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Moonlight meanderer
Posted at

baseball bat? pishhh

cricket bat is more suitable!

Posted at

Not percise? ha! You must never seen a tank fired by me!

I can hit a human target at 8000 meters with a Sabot round, witch has no explosives, its a giant DU bullet.

It also has 3 machine guns all of which are very powerful and with skill you can be on target.
zombies come in hordes right?

1) hordes wouldnt be able to get at you (you would be inside)
2) hordes would be blasted into nothing with a single HEAT round
3) can sit out till rescue.


a HEAT round doesn't just throw out shrapnel it would make anything within 100 meters not just be blown apart…it would disinagrate them.

a tank is NEVER useless.
lol!

This is such a tanker mindset. They're taught in OSUT there's nothing better than them on the battlefield. On the open, well supplied battlefield, perhaps this is true. But what happens when you run out of food? What happens when you run out of 5.56 or 7.62? What happens when your like 30 main tube rounds are gone? Yeah, tankers think they're invincible… but I've proven hundreds of times in training scenarios that my radio is much more powerful than an entire company of tanks… and those tanks had fuel and ammo.

So you'd survive a couple days…

So once you run out, you're stuck with your wussy M9 Barreta and a metal box… and you spent the last few days blowing away hordes and so all the other zombies are now attracted to all the sound you made. And we all know that there's no safe place in zombie scenarios. Mobility and running are the only solutions. Zombies will always win out on a stationary target. Eventually, some topless damsel will come banging on the turret hatch… or maybe you'll just have to take a #2… and you'll be lonely and hungry and as soon as you open the door, the zombie that's just an upper torso that you thought was dead springs to life and nibbles your forearm. Now you have to suffer the long transition to zombiehood. And since your other tanker buddies aren't gonna leave cause tankers NEVER dismount, you're all toast.

-45 main gun rounds 10000 rounds of .50 cal 50000 rounds of 7.62. I've never run out of 7.62 but i have run out of the others.

-In iraq when i was out of the wire i never got out. I drop the #2 inside the tank and put it in the sub turret until i could get out.

-I know we aren't invinsable, but unless zombies start shooting TOWs or placing huge IEDs i should be good.

-In a perfect zombie attack (is that possible?) i would only move if i needed food, if i ran out of ammo i would lock up and hope my tracks didn't slip on the sheer amount of zombie guts.

I would be better off then if i tryed running around in that POS you cav call a bradley :)

(im just playing)


reconjsh
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Posted at

put [the poo] in the sub turret until i could get out.

And when would this be? What if the zombie invasion was indefinite? That's just how things are now? At some time, you'd HAVE to get out. You'll, eventually, run out of ammo, fuel, food, and places to store poo without making you sick.

And if zombie movies have taught me anything, the one time you open the hatch 1 inch to throw out some poo or fill up the 500 gallon gas tank… you're toast. If not for any other reason than you THOUGHT you were safe. The confident people ALWAYS die. And who lives? The virgin with big boobs. That's it, I'm getting a sex change so I can survive Wingnut's zombie invasion.

Don't get me wrong though, I'd definitly be all about riding along in an abrams. I've both driven and fired one… and I'd love to put that into use on a zombie hoarde. Hell, I'd just like to see it.

But,
1) I'd mostly only go along because if the zombie evasion were true, I'd probably instantly count my @$$ as toast and just try to have a hoot.
2) And if I didn't count my @$$ as toast, I'd definitly remain mobile. These are slow moving zombies, afterall. I'd drive a SUV or something… something I could reliably find fuel for (at least more reliably than a tank, lol)


Question: I don't remember what fuel the tank took specifically. I know it's jet fuel for the jet turbine engine… but what was it called? "JP8" or something like that, right?


GUNNER, HEAT, 10 STATIONARY ZOMBIES IN THE OPEN. FIRE! (that's right, I know my burm drills, =P)

I would be better off then if i tryed running around in that POS you cav call a bradley

(im just playing)

It's okay. Bradleys really are POSs. I was a HMMW-V scout. =P I did actual recon. Not hunter-killer armor support BS.

