Thread "Mr. Riot Jokes!" in forum "I'm With Riot"

Posted at 2:07AM, Jul. 17, 2007

Riot doesn't trip, the ground just wants to hug him because he's awesome.

Doors that are welded shut open for Riot if they know what's good for them.

Riot doesn't eat food; food spontanously jumps into his mouth as a willing sacrifice.

Riot's folding chair was made with his own bare hands.

Riot's folding chair used to be known as Chuck Norris.
((The previous two were inspired by the furniture and Queen o' England jokes.))

The moon doesn't revolve around earth, it revolves around Riot.

Riot's comics don't have readers, they have worshippers.

(All these I made up, though I might have been thinking of other jokes when writing them.)

Posted at 2:07AM, Jul. 17, 2007

Mr. Riot created, and has since exceeded the set power limit of niiiiiiiiiine thooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuussssaaaaaannnnndddddd!!!!!!

Mr Riot built the tower of babel one weekend when he had nothing to do. He tore it down shortly thereafter because it was almost as tall as he is awesome. He was quoted saying "Nothing can measure up to my awesome. Even something *I* built."
It's said this was his single most humbling experience.

Posted at 7:07AM, Jul. 17, 2007

When the Bogeyman goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Mr. Riot.

Posted at 2:07PM, Jul. 17, 2007

Gravity is the Earth's way of showing respect to Mr. Riot.

The world spins because Mr. Riot said so.

Posted at 7:07PM, Jul. 17, 2007

No, that isn't a MagLite in Mr. Riot's pocket, and actually, he isn't even glad to see you.

The Audubon Society has begged Mr. Riot to keep his shirt on when outside, since even the briefest glimpse of his shining abs causes birds to fall from the sky.

Posted at 9:07PM, Jul. 17, 2007

Some guys piss their name in the snow. Mr Riot can piss his name in concrete.

Mr Riot can build a snowman out of rain.

Mr Riot can speak braille.

…

Mr. Riot is … awesome…

… i guess. That's all I've got.

Posted at 4:07AM, Jul. 18, 2007

MrRiot: the OTHER major food group

Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly…well enough about MrRiot! How are you?

these are more one liners arent they ?

lol

Posted at 12:07AM, Jul. 19, 2007

Ugh! Rioters!

Riot is so evil and dangerous the US has officially declared him a "Rouge State".

North Korea just became the most deadly country in the world when they developed an ICBR: Intercontinental Ballistic Riot.

Riot is the only supervillain ever to successfully kill James Bond.

Riot is so evil, he makes Darth Vader look like Hayden Christensen!

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 19, 2007

Ugh! Rioters!

Riot is so evil and dangerous the US has officially declared him a "Rouge State".

North Korea just became the most deadly country in the world when they developed an ICBR: Intercontinental Ballistic Riot.

Riot is the only supervillain ever to successfully kill James Bond.

Riot is so evil, he makes Darth Vader look like Hayden Christensen!

Yeah! I'm a rogue state! Wah-nananana Wah-nananana Rogue staaaaate! Yeeeaaaahhhh!

Posted at 2:07AM, Jul. 19, 2007

Ugh! Rioters!

Riot is so evil and dangerous the US has officially declared him a "Rouge State".

wait…isn't Rouge that stuff that women wear to make their cheeks red?
Are you calling Mr.Riot some sort of feminie makeup kit?
Is that what you are doing? Hmm? Hmmm?
is it?
Hmmm?
Well?

Well then. Carry on I suppose.

Posted at 3:07AM, Jul. 19, 2007

Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Riot, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, saying 'Yo Mom!' instead of 'no', and the feeling of being repeatedly smacked over the head with an adamantium folding chair.

Posted at 6:07AM, Jul. 19, 2007

(Riot bites people now? Has he been hanging out with Bite Girl too much.)

It has long been believed that the first sound made by the Universe was 'Om' after much research it has now been discovered to be 'Riot'.

Posted at 7:07PM, Jul. 19, 2007

Riot can paralyze demons simply by hanging around in his underwear.

Posted at 4:07AM, Jul. 20, 2007

(Riot bites people now? Has he been hanging out with Bite Girl too much.)

It has long been believed that the first sound made by the Universe was 'Om' after much research it has now been discovered to be 'Riot'.

There's no such thing as hanging out with Bite Girl too much. She makes the BEST cookies.

Posted at 12:07PM, Jul. 20, 2007

Mr. Riot uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Posted at 2:07PM, Jul. 20, 2007

Riot can paralyze demons simply by hanging around in his underwear.

*Sob* Its true!

Posted at 10:07PM, Jul. 20, 2007

Mr. Riot isn't afraid of the dark; the dark is afraid of Mr. Riot.

When Mr. Riot had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Mr. Riot ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Mr. Riot.

Mr. Riot isn't lactose intolerant. He just doesn't put up with lactose's shit.

Mr. Riot can touch MC Hammer.

Posted at 10:07PM, Jul. 20, 2007

The ancient Egyptians didn't worship Mr.Riot…and now they're all dead.
Coincidence?

Is it wrong for me to contribute to these?

Posted at 9:07PM, Jul. 21, 2007

The cheif export of Mr. Riot is pain.

The three leading causes of death in the US are: Mr. Riot, Chuck Norris, and Heart Disease.

Mr. Riot drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Posted at 1:07AM, Jul. 22, 2007

Dude. I should get an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. :D

Posted at 1:07PM, Jul. 23, 2007

You know there was originally four wise men who went to see Jesus? Well it turned out
Mr. Riot was the 4th wise man and he gave baby Jesus an exact replica of his folded riot chair. The other three wise men were so jealous, they decided to exclude riot from the bible, thus why we have 3 wise men shown in the bible.