I'm snowed in. Let's have some fun.
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Mafia XXXIX: The Return to Townston Tradition
alright! i have access to computer again and free time! and lets see whats going on…
…
…
furry pushing i see…
…
MADNESS! the pardoner dies?
…
l33t
…
lots o' people dead…
…
well then… looks like everthing is pretty much on fire- guess i'll go break out the smores… also it's that hourly comic day. that is all
He's making a list, he's checking it twice, gonna kill everyone, regardless if they're naughty or nice.
Dressed in a bloody suit of armor, with a helmet to match (and even a bell on top to be festive) the serial killer set out. He stopped at his first house. “let's see….is this shirkersamas house? NOPE.” on and on throughout the night.
Anthony mercer was getting out of his foreign language classes late tonight. He had stayed to get “tutored” by the cute little chica that teaches the class. Oh man, he could not wait for class on thursday.
A car pulled up, and the window rolled down. Henry Winkler stuck his head out, and asked Anthony to get in the car.
Henry Winkler?!? the ambiguous attorney from arrested development? How could Mr. Mercer refuse an offer like that?
“you know, I did more than arrested development. I was even involved with the mafia at one point.”
“no way! You're so awesome!”
“WHAT THE FFFUUU” the driver screamed as he narrowly avoided a giant red blur crossing the street. The car went careening into a wall.
Anthony couldn't feel his legs. His left arm was bent at an impossibly odd, and painful angle. He was pretty sure that his head had turned into a fountain.
“Help me…” he managed to eek out. Arthur herbert looked at him… arthur herbert? Who is that and how did he get here he thought to himself.
“you look pretty banged up. Too bad we no longer have a medic to take care of you”
[spoiler]
Anthony mercer the emotional lurker, the townee, the bodyguard bled to death in the Godfather's car
[/spoiler]
WARNINING slightly controversial….nevermind, I didn't write it.
Gullas was just walking down the street. There was something about not having been out in a couple days, that made him really appreciate it. What did he have to fear? It's not like there was nothing but mafia and serial killers left in town.
He came across a man in the park who was doodling.
“Draw your portrait for 10 bucks mister.”
Gullas was feeling generous to this hippy looking man. “Sure” He stood there for about half an hour as the man sketched and sketched. Erasing, sketching. And so on.
“all finished”
Gullas looked. “HEY!! All this is, is a picture of a stick figure next to a red stick figure with armor!!”
“Ain't my fault man. I was too lazy to finish art school”
“I want my money back”
“Alright, but do you take singles?” The hitman asked, as he pumped Gullas with 10 pieces of led.
[spoiler]
gullas the Impaler and the Terrible Gambler the townee died
[/spoiler]
The serial killer was huffing and puffing by the time he found shirkersama's address. It was nearing day break now. “i've been at this all night, if I try to slice him, he'll out run me, because i'm tired…. I KNOW!”
The Blood suited man began dumping his bag of gas cans down Shirkersama's chimney…
“Oh wait, this is a firepl” BLAM as the killer was thrown through the sky into a drift of snow.
Shirkersama was only aware that it got slightly warm.
[spoiler]
Shirkersama the townee is the first to die peacefully
[/spoiler]
I have a feeling that mafia and hark have made an alliance lol
And if you really think about it, this game makes no sence. Why do mafia have to kill all the townies to win? The point of being a mafia is drug dealing and stolen goods selling, something they cant do if they kill all of their customers! I dont know, im bored and decided to just post what was on my mind.
This has been randomness randomly brought to you by random selection, by some randomdude, the person.
Well. I guess the townies have all displeased the godfather at some point in time and they all must die. Besides these aren't just any townsfolk. They have nuclear missiles in their back yards, run magic shops, demonically possessed bakeries, magic shops, weapon shops…
Also the original rules was just that mafia had to outnumber the townies.
Ah…the ice is going to refreeze tonight, so school is canceled for me tomorrow too. My class is pulling for it to stay that way until Thursday.
Well. I guess the townies have all displeased the godfather at some point in time and they all must die. Besides these aren't just any townsfolk. They have nuclear missiles in their back yards, run magic shops, demonically possessed bakeries, magic shops, weapon shops…
and don't forget a meatshop which is proud to have it's "Townston Mayoral Environmental 'Seal' of Approval ©" for quality waste reduction :D
1337 grabbed D_Dude, and stormed the Lynch platform. "We have here, votes for harkovast. And since we are also the first to get our votes in, with 4 remaining fully vote qualified Townstonians, harkovast is here by lynched."
[spoiler]
These words are not enough to simply lynch the greatest mayor ever
[/spoiler]
Rokulily stepped forward "Sorry i'm late, but i was squished under a bakers dozen dozen muffins! but, but i vote for you 1337. This town just isn't safe anymore."
"MWAHAHAHAHAA" Laughed evil 1337. "who else is there?"
"There's still Red Slayer"
[spoiler]
Elsewhere Red Slayer was sitting in traffic, mentally kicking himself knowing he should have taken the downtown exit direct to lynch square
[/spoiler]
The mayor stepped out of the burlesque. "Ive Wanna voth For 1337 master."
"You're….You're too drunk….Too Late…you can't…"
"Oh, yeth i can. Jussss wash." Harkovast clumsily pulled out a remote with a big red button. "Automathic lyshing machine. press da button, and whoever i says diesss."
1337 watched as harkovast dramatically went to press the big red button. Harkovast accidently dropped it. he bent over to pick it up, but he was very drunk, and lost his balance. 1337 sighed relief as he saw that the button had not been pressed.
but then, harkovast rolled over right onto the controller.
A pole sprang out of the ground, straight up. it bent 2/3 the way up, and a metallic rope whipped out of it, as it made a 7 shape. The rope looped around 1337s neck. He tried fighting, but even a godfather isn't strong enough to break steel noose rope.
[spoiler]
I Am The 1337 Master the Goddamn Batman and the Anti-Roku, or something like that the Godfather was lynched by a machine.
[/spoiler]
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