Posted at

The baseball bat is not totally useless m'dear, you don't always have to KILL the zombie, and in most situations, running is by far the batter option.


-W

I'm against most bludgeon weapons. Why use all that energy to beat in a zombie's face when it would take much less energy to slice? Have you ever seen those cartoons where they hit someone/something with a bat or a shovel, and it rings all the way up their arms and they start shaking? As silly as it looks, that's exactly what if feels like, even hitting something as small and squishy as a baseball wrong hurts your hands. Can you imagine repeatingly hitting a zombie in the head with that? And if you get surrounded, it's no use. A baseball bat is as fast as you are, which isn't fast enough. And sure you don't have to kill the zombie, but there are a lot better weapons to use as hit and run weapons. Besides, I don't think a baseball bat is as durable as people think it is.

Even current day masters of the katana struggle to slice completely through thick flesh and bone with EVERY stroke. Granted, the katana's effectiveness is about speed, technique and sharpness and not about strength. But if you think you can go around lopping off heads, you're sadly mistaken.

The baseball bat is a much more effective choice… even when you're tired you can raise the bat and move it downwards with enough force to smash a skull and like I said, the best with katanas nowadays would struggle to decapatate consistantly with every stroke. If you're nervous or starled, you're probably less likely to use a katana properly than a baseball bat. Or you could just hold the bat and start spinning. If you're lucky enough to land a hit, it could take out the zombie. This isn't the case with the katana. If the katana got stopped, even once out of 100 in mid slice through a zombie, you'd be toast… that katana would be hard to get control over again. The bat is bludgeoning so really the only limitation is your muscle endurance. And a real katana and a light aluminum baseball probably don't weight so much differently that an endurance comparision is relevant. Also consider that perhaps YOU can lop off heads at will with the katana… but can anyone else you encounter? It's unlikely that they'd have the advanced technique and speed required to do such a feat. But if you had to pass off a bat, most everyone can swing it and be lethal.

The baseball bat beats the katana hands down for overall zombie effectiveness.

Like I said, you wouldn't have to aim for the head. You aim for the neck. And I completely disagree with your statement, "even when you're tired you can raise the bat and move it downwards with enough force to smash a skull" No you can't. An example: there was this couple that lived on my old street. The wife decided to kill the husband whilst he slept on the couch. So she grabbed the aluminum baseball bat and beat him repeatidly in the face (while he was on the couch which was lower than her so she was using the advatagous gravity) and failed to kill him. Sure she broke some bones, but he's still livin'! What makes you think that while you're tired that you could bash through a skull with a wussy aluminum bat? Have you proof? I think you're overestimating your strength and the strength of an average human.

Also, if I were in the position where I could be startled by a zombie, (it would need to pop out of somewhere close to me, and be a loner. I would see a horde of zombies approaching and have already readied my shotgun.)I probably wouldn't have my katana out, I'd have my trench spike out, which isn't hard to use at all. you punch pretty much. You made an argument fueding the bat against a katana, but there are many more capable weapons.

And if you were surrounded by zombies, pulling a Link and spinning with your bat prolly wouldn't do more than make you dizzy. A zombie wouldn't go down, I garuntee it. Hell, I doubt a human would go down. As for your statement about weight, it doesn't matter how light a bat is, smashing it into something repeatedly is still going to wear you out faster than something that could slice through rotting flesh.

Posted at

what was that thing they were using to kill monsters in the descent? like an ice pick? it looked mighty useful.

reconjsh
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All good points. I concede most of them.

Mostly I was trying to demonstrate that, when you're not at your peak performance the bludegoner will be better than the slicer. And during a zombie invasion, you'll pretty much NEVER be at anywhere NEAR peak performance. The neck is a pretty thick muscle and the spine is a fair bone as well. Not to mention that it takes a specific stroke to sever a neck… which is also not a large target, nor an easy one on a mobile opponent.

