You fall madly in love with eric and commit suicide hoping to be reincarnated as his soul mate.
dancing riceballs.
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How will this kill me?
You notice a group of dancing rice balls, and are drawn to them because they are so cute. But unfortunately they are dancing to summon the Rice Ball God-King. You step into the circle and unknowingly become a sacrifice. The Rice Ball God-King is resurected in you and he 'splodes out of you, leaving you in little rice covered shreds.
———
Milk
you drink it and then you seem all right after walking around drunkduck all day you run into the guy who you took the last milk from and he notices ya and shoots you with colt python20 times as you crawl from the alley which you had been shot in a homeless man notices ya and starts to call the police on a nearby pay phone but stops and relizes that you could have some cash and you was dieng so how would the fuzz evan knew who robbed ya so he takes ur money and kicks you 20 times and walks away with 3k of your hard earned money…. as you crawl to the hospital the final pit every that sees you laughs cold heartedly except for the people in the hospital the would reallly like to help you and take ur money you are very ner th sidewalk and are about to pull urself up when a ambulance runs you over as the vehicle smashes you you notice that they have you in a stretcher then you die… the doctor declares that you died out of poisen milk and a case of extream bad luck… guees ya shouldn't have taken that milk…
me
After reading through your last post you realize that giant block of text involving homeless people and milk was one hugenormous run on sentence. That fact alone causes a brain clot and your eyes explode backwards through the back of your head.
Fluff. You heard me. Fluff.
you're strutting in the mirror and you see some linty looking fluff in your belly button so you start diggin your hand in there trying to get it out and you're a little overzealous and you accidentally pull out your intestines you slowly die of bleeding while watching evey horrifying minute of your death in your bloodstained mirror
It pisses you off so badly you throw it into the air. It comes back down and lands on your back, breaking your back. It paralyzes you from the waist down. When you realize you can';t have sex and feel it anymore, you drive your wheelchair out the top floor of the closest building. Unfortunately, it's a two story, and you survive the fall. Somehow, in falling, you become immortal and can neither die naturally or be killed. Guess you shouldn't have thrown your computer. (paradox, you didn't die)
Immortality.
you start to write something really long and after a few hours after you done you try to save it, but the microsoft notepad laggs and you go crazy and bash your head in to the screen that short circut's and sends high voltage electricity through your body, frying it…
uhmm…
a small ball of fluff
The small ball of fluff is acutally TEH 1337 SP4C3 PARASITE OH NOES! It attaches to your noggin and takes over you making spam every forum on the internet until an angry mob of internetters come to your house and pull you into pieces until you die. :)
——————-
Chicken Noodle Soup
You ponder the reason why soda can coexist with bread–solid and liquid–in the same food. After two years in thought about this in your bedroom, you finally go insane and throw yourself out a ten-story plate glass window in an agonizing mental trance.
And now, a difficult one…
Peace
After devoting decades of his life to getting it perfectly right, a serial killer finally corners you in a dark alley and slits an artery with a cut-out Get Fuzzy. You don't go to the hospital because you're too stunned about how you were just so righteously pwned, and you die of blood loss.
Andrew Lloyd Webber
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