Thread "Rant, moan, rave and share - for all your chatter, natter, and wildebeest needs" in forum "Comic Talk and General Discussion *"

Posted at 3:06AM, Jun. 27, 2011

[-You know that weird feeling you get as a kid when you're taking out the rubbish at night, and it's all dark, you're alone, and suddenly you get spooked by some weird, unexplained terror and just HAVE to get back to safety and people as soon as you can?
That's what I meant.

For me the two fears have always been identical. That's what having social phobia is like. A simple smile from a pretty girl can be as terrifying to me as the leer of a hungry tiger. In fact the tiger is less scary because it'll just rend and tear at me to satisfy its hunger and I'll be in a pool of my own blood and gore. The hurt caused by another person in a relationship is ostensively far more painful and induces much more fear in social phobic me than what lingers in the dark when I'm taking out the trash. And I always take out the trash in the dark. :)

I have more trust in my physical reflexes than my emotional ones. The physical reflexes have been tested and I survived, the emotional ones are pretty pathetic. I've been emotionally crippled for most of my life.

Thank the mental health care industry for the progress I have been able to make.

Once I realized my shortcomings I was able to overcome them and was able to take the chance with the second redhead that I hadn't with the first. Even though she was the bipolar nutcase and the first was sweet and innocent. But you have to be able to take the chance despite the unreasonable fear.

Posted at 3:06AM, Jun. 27, 2011

Well I'm very happy for you that you were able to overcome your social problems in the end and you met a girl you liked :)

I'm happy too if you understood that my story and experience wasn't the same sort of thing as the one you were describing. I would hate for you to be labouring under an illusion of confluence because that goes exactly counter to the point of the story I was trying to relate. ;)

——————–

Be wary of buying cheap micro SD cards people… They're always labelled with a good brand like "San-disk" or something, but of course they're fake, which is why they're so cheap. They're ok enough for storage, but rely on them at your own cost :(

Posted at 6:06AM, Jun. 27, 2011

You know that weird feeling you get as a kid when you're taking out the rubbish at night, and it's all dark, you're alone, and suddenly you get spooked by some weird, unexplained terror and just HAVE to get back to safety and people as soon as you can?

LOL!! THAT reminded me of my brother when we were growing up. That EXACT example.

Our rubbish/garbage cans were literally four feet from the backdoor. Any time it was dark and he had to take the garbage out, he would start singing (and he cannot carry a tune): "I'm taking out the GARBAGE. YES! yes. takin out the Garbage." and then run, run four feet, slam the lids, and run back in.

I'm laughing just thinking about it.

—

I think I understand the "beautiful redhead grin" response. Back when, when a guy would smile at me I'd turn around to see who was in back of me – couldn't be Me. But his looks were not the deciding factor about whether I'd smile back– it was his eyes. sometimes there was a distinct and immediate skeeve factor that made think I was in the presence of Charles Manson, Jr.

Posted at 9:06AM, Jun. 27, 2011

Rent is paid, thanks to my borrowing money. I'm now about $1000 in the hole, owing cash money to a couple different people.

Friday I have to go to St. Louis (about an 11 hour drive) for a few days and am going to have about a hundred dollars to my name; which would be okay if it were just me, but my boyfriend's along too, so double the expenses. $100 is basically enough for our cigarettes and maybe like, a soda and candy bar.

So stressed that I'm just letting it the f*ck go.

Posted at 10:06AM, Jun. 27, 2011

Con season is giving me stress already, and i dont even have to work at either of em this year~ good thing too, cuz i nearly killed myself last time x__x

my friend said i was sweating GRAY…yummmm
XD

back to arts~!!

Posted at 2:06PM, Jun. 27, 2011

[The fear reaction is the same as are the thought processes behind them. Our minds are hard wired that way. I had the reaction every time.

The most terrifying moments in my life have been the smiles of young ladies.
—

True story: there was this beautiful girl who drove a huge truck (the Harley Davidson special edition) During the summer she once came into the station and it was wonderful to watch her in the daisy dukes and bikini top jumping up to close her truck's hood.
When I was working nights all of sudden she started coming in twice a week and kept trying to talk to me. I stuttered and was scared witless unless I kept to my lines as a customer service representative. (How can I help you, cash or credit, etc)
When I switched to mornings she started showing up in the morning to get gas. I didn't look at her because I couldn't without that wonderful flight or fight fear reaction. Perspiration, shaking, and stuttering. Like looking at a cobra ready to strike.
We were having a nice discussion about vacations and I mentioned the wife. You never felt the air freeze up so fast and she never came in again.

