ok i see.
here's one.
mr. riot fact #599999.8
the only reason why he uses a lawn chair to fight with is because walmart was having a sell.
mr. riot fact #599999.8avjufefgyg
that and he couldn't buy one of those big, fancy, triple beatdown steel rpg swords.
mr. riot fact #600000
mr. riot once told the hulk to piss off now the hulk's in jail for 2 counts of homicide.
ok three and i made them up on the spot
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I'm With Riot
Mr. Riot Jokes!
Mr.Riot won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
—————————————————–
There is a secret plot to clone the greatest Hollywood action movie stars in order to create an unbeatable army. The people behind this plot only need very small samples of DNA to work with. This is why so many action stars have very short haircuts, and some even go to the extent of shaving their heads to prevent the evil fiends from getting such a sample. Mr.Riot is the only one with the balls not only to grow his hair long, but also to cultivate facial hair. When he's feeling particularly cocky, he sends his toenail clippings to the evil syndicate's headquarters with a note: "Just try it, bitches, and I'll kick your asses into next Thursday."
O_o…uh oh…it is? why does no one tell me these things when I need them?! JK.There are only two things in this world that can cut a Diamond…
Other Diamonds, and Mr. Riots chest hair.
It's true, my chest hair is like The Vision. It can be soft and cuddly…or hard as a diamond.
So can something ELSE of mine, but this is a family forum…
O_o…uh oh…it is? why does no one tell me these things when I need them?! JK.There are only two things in this world that can cut a Diamond…
Other Diamonds, and Mr. Riots chest hair.
It's true, my chest hair is like The Vision. It can be soft and cuddly…or hard as a diamond.
So can something ELSE of mine, but this is a family forum…
Man. I'd bet Riot's chest hair is what makes his chair so strong. I'd bet it was woven into a mesh and laid into the molten metal, giving it it's amazing "pwn" factor.
O_o…uh oh…it is? why does no one tell me these things when I need them?! JK.There are only two things in this world that can cut a Diamond…
Other Diamonds, and Mr. Riots chest hair.
It's true, my chest hair is like The Vision. It can be soft and cuddly…or hard as a diamond.
So can something ELSE of mine, but this is a family forum…
Man. I'd bet Riot's chest hair is what makes his chair so strong. I'd bet it was woven into a mesh and laid into the molten metal, giving it it's amazing "pwn" factor.
SHHHHHHH…now EVERYONE will want some.
I once asked Lolli in one of her philosophical(sp) moments what she thought of men…she simply said:
"Men usually are thinking of one thing and one thing only and that can make them drooling pervs…like Mr. Riot…but some times they can be great people."
I then asked her what she thought of Mr. Riot and she said:
"I'd hit that."
……………………….should I be concerned?
O_o…uh oh…it is? why does no one tell me these things when I need them?! JK.There are only two things in this world that can cut a Diamond…
Other Diamonds, and Mr. Riots chest hair.
It's true, my chest hair is like The Vision. It can be soft and cuddly…or hard as a diamond.
So can something ELSE of mine, but this is a family forum…
Man. I'd bet Riot's chest hair is what makes his chair so strong. I'd bet it was woven into a mesh and laid into the molten metal, giving it it's amazing "pwn" factor.
SHHHHHHH…now EVERYONE will want some.
Well, what can I say? I want one. >.>
I once asked Lolli in one of her philosophical(sp) moments what she thought of men…she simply said:
"Men usually are thinking of one thing and one thing only and that can make them drooling pervs…like Mr. Riot…but some times they can be great people."
I then asked her what she thought of Mr. Riot and she said:
"I'd hit that."
……………………….should I be concerned?
I'd like to point out that I'm not a drooling perv.
A perv? Yes. But drooling? Well…depends on who's around…
I once asked Lolli in one of her philosophical(sp) moments what she thought of men…she simply said:
"Men usually are thinking of one thing and one thing only and that can make them drooling pervs…like Mr. Riot…but some times they can be great people."
I then asked her what she thought of Mr. Riot and she said:
"I'd hit that."
……………………….should I be concerned?
I'd like to point out that I'm not a drooling perv.
A perv? Yes. But drooling? Well…depends on who's around…
Once again, I think I'm going to have to second that.
I once asked Lolli in one of her philosophical(sp) moments what she thought of men…she simply said:
"Men usually are thinking of one thing and one thing only and that can make them drooling pervs…like Mr. Riot…but some times they can be great people."
I then asked her what she thought of Mr. Riot and she said:
"I'd hit that."
……………………….should I be concerned?
I'd like to point out that I'm not a drooling perv.
A perv? Yes. But drooling? Well…depends on who's around…
Once again, I think I'm going to have to second that.
Second that I'm a perv?
He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!
He sheds his skin once a year.
Did I ever tell you about the time Riot took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Riot takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Riot yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!
He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.
He once inhaled a seagull.
He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.
He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.
Riot's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong.
Did I ever tell you about the time Riot was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, Riot chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews.
Riot drives a vehicle that was built from the bones of
men he's killed and is fueled by scotch.
Fact! Bill Brasky is the Yiddish name of Mr Riot!
He knitted Canada with his beard.
Did I ever tell you about the time Riot took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Riot takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Riot yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!
He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road.
He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.
Riot drives a vehicle that was built from the bones of
men he's killed and is fueled by scotch.
He knitted Canada with his beard.
My favorites out of that list. Bars should definitely just spring up around me.
I once asked Lolli in one of her philosophical(sp) moments what she thought of men…she simply said:
"Men usually are thinking of one thing and one thing only and that can make them drooling pervs…like Mr. Riot…but some times they can be great people."
I then asked her what she thought of Mr. Riot and she said:
"I'd hit that."
……………………….should I be concerned?
I'd like to point out that I'm not a drooling perv.
A perv? Yes. But drooling? Well…depends on who's around…
Once again, I think I'm going to have to second that.
Second that I'm a perv?
Nono, saying that I'm in the same boat, mate. I just can't drool, ever, with the mask and all…
Mr. Riot, Chuck Norris, and Vin Diesel got into a brawl, the only one that was able to stand afterwards was Mr. Riot. This was because he had completely thrashed Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris in the first five seconds.
Of course, that would require Vin Diesel to be cool enough to stand in the same room as Chuck and Riot without his head exploding.
I think not.
I met Mr Riot at WWLA this year, and he told me that God rested on the seventh day because he asked Mr Riot to double-check his work.
Mr Riot saw that it was good, and Lo, It Came To Be.
When I had the audacity to question this story, Mr Riot called The Lord down from On High to confirm the story, which he promptly did. God then handed Mr Riot a hundred-dollar bill and returned to Heaven.
It's some pre-arranged agreement they have. I wasn't worthy enough to ask for details.
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