter)

Posted at 11:06AM, Jun. 3, 2006

A horrible factory explosion in New York sends about a million Basketballs in to space. You are walking on the street when out of nowhere, you are crushed by millions and millions of Spaceballs.

Object: Small font.

.: Myxomatosis :.

Posted at 1:06PM, Jun. 5, 2006

Umm… a monkey….would…use it to shoot you in the head…. with an arrow full of were-monkey serum…. turning you into a were-monkey. During the light of a full moon, you turn into a monkey and attack the local 18th-century village… and you get banged in the head by a silver frying pan which cracks your head open and you bleed to death.

Object: A drumstick (take that into any definition you feel like using)

Posted at 2:06PM, Jun. 5, 2006

You decide to eat the drumstick. The CHICKEN drumstick. Being rather cocky, you decide to swallow it whole to impress your spouse and friends. Unfortunately, the chicken is still attatched (and very much alive, come to think of it). You manage to eat the chicken, but not before it has laid several little eggs in your stomach which later hatch. BAM! Chestburster chickens.

Object: A Red and shiny graphics tablet.

Posted at 10:06AM, Jun. 6, 2006

You are getting ready to draw on your new shiny red graphics tablet. You sit down….make a cup of tea…..a little candle light. Then a CRAZY MIDGET that likes shiny red things ….kills you….sad huh?

Chunky Beef Stew

Posted at 11:06AM, Jun. 6, 2006

One chunk to chunky for your throat. Oh look, you've landed in your stew.

Emo.

Posted at 4:06PM, Jun. 6, 2006

The emo is another personality of yourself, and it keeps making you cut yourself until you bleed to death.

A stuffed poodle.

Posted at 4:06PM, Jun. 6, 2006

due to a terrible mix up a Mafia owned Drug filled poodle was accidently delivered to a stuffed poodle emporium, you purchase said poodle unknowingly and thus embark upon a great adventure filled with car chases, gunfights and hot women with your wise cracking black sidekick, but eventually you are caught and executed by a mafia boss for stealing his drugs.

Object: Holland.

Posted at 4:06PM, Jun. 6, 2006

You purchase tickets for "Holland". Unbeknowenst to you, the country is actually called the Netherlands. Mid-flight, you realize you are actually not on a plane. You fall to your death.

Object: Wikipedia.

Posted at 9:06AM, Jun. 7, 2006

You have a big date. You want to show off your pretty new shoes….BUT WAIT….GASP….one is missing. You go insane from now finding it and beat yourself to death with the other.

object: jar of mayo

Posted at 6:06PM, Jun. 7, 2006

You didn't specify an object, so I'll come up with one: googlie-eyes.

You stick them to your real eyes. You walk off a clif. You die.

Next Object: Calculator

Posted at 4:06AM, Jun. 8, 2006

Your calculator is soular powered. Whilst attempting to do a maths exam, the vast amounts of power required by the calculator forces it to consume your soul! You pass the exam, only to be branded a soulless abomination by the church. You are subsequently burned at the stake by the inquisition.

Next object: A webcam