The bludgeoner just seems the most user friendly. I guess I can't speak for the average human. I can speak for me though… and bonking a zombie on their head seems way more effective than trying to cut a head off.

Severing the spinal cord or destroying the brain is how you traditionally kill zombies. And destroying the brain doesn't seem like that hard of task with an actual swing when compared to the ridiculous mastery it'd take to lop off heads at the neck with a katana. I doubt sincerely that many of us here on these forums could use a katana even slightly effectively in a zombie invasion. But a bludgeoner like a baseball bat? Most of us could bust some skulls.


I guess if I weren't me… and I was some character in a movie… hell yes I'd want the katana. They all look wicked with them. But from a practical view… and considering I'm ME and we're all of US… the bludeoner is the clear victor.

NOTE: In Dungeons and Dragons… the bludeoner doesn't take an attack and damage penalty for fighting undead… the slicers and peircers do. D&D GEEKS, HOOOOO!

Posted at

All good points. I concede most of them.

Mostly I was trying to demonstrate that, when you're not at your peak performance the bludegoner will be better than the slicer. And during a zombie invasion, you'll pretty much NEVER be at anywhere NEAR peak performance. The neck is a pretty thick muscle and the spine is a fair bone as well. Not to mention that it takes a specific stroke to sever a neck… which is also not a large target, nor an easy one on a mobile opponent.

The bludgeoner just seems the most user friendly. I guess I can't speak for the average human. I can speak for me though… and bonking a zombie on their head seems way more effective than trying to cut a head off.

Severing the spinal cord or destroying the brain is how you traditionally kill zombies. And destroying the brain doesn't seem like that hard of task with an actual swing when compared to the ridiculous mastery it'd take to lop off heads at the neck with a katana. I doubt sincerely that many of us here on these forums could use a katana even slightly effectively in a zombie invasion. But a bludgeoner like a baseball bat? Most of us could bust some skulls.


I guess if I weren't me… and I was some character in a movie… hell yes I'd want the katana. They all look wicked with them. But from a practical view… and considering I'm ME and we're all of US… the bludeoner is the clear victor.

i imagine, that if you were in the position where you had to learn to use a sword so you could slice off some head of zombies, you'd learn pretty quick the best way to slice off some heads. I guess you and I would just go about our buisness different when it comes to zombies. I wasn't defending the katana, I was bashing the bat (slightly a pun). Bats aren't made for combat. It would definatly bend or break after two or three encounters. Edged weapons would be better in my view. A knife, a gladius, a ninjite, a axe anything. It's made to be fought with, and therefore will hold up better. A twelve inch non-serrated knife would be fantastic. Or a handaxe. Lovely. If I had to pick a bludgeon weapon it would be a crowbar, not a bat.

Posted at

lol
i knew i picked the right partner for a zombie apocalypse

reconjsh
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The bat is a metal version of what was almost certainly the first weapon ever used by man… the club. That's why it's so great. It's so easy a geico caveman could use it.

I will concede that some edged weapons would be better than a bat.

But I think you're mistaken about swords, katanas in particular. A katana isn't going to yield the results you see in movies or even those you see authentic weilders getting. Because a sword - katana - is a weapon that is effective only when used with proper technique. Sure, I can pick up any sword and swing and kill a person. But I'm definitly not going to be able to lop off heads of zombies without an awesome swing.

And you'll most probably never get an "awesome swing" by just picking it up and practicing with it.

But I digress.

I would still love to fight with you though. I can appreciate anyone that thinks things through and that'd be the type of person I'd want to roll with. And with your mad head lopping abilities and my… um, sissy red wiffle bat, we'd be unstoppable.

A Greataxe… now there's a weapon I'd be all for. I'm built for weilding a greataxe. I'm tall and big… I just didn't include it on my list because I don't have one.

And there's also the practicality of sharpening, oiling/cleaning to prevent rust, having a blade around during the not zombie times and potentially hurting someone or yourself… etc etc. And for me, put up against a bat. Meh.