Posted at 6:06PM, Jun. 27, 2011

I wonder… if I was a ruthless person and really really evil…

I'd be a con-artist. And an effective one too.

I'd leave it at that. lol!

Posted at 7:06PM, Jun. 27, 2011

I need to think of two separate graduation presents(from each of my parents). But my dad says I can't have a snake, and that's all I really want right now. So I don't know. Any ideas?

-A Cintiq
-A copy of a Creative Suite.
-Go for a lizard, still a reptile, but less likely to creep people out.

Posted at 8:06PM, Jun. 27, 2011

I need to think of two separate graduation presents(from each of my parents). But my dad says I can't have a snake, and that's all I really want right now. So I don't know. Any ideas?

-A Cintiq
-A copy of a Creative Suite.
-Go for a lizard, still a reptile, but less likely to creep people out.

I would love a Cintiq, but I think that's outside the price range…especially since they're more expensive in Canada.
Naw my dad isn't creeped out by snakes(I do have a rat, after all). He just won't let me have any more pets. Which I guess is understandable. : (

I just asked my dad to get me a nice new desk chair. I found my current chair in the back alley and it's pretty broken.
Don't know what to ask for from my mom, though. If she just gives me money I'll put it straight into my savings, because that's what I always do. And that's not very fun. Gift card might work.

Posted at 9:06PM, Jun. 27, 2011

I wonder… if I was a ruthless person and really really evil…

I'd be a con-artist. And an effective one too.

I'd leave it at that. lol!

If I was an especially evil ruthless person I'd be… a COP.

Yep… be thankful that I'm so laid back that I'd rather be a security officer watching my own little place rather than an evil man in a police car. :evil:

Posted at 10:06PM, Jun. 27, 2011

[The fear reaction is the same as are the thought processes behind them. Our minds are hard wired that way.

While these vignettes from your life are entertaining and enlightening about you Bravo, but I'm afraid they aren't always as universal as you apparently believe. ;)

-When being very literal and universal about everything you can make serious errors- For example, what Hippie Van said about the only thing she wanted right now being a snake but her dad wouldn't allow it, and I made a stupid joke remark about that sounding rude and biblical- If I was a real Freudian tit then I'd would've actually been serious about and gone on to explain just why it was so. It would have been amazingly offensive, inappropriate, and above all; quite wrong. :\
Which is why I use my knowledge of the outdated, crude Freudian perspective on symbolism for humour rather than social converse.

I'm sorry if I gave you such a mistaken impression, but the reason I related that story was to illustrate an unusual occurrence.
Sorry to seem like I'm jumping down your throat, I don't want to offend, alienate, or belittle you, but re-framing other people's personal motivations for no other reason than to fit into your own preconceptions is a little rude, especially when you persist.

———–

Now that's out of my system- I am horribly damp today. It rained like a bugger, it's chilly, and I'm simply just not drying out! These norks in the office always keep it way too cool. Now this might be offensive, but never let a woman over 50 anywhere near a thermostat.
That's all I'll say.

Posted at 11:06PM, Jun. 27, 2011

I am horribly damp today. It rained like a bugger, it's chilly, and I'm simply just not drying out! These norks in the office always keep it way too cool. Now this might be offensive, but never let a woman over 50 anywhere near a thermostat.
That's all I'll say.

