Thread "Tell us your favourite riddle/joke" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 12:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

Forward I am heavy, backwards I am not. What am I?

A ton.

My favorite joke:

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

[spoiler=Answer]It was dead.[/spoiler]

Posted at 12:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

The monkey joke is awesome. Also, how d'you do that spoiler bit? With the mouserolling and all?

Posted at 12:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

Press the "Quote" thing in the upper right corner of that post and you can see the coding in action.

Posted at 12:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

Hey guess what?

[spoiler=]I know how to do this now.[/spoiler]

Posted at 12:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

Press the "Quote" thing in the upper right corner of that post and you can see the coding in action.

hurrdurr…Why didn't I think of that.

Posted at 12:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Posted at 1:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots tell his students?

[spoiler=Answer]Watch this closely. I'm only going to do this once.[/spoiler]

Posted at 3:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

What's old, grey and wrinkly, and hangs out Grandpa's pants?

Grandma of course….
She hangs out his pants when she washes them… along with his shirts, socks, etc.

I'm seriously amazed no-one got that one.

This one's a bit easier… What does a dog do that a man steps into?

Keep them coming everyone.

Posted at 3:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

[spoiler=Answer]Cancer.[/spoiler]

Posted at 4:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

My six year old keeps telling variations on these two.

Joke the First:

Two muffins are in the oven. The first muffin says "Damn, it's hot in here." The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

He varies the things, frogs talking about how wet it is, signs talking about how dirty it is and various other baked goods taking about the heat. He's pretty impressed with himself.

Joke the Second:

Two chocolate bunnies are sitting on the table, one has his ears bitten off, the other has his butt bitten off. The second one says "Ouch, my butt hurts." The first one says "What did you say?"

He's tried that one with chocolate bears and pigs but the best reaction is with the bunnies.

Posted at 4:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

eh? sorry i dont understand, explain please

Cancer = instant hilarity (also aids).

Posted at 6:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

Two Nuns in a bath.
One says "Where's the soap?"
The other replies "It does."

Two nuns on a tandem going down a cobbled street.
One says to the other "I've never come this way before!"

I laughed so hard (esp. the first one)! Am I going to hell?

Posted at 6:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

"I am in Rock but not in Stone,
I am in Marrow but not in Bone,
I am in Bolster but not in Bed,
I am not living and I am not dead:

What am I?"

Also, I don't get the first nun gag.

Posted at 6:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

"I am in Rock but not in Stone,
I am in Marrow but not in Bone,
I am in Bolster but not in Bed,
I am not living and I am not dead:

What am I?"

"R"

Posted at 6:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

midge i like yours but patricks, its not that funny

Yeah, it's more for making people groan than laugh. I like it though, of course I like puns too.

Posted at 8:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

I don't get the nun one. The first one. The second is easy.

Posted at 8:11PM, Nov. 12, 2007

Ozone…I didnt get yours…

Hahaha, No cookie for you! That goes to Usedbooks ;)

Posted at 2:11AM, Nov. 13, 2007

This one's a bit easier… What does a dog do that a man steps into?

Pants!

Posted at 3:11AM, Nov. 13, 2007

Ozone…I didnt get yours…
Hahaha, No cookie for you! That goes to Usedbooks ;)

I actually got the second one just now. Still trying to figure out the first one. I'm guessing the language barrier is the problem…

Another one for ya:

What's the difference between a warm blanket and a steamroller?

[spoiler]Try lying under 'em.[/spoiler]

Posted at 4:11AM, Nov. 13, 2007

Two Nuns in a bath.
One says "Where's the soap?"
The other replies "It does."

For everyone who's not getting this joke, try saying it out loud. ;)

Posted at 4:11AM, Nov. 13, 2007

I still don't get it…

Damn!

Posted at 4:11AM, Nov. 13, 2007

I still don't get it…

Damn!

SIGH!!!

Okay, let me give you another hint. You know how "they're" and "their" and "there" all sound the same when said out loud, but are spelled differently…?

Yeah. :P I don't think I can get more obvious than that!

Posted at 4:11AM, Nov. 13, 2007

Pixie is the one to watch… Anyway, the funniest thing about the joke is that people don't get it. :)

Posted at 4:11AM, Nov. 13, 2007

XDXDXD

I'm weirdly flattered by that remark. Hee!

Posted at 4:11AM, Nov. 13, 2007

I still don't get it. Is it an Aussie thing? The best I can come up with is:

Two Nuns in a bath.
One says "Wears the soap?"
The other replies "It does."

But that doesn't make any sense either.