How will this kill me?

Posted at 12:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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Everyone knows that Penguins are vicious killers in the first place, so it's common sense!

Powerade.

Posted at 12:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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someone puts poison in it

DrunkDuck.com

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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It's already killing you. Very, very slowly.

Tegan and Sara.

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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They are behind you right now with a rabid bunny.

The colour orange

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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The colour orange realizes that nothing rhymes with orange so it goes on a killing spree! Unfortunately you were caught in the crossfire and died.

Zombies

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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When the Drunk Duck zombies community project begins, you will be one of the first victems.

Emos

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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INVALID!

Emos cannot kill anyone.

Internet Explorer 5.

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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It will blow up your computer while you are on it.

careerbuilder.com

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 1, 2007

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You will get a job from posting your resume. Unfortunately the boss is a freaky bastard and rapes you to death… tough but honest. All thanks to careerbuilder.com

LOST the show.

Posted at 1:07PM, Jul. 1, 2007

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You miss one episode and it confuses you so much that your head explodes.

A can of pepsi.

Posted at 3:07PM, Jul. 1, 2007

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You're drinking a can of Pepsi when all of a sudden, dumbass Myxo walks in and kills you… all because you were drinking the greatest cola drink evr.

Water.

Posted at 3:07PM, Jul. 1, 2007

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You decide to cryogenically freeze yourself. But you forgot to get glucose injections, so the water in your blood freezes in spikes and punctures all your cell walls. When you're unfrozen, you die because all your cells collapsed.

A deck of cards

Posted at 5:07PM, Jul. 1, 2007

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After building the highest structure made out of cards ever a gust of wind knocks them over, crushing and killing you instantly.

A slinky.

Posted at 6:07PM, Jul. 1, 2007

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It thinks that slinking is boring, and decides to shank you.

The number 2.

Posted at 8:07PM, Jul. 1, 2007

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You try to prove that E=mc^3 instead of mc^2. Einstein rises out of his grave and challenges you to a knife fight on the roof so that you will leave the number 2 as it is. The duel ends when somehow both of you stab each other in the heart. Unfortunately, Einstein is a zombie, and you forgot to go for the head.

A non-toxic marker

Posted at 8:07PM, Jul. 1, 2007

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A non-toxic marker is proven to be more toxic than a toxic marker, thus automatically killing you.
Source: Wikipedia

Karma.

Posted at 4:07PM, Jul. 3, 2007

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After doing an extensive study on karma. You become afraid to eat anything lest you gain negative karma. Apparently plants have feelings too. You survive for a while on artifical foodstuffs, but eventually you die of malnutrition.

a small piece of chalk

Posted at 7:07PM, Jul. 3, 2007

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You're using chalk in class when all a sudden an A-bomb drops killing everyone except yourself… You somehow survive and manage to live for the next 67 years until your grandchildren up chalk in your sandwhich automatically killing you.

The Edit Button.

Posted at 9:07PM, Jul. 3, 2007

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You click the Edit button, this does not please the Reply button. So he gets the Quote and Delete button to cut your throat while you sleep.

Altered Beast on the Sega Master System.

Posted at 12:07AM, Jul. 4, 2007

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Simple: Altered Beast on the Sega Master System rapes you to death!

Transformers the Movie.

Posted at 2:07AM, Jul. 4, 2007

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You get a ticket to see it and go to it. You like the movie and you sit there content with the movie that you are watching, but suddenly out of no where someone stands up in the croud "THIS MOVIE SUCKS!" he yelled out as he pulled out a gun "IM GONNA TAKE OUT MY ANGER ON YOU GUYS!" everyone escapes except for you because you were concentrated on the movie you didnt notice the attack going on. He walks up to you and puts the gun to your head "You ready to die!?" he asks as you look up at him "Wha?" you continue to stare at him and munch on some popcorn he takes a step forward and slips on a soda that spilled on the ground and he dies. You stare at him "SHHHH" you say putting your finger to your mouth "Im trying to watch!". You watch till the end of the movie and get up and walk out of the theater and take a deep breath. You then spontaneously combust. The End OR IS IT!?

Myself

Posted at 4:07AM, Jul. 4, 2007

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You somehow clone yourself, then your clone kills you and takes your place.

A popsicle stick.

Posted at 1:07PM, Jul. 4, 2007

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You finish the popsickle and throw it into the trash. It lands on a spork and the spork launches a piece of gum through the air and it hits the ground. A man steps on it and then bends down to take it off.
because he wasnt watching where he was, he turns out to be in the middle of a street. a car hits him and knocks off his hat. his hat flys into a woman and she falls over onto a table. the table falls over making a glass fly through the air. the glass hits a man smoking a cigarette which flys outa his mouth.
The wind catches the lit cigarette and it goes near a gas station The cigarette manages to ignite some gas fumes and the gas station blows up. one of the affected automobiles in the gas station was an ice cream truck. when it explodes there are popsickle sticks flying everywhere at high speeds. multiple sticks fly into you and peirce vital organs in your body including your brain and lungs. hence you are killed by a popsickle stick.


a thimble.

Posted at 1:07PM, Jul. 4, 2007

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The thimble is made of a chemical that you're allergic of… BUT somehow you survive and manage to live for another 30 days until you slip on one. BUT!!! You survive, unfortunately you become paralyzed until you chock to death by a thimble.

A 13-year-old immature kid who hates being affiliated with Sonic X.

Posted at 1:07PM, Jul. 4, 2007

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After being told million times that he watches too much Sonic X he finally snapps and kills you with a steamroller.


An Ipod