It's been raining quite a bit here too. At least I can see/hear it coming while at work. There's no mistaking that huge gray mass of a cloud in the clear night sky and that sound of a freight train in the distance where the cloud is coming from. I got rained on all night long and since I'm not allowed to take any shelter in any of the buildings OR my car I had an umbrella over my head… one that was advertised as "waterproof". Except I've found that any umbrella that's made of nylon cloth or something similar is more "water resistant". For some odd reason if you stand under the rain long enough the thing starts to leak really REALLY BADLY. My last umbrella had its ribs rust out from under it after only a few months…

Posted at 1:06AM, Jun. 28, 2011

It's not often I can say I have refrigerator related wounds, but this day would be amongst them. Carrying a fridge down the stairs was, ah, fun. Especially when the other guy carrying it down needs to rest his hands. So I got mashed between the bottom wall of the stairwell and the pointy underside edge of the fridge. Got this real nice bruise on my neck/shoulder area in the shape of a check mark, which was probably the corner edge of the fridge itself. On the plus side, I am moved into a new apartment after a week's worth of effort. Now to just get the new scanner online…

Posted at 2:06AM, Jun. 28, 2011

Now that's out of my system- I am horribly damp today. It rained like a bugger, it's chilly, and I'm simply just not drying out! These norks in the office always keep it way too cool. Now this might be offensive, but never let a woman over 50 anywhere near a thermostat.
That's all I'll say.

I hate to break it to you…

But its nice and warm over here in the east all of a sudden. ;)

Oh and yes, I believe its menopause. I used to go to mum's work, which consisted of no body under the age of 50 and every single one of them female, they had the air con on all the time and it was always FREEZING COLD and yet they complained about it being too hot still and that the air con wasn't working, while I slowly started to lose all feeling in my fingers and toes and actually used my bobs to keep my face warm.

That's right.

The secret is out.

——

Goods break at dads, lots of fun with him and my older sister. However, no fun with older brother. Uuuughhh, remember how I knew I was going to ate being there because of him and his depressing ways? Yep, it happened. Only this time he acted like a dick to everyone at a dinner which was for my sister's 24th birthday, where he proceeded to complain about how shit Uni was (even though he doens't even GO to uni, its just that me and Amy were talking about it) and berated me on how rude and stupid I was while my father just stood by and didn't do anything.

Ugh.

—–

In other news. I have a massive sore just in the corner of my mouth, and every time I yawn, laugh, talk, or eat, it splits and bleeds every where and hurts like hell.

WOOOOOOO.

Posted at 3:06AM, Jun. 28, 2011

Jumping down throat

If did jump down my throat I am quite able to chew you up and spit you out. :)

WTF? We're talking around each other and not to each other. Fear is a universal reaction. There is no disputing that. When and where you react that way isn't and I never said it was. How you deal with your fear differntiates people too. There's something to be said for insouciance and there's something to said for caution and flight and then there's harnessing your fear to get the job done. I've had to make the change in how I deal with it because of how universal it is in my life. It's an unreasonable fear. There's no reason for it and it's not universal.

I was saying that I have probably had to deal with more fear in my life in a lot more situations than most. What for you is an unusual occurence has been an everyday thing for me. That's what I meant. That's where you and I differ thankfully. Feeling fear is universal, when and where you do and how you deal with it is most definitely not. I was only hoping you would understand what I've been through because of the one rare occurence in your life with what I have had to deal with every waking moment and quite a few sleeping ones. Let no more be said of this.

—

So a good friend's wife has breast cancer and went for her masectomy yesterday. One of those situations where you have no idea what to say because it has all been said before.

I can express my hope for a favorable outcome and my faith in modern medicine while everyone around me offers prayers. Coincidentally there was an entire issue of Free Inquiry about this very topic last month.

—
Onlyfoolsandvikings:

The wife is in menopause so she turns down the thermostat everywhere so I feel your chill. Then there's sleeping next what amounts to a space heater in a New Jersey summer. I wake up dripping in sweat and it's below 65 degrees in the room. Then I put a hand on the wife and jerk away like I had put it on the stove.

Posted at 6:06AM, Jun. 28, 2011

blah, dealing with viruses- computery ones.

my computer systems were so old it seems, that the trojans and whatever other viruses had nothing to work with. it wasn't until we started updating that it became feasible for it to attack them. at least that's my theory…

meh.

————-
bravo, i wish the best of luck for your friends.