The simplest solution is usually the best.

Posted at

The bat is a metal version of what was almost certainly the first weapon ever used by man… the club. That's why it's so great. It's so easy a geico caveman could use it.

I will concede that some edged weapons would be better than a bat.

But I think you're mistaken about swords, katanas in particular. A katana isn't going to yield the results you see in movies or even those you see authentic weilders getting. Because a sword - katana - is a weapon that is effective only when used with proper technique. Sure, I can pick up any sword and swing and kill a person. But I'm definitly not going to be able to lop off heads of zombies without an awesome swing.

And you'll most probably never get an "awesome swing" by just picking it up and practicing with it.

But I digress.

I would still love to fight with you though. I can appreciate anyone that thinks things through and that'd be the type of person I'd want to roll with. And with your mad head lopping abilities and my… um, sissy red wiffle bat, we'd be unstoppable.

A Greataxe… now there's a weapon I'd be all for. I'm built for weilding a greataxe. And tall and big… I just didn't include it on my list because I don't have one.

And there's also the practicality of sharpening, oiling/cleaning to prevent rust, having a blade around during the not zombie times and potentially hurting someone or yourself… etc etc. And for me, put up against a bat. Meh.

The simplest solution is usually the best.

But the club wasn't too effective, was it? That's why they invented the sword. ^.^

I think you're missing what I'm saying. I didn't say that I could pick up a katana and be infused with the mastery of it. I'm not saying that I'm uber cool and going to slice and dice zombies with the skill of a ninja. But come on…when pressed, human adaption can be quite impressive. It wouldn't take too long to figure the most effective way for me swing my sword to hit a zombie the right way. It doesn't mean that I would be using the sword the right way, but an effective way for myself. It's like having the sight off on your bow. You adjust yourself to the way you fire it, aiming to the left or whatever of your target. Or maybe you're bow is too heavy, you can only pull forty pounds but you ended up with a sixty pound draw bow. so you move in closer to your target, and don't pull the bow back all the way. You adapt to the situation, it doesn't matter if you're technique is correct by other people's standards as long as it keeps you alive.

And a great axe would prolly be way to heavy to be of use on the run. If you're going to keep mobile, your weapons should be light, and easy to attack with so you don't wear yourself out. You have to stop and rest, zombies don't. And it's true that with an edged weapon you would have to clean and sharpen it, which would be a drawback, but not a huge one. Those supplies shouldn't be too hard to come by.


Sub:You and I would make a crazy zombie fighting team.

Posted at

And I realize that I'm prolly putting far too much thought into this…-feels like a loser-

reconjsh
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You're right. The sword would own. And most people could figure it out and even become proficient at it, given the proper "motivations". lol.

But the club wasn't too effective, was it? That's why they invented the sword. ^.^

That's a bit of a fallacy. Just because people created swords doesn't mean that club "wasn't too effective".

Hell, the feudal japanese Bushi & Samurai - weilders of the greatest sword ever, the katana - were typically highly proficient with the Tetsubo (spelling?). A Tetsubo is essentially just a club. Typically wooden, sometimes covered in metal and sometimes spiked; sometimes ornate and sometimes not, it was used because of its undenable nature - it was great at smashing stuff.

The club owns. Even a fatigued and scared valley girl on her cell phone can understand the concept of the club/bat. And, there's a chance she could kill some zombies with it too given the proper motivation.

But I'm with you… we're putting too much thought into this. But don't feel like a loser. At least you have some sweet comics… that I'm sure you could have advanced a page or two if you didn't spend so much time argueing with real losers like me in the forums, lol.

Posted at

You're right. The sword would own. And most people could figure it out and even become proficient at it, given the proper "motivations". lol.

But the club wasn't too effective, was it? That's why they invented the sword. ^.^

That's a bit of a fallacy. Just because people created swords doesn't mean that club "wasn't too effective".

