How will this kill me?

Posted at 6:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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You use the pencil to write your will, as you are mauled by ravenous bears with wooden teeth.

a jar of gypsy tears

Posted at 6:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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Borat steal the gypsy tear to remove his own bad luck. yes?
You then get fired by your boss for embarrassing the company in such a way, lose your house, your wife leaves you, and a black cat walks across your path as you drop a mirror and the Grim trips and drops his sickle on you.

dentures

Posted at 6:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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They explode…..in your mouth….

An Ice cube (no choking)

Posted at 6:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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You open your fridge and accidentally trigger a new Ice age.
everybody freezes to death

piece of wood

Posted at 6:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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You build a log cabin, alongside the river that runs beyond the hoover dam. it breaks all at once, and you are barraged by water and cars.

Steak fajita burrito

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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The acne covered "cook" wrapped its scalding contents too tightly and it explodes into your eyes blinding you. You run around screaming until you fall and land on a grill, catch on fire and burn to death.

TV

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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The media's influence causes you to commit acts of violence, and you get killed in a shootout.

Bratz doll

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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They are actually alive and they kill you in your sleep.

Spoon

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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You go to Toys R Us with your child looking for the latest fashionable Toy. When from across the store it calls to her. Faintly at first but then the cries grow deeper. Louder. Sweeter. You are oblivious to the fact that the Bratz Doll has once again claimed another victim. You buy the doll for her. Because she's your little angel isn't she? Ironic, the fact that soon you will both be in heaven.

You go home. She shows the doll to her friends. They're envious. Of course they're envious. That doll is evil. So once little Claire, and little Stacey, and yes, even little Bertha leave you put your child to sleep and say. "Goodnight sweety, I love you." You walk out of her room and turn off the light and of course as all good cliche go the doll's eyes turn bright red. Then before anyone knows what had happened. BAM. Little Stacey's back with an axe and you're all dead.

Why did this happen? Did the doll have evil powers? Did the jealousy overwhelm the little girl until she could take no more? Or did you just forget to switch to Geico to save lots of money on your car insurance?

-my thanks to ShinGen for already fielding this one.

Windows Vista

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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It installs itself into your Mac, and the monitor explodes, ejecting shards of glass into your eyes.

BIG……ANGRY……COCKS!!!

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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hehehe, my friend told me to post that. you don't really have to relate a swarm of enraged penises to your death. lol!

batman's left shoe.

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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MAKE YOU CHOKE!!!
*gagging* *thud*

ummmmm….. awkward?


sailboat

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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U HAVE AN EXTREME SAILING MISHAP, AND U GETS CUT IN HALF, WHILE WEARING A 3 PIECE BATHING SUIT!!!

El Camino floating through space

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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You suffocate immediately, ITS A FREAKING EL CAMINO THERES NO AIR IN OUTER SPACE!

Nuclear fallout shelter

Posted at 7:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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You starve to death.

Wild dingos

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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Tear you apart in your sleep

dolphins at seawolrd

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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You get shot in the eye, in a western style showdown, by the dolphin.

deck of Yugi-Oh! cards

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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After losing a match to a 5 year old at a tournament you take a card and start slashing throats until the police gun you down like a dog

Super smash brothers melee

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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When you throw a pokeball at your opponent, snorlax bursts through your tv screen and eats your eyes.

a shatterproof glass, filled to the rim with delicious candies that dissolve in your mouth.

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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You down the candies in one gulp,
later the doctor's determine they were all made of anthrax, thus the unbreakable container that.

google earth

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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Terrorists use google earth to find your house and steal your tv. you die from depression.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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The fun Japanese style animations draw you in and suck your soul out.
eventually your body dies with a controlling influence

Gantz (don't look it up, if ya don't know it you ain't worthy)

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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My severe lack of knowledge of this Gantz causes your soul to rupture, turning you into a lifeless vegetable. (oh, and i just looked it up)

the port end of a cruise ship

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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you drown in the wash of a bilge pump… yuck

Antonio Banderas

Posted at 8:09PM, Sep. 11, 2007

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He carves a big Z in your forehead, and you die of blood loss.

Sturdy window.