Posted at 7:06AM, Jun. 28, 2011

I learned yesterday that even tho key west is only 150 miles away, it's still a 4 hour car drive….all the tourists going down the highway at 40 miles an hour…bunch of jerks.
—-

i also began to feel bad about city dwellers. let's take miami for example. we went to my grandparents old house (they moved out after hurricane andrew in '92). then she took me to her first apartment, her first house (which is now a shopping center they were building right before she moved out), my aunts first house, my aunts new house.
we traveled a grand total of 5 miles.
city people have everything and more that they need within 20 miles. and if you live in a location like miami, there's weekend vacations in the keys. so no need to go anywhere.
i would hate living in a city. i love travel.
———-

the wedding was small, but the reception WAS HUGE. i think there were triple the people there were at the wedding. my mom said it costs twice what she paid for her house. started up the dance floor. it was great.

Posted at 8:06AM, Jun. 28, 2011

Amount of things I've accomplished this summer:
Nothing.

…well at least I have one down.

—

Working on a covers album though. Could be cool because I'd upload it and then anyone could get it for free.

And that just gets my name and music out there.

Example artists:
Oasis
Amanda Fucking Palmer
Pink Floyd
Jonathan Coulton
…

I've got a song from each of them going on there plus multiple others that I don't wanna say until it's out there.

You can actually look at that in my forum, link in sig.

—

I have a job stacking wood for my neighbor and the plan is: buy a laptop.

This way I don't have to deal with my shitty computer and/or my brother being on it.

And I can stop worrying about him reading my documents, like a journal or a story that's not appropriate for him.

Posted at 9:06AM, Jun. 28, 2011

doin some house paintin yesterday an when i do this, my grandpa who used to be a house painter comes around (he is dead).

so i'm way down on the floor an i get this idea to make an sell custom wall mirrors, but when i open my trap an state this idea, a stepladder comes crushin down on my head so hard i see stars and little birdies circlin around

this is definitely granpa tryin to give me his opinion on on my future in custom wall mirrors, but does he dig custom wall mirrors or does he not dig custom wall mirrors?

Posted at 2:06PM, Jun. 28, 2011

Having a high anxiety day…one of those ones where I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack all day. I think I'm stressed out about needing a new job.

Posted at 4:06PM, Jun. 28, 2011

Going to have a rather boring thee week term holiday it appears. I've got a Massive SGP to write, an Ancient History Essay and an English speech, all of which will determine whether I pass or end up in a box on te street begging for scraps. Plus I have comics to work on, art works to get in to various people and family stuff going on, so it looks like I'm going to have no time to do anything.

Oh, and I got scared shitless last night when I was woken by the sound of some kind of scurrying under the floor boards. I thought I was imagining it, and lay back down and thne it started up again. I thought rationally to myself saying: "Its a rat, its a rat, its nothing more then a rat." But as I am in a dark room, in a creepy old house, new thoughts come in going: "HOLYSHIT, ITS A MONSTER. GTFO OF THERE."

And then I couldn't go back to sleep.

Yay.

Posted at 4:06PM, Jun. 28, 2011

I started doing some research on my comics subject…after I'd completed 35 pages.

If anyone asks i can still be like "it's fantasee". Plus real life kings and queens seem to have been smallpox scar stricken stinky flea bitten religious baby machines, with the royal mistress being oh so sexy and my shirt opened?

Also i'm glad comics and video games set back in the days don't have smell-o-vision.

Posted at 10:06PM, Jun. 28, 2011

FINISHED!

Remember my half finished snow leopard of death that I uploaded a while back where I complained about not being able to finish it because it was massive and I was really lazy and had too much going on?

Well I finished it, just then.

Oh yeah!

And now… back to Essay writing.

Posted at 2:06AM, Jun. 29, 2011

Ugh… I hate it when I look at beautiful women. They give me a major headache… which reminds me that I need to stop wearing tight pants.

———–
Okay… now that the crude joke is out of the way…
———–

Didn't get any sleep last night. Just lay there in the dark looking at the ceiling and wonder about everything… Even thought of knocking myself out with my sledgehammer, but then that'd put me out permanently. Oh, well…

Tried to think up a comic idea for Comic Fury again… but for some reason all those ideas keep leading me back to the Drunk Duck. O_O

I guess I'll sit here and keep reading the forums now that I can't sleep yet. :(

Posted at 2:06AM, Jun. 29, 2011

Ugh… I hate it when I look at beautiful women. They give me a major headache… which reminds me that I need to stop wearing tight pants.

Sorry about that, would you like me to leave the room? :)