Hell, the feudal japanese Bushi & Samurai - weilders of the greatest sword ever, the katana - were typically highly proficient with the Tetsubo (spelling?). A Tetsubo is essentially just a club. Typically wooden, sometimes covered in metal and sometimes spiked; sometimes ornate and sometimes not, it was used because of its undenable nature - it was great at smashing stuff.

The club owns. Even a fatigued and scared valley girl on her cell phone can understand the concept of the club/bat. And, there's a chance she could kill some zombies with it too given the proper motivation.

But I'm with you… we're putting too much thought into this. But don't feel like a loser. At least you have some sweet comics… that I'm sure you could have advanced a page or two if you didn't spend so much time argueing with real losers like me in the forums, lol.

i put that in there as a joke, which I should have explained better than "^.^" because the rest wasn't jokingly.

Although I think that a fatigued and scared valley girl could understand the concept of a sword too. In amature cases, it works the same as a bat. You swing it.

reconjsh
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Posted at

LOL, I kinda figured you were joking… but who knows these days =P

Concept for killing zombies with a club/bat: Swing bat as hard as you can at head. Repeat if necessary.
Concept for killing zombies with a katana: Slightly more complex. ;)

But whatever. The valley girl can have my bat… for a price *wink wink* I'm keeping my shotgun.

And I'll gladly sell my shotgun for a reliable pair of boots with good padding so I can run far and long while you guys hack and slash.

Man, I dream about being in a zombie scenario. Is it bad that I would actually enjoy it? (probably only enjoy it conceptually. In actuality I'd be pooing me draws)

Will
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Posted at

1. okay, theres this vehicle in UT2004 that has two helicopter rudders for wheels, sorta like a hovercar… i think it is called a hopper.
reason being with a simple tilt up you can just chop up all the zombies in your way XD

2. can of fuel

3. can of fuel

4. can of fuel

…then i guess i'm stuffed…

WingNut
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Ok, Generic Human, you too have made it onto my zombie killing team.

And don't feel bad kiddo's, I'm the one who started this durn thread! This is stuff I'm constantly thinking about, my girlfriend and I actually hardly eat at the local panera bread anymore because of a conversation that we had there. Because it would, and I quote, "blow during a zombie invasion."

You're among friends here. ;D

-W

Adariel
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Posted at

1. death scythe
2. billowing cape
3. ultra cool shades
4. soul calibur - zasalamel moves

i dunno about you guys, but im doing it with style

herio
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Posted at

My socks…… nothing more
do the hokepokey It hipnotzes the zombie bums socks kill senchantor I have to stop reeding that book.
heres mine

Rocket launcher: case I just likesem and they can really nockem dead
Normal guns: i dont know eny names
long Sword: there sharp

I likes how things can go cabbom but I like the old school zombie fighting but l'll go with the guy with the tank zombies freak me out then again children of men now that creepy And a base ball but is Pont less yes you can kill one or 2 at a time but there are 50 or more by by

WingNut
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Zombie Slayers, ASSSSEEEMMMBBBLLLEE!



Done ultra fast in photoshop, but hey, it's still a fun picture. ;D

-W

herio
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Posted at

Zombie Slayers, ASSSSEEEMMMBBBLLLEE!



Done ultra fast in photoshop, but hey, it's still a fun picture. ;D

-W
i think your eanmys over there thats a puppy eny way good work

Freux
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Posted at

A pogo stick and an endless supply of chihuahuas.

Posted at

Zombie Slayers, ASSSSEEEMMMBBBLLLEE!



Done ultra fast in photoshop, but hey, it's still a fun picture. ;D

-W

…What's really crazy about this picture is that today, I am indeed wearing my Zombie Food tee shirt. I thought it appropiate when I woke up the s'morning. O_o

Posted at

OK, new list:

Cricket Bat

Shovel

That Shotgun from DMC that apparently never runs out of ammo

Chickens. Lots and lots of Chickens.

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Moonlight meanderer

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