Feeling frustrated that the blackmail was NOT interpreted properly, Tantz did rush to her keyboard, this time to just type out a disclaimer: "GUYS… it was blackmail by the PEOPLE to just let the Greeks kick out the IMF and their stooges and be LEFT ALONE."
It was then, while she was thinking of a way to disseminate the message, that her glance fell on a giant billboard paid by Harkovast saying READ HARKOVAST and featuring interesting furries.
Within her tank she typed up her orders, then leaned back and watched, as innumerable cute white fez-wearing goats with the message of "Loans already paid 3-fold, Sod Off" start swamping the terrain.
Going super sayan has a great effect to Pit-Face too: her amnestitis is CURED… and suddenly she remembers EVERYTHING.
It might even begin interfering with the ever-popular and notorious Bravo Bug, let alone the nefarious plans of Ironscarf and his gang…
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Comic Talk and General Discussion *
WHAT' HAPPENED WHILE I WAS AWAY? -new DD Quackcast community Soap! Feel free to join in ^_^
Meanwhile in the warehouse Gunwallace sighs contentedly as his boobs disappear as a pleasant scent wafts through the air. Abt_Nihil sits down disgusted that he totally missed the boobonic plague. He reaches out to pet one of the fez wearing goats that have strayed in and are eating up all the boob bushes.
Deep in his underground lair Ironscarf rubs his hands in glee and then puts his pinky tothe side of his smiling mouth. "I have them all just where I want them!"
He snaps his finger and Lonneheart runs up wearing an eyepatch and hands Ironscarf a huge red button. Ironscarf puts his pinky to his mouth again and presses the red button.
Abt_Nihil looks in terror as each and every goat, having eaten all the Magic Boob Trees suddenly stop in mid chew, and their eyes turn red. A hatch opens in their back and the sign about paying the debt drops away replaced by a 7.62 mm minigun. Unbeknownst to Tantz and nearly everyone else except seventy-two who is powerless to do anything stuck as he is in a trunk in the Marianas Trench and Ayesinback who is trying desperately to escape Roikilly's dungeon with Banes, Ironscarf had secretly converted each and every one of the cute fluffy goats in the Dreaded BATTLE GOAT.
Banes removes his push-up bra in disgust, his boobs having gone away. Ayesinback runs for the nearest exit hoping to warn the world of the impending attack of the BATTLE GOATs. As she reaches the surface she realizes she is too late.
However, Pit_Face smiles in glee as all the BATTLE GOATs have truly made her surroundings a target-rich enviornment. She switches her Gegundus 1000 gun to fully-super-duper extra automatic and opens fire yelling "Goat hunting season is now open!"
Meanwhile in a deert somewhere far away form everything else Ozoneocean looks up at the horizon to see a goat with a machine gun sticking out of its back.
Kyupol waves his finger in the air. "The Ironscarf conspiracy!" He says as he recieves the psychic transmission from seventy_two deep in his trunk in the Marianas Trench.
Ozone shakes his head and mumbles, "What this story needs are mecha-giant robots." Minigun bullets start impacting all around him and he dives for cover behind the large fingers the richoceting bullets have revealed beneath the sand.
"Wait a cottonpicking minute! These are giant fingers!" He exclaims and he begins to dig down into the sand and discovers the cockpit of a giant robot.
Genejoke wrote:
Some are short and could be merged.
true. But I do suggest people dib on what they'll be sending in as a recording - otherwise . . . And I also think first focus should be on those posts that move the plot along, versus the commentary ones.
—
got "mine" done (skoolmunkee's post - tried to sound evil, but - well, not so much)
And suddenly everything came to a lurching halt. Every character pulled out a laptop and a microphone and began to narrate.
"Hey guys we got minigun wielding BATTLE GOATS here…and ozone on a quest and epic love and time travel…"
"Don't bother me, I'm trying to sound eeeveeel here," Ayesinback snapped.
My wife is always wondering who I'm talking to because I read my installments out loud to test the narrative flow. :D
Tantz Aerine opened the hatch on her tank and scratched her head. "Wasn't there a nuclear holocaust when the music started playing?"
Harkovast put his breastplat back on now that his chest was back to normal. "No, that was nuclear Hark-o-vast." Bullets splattered everywhere from the Battle Goats and Pit_Face's Gegundus 1000 gun.
Tantz grimaced at the vastly horrid pun and closed the hatch on her tank. She jumped down into the gunner's seat to adjust the controls for the coax machine gun. For the first time she noticed scribbled in the corner of the gunner's controls Bravo was here 1992 Armor rules. She was inside Bravo1102's original tank. (This could actually be true as some of the M60A3's I served on were sold to Greece)
Meanwhile, some place entirely untouched by madness and extra pairs of breasts, an incredibly talented young writer finds his hopes of ever writing a brilliant radioplay crushed by the sheer madness forced upon him by those participating in the quiackcast community soap. The random and magnificent ideas that sprout from the minds of these idiots, madmen and morons completely dwarves any inginuity that might possibly be present in one such a radioplay.
ayesinback wrote:Ah, I don't mind! I'll take whichever you guys think you'd like me to read. (my accent is very flat and Greek, just saying)
imo, there are several posts (at least two of mine) that should not be read because they don't develop the plot.
So Genejoke has the first read. I call dibs on skoolmunkee's (there's a NickyP update inbetween). Tantz: call your post!
In the basement of a rundown tenement house on Locust Street, a street so small and dark that it's often confused for an alley, the Powers-That-Be gathered for a discussion of who was to read what, and some good ol wine and beer swilling.
"Herk - I didn't know I was a Power," hiccupped Lonnehart. (Although he does not imbibe, he does hiccup).
"Yeah, well, I did know I'm a power; just didn't know any one else knew it," announced RPGgrenade, who was imbibing without hiccupping.
skool, the ultimate power that everyone knew about, was teleconferencing. "Get on with it," she advised.
"Oh! Yeah. yes, skoolmunkee! Yes, Ma'am. er, sir," came the assorted voices. skool sighed: "Can you please just go on and decide who's reading what?"
"Sure. So, I see the line up: as Genejoke, Niccea, Nicky, Pit, Tantz, ayes . . .." rattled off seventy-2.
While everyone was still trying to guess when 72 showed up, bravo1102 countered: "Nah - don't think so - ayes says she's already done the 3rd one, evil-like."
ayes spoke up: "That's right. and I said it ages ago. So is it Genejoke, Niccea, ayes -"
Hark interrupted: "READ HARKOVAST! sorry – habit. Anyway, who said Niccea does the 2nd? That's NickyP's post. I think PIT should do it".
With that, the room went amuck, with El Cid as Prime Minister of Iceland tapping his fingers together looking more than pleased.
"Why Oh Why," said sweet-voiced Hippie Van, "Can't people decide for themselves which post they will record and then just let everyone know what it is so we can move on with it."
and skool was pleased. we have to believe. she had hung up on the teleconference call some time ago.
A distraction like this in a round robin story usually spells the end of the story line. Just saying.
And silence decended upon the field as every one scattered to record their bits and the BATTLE GOATS and burning airships and wilted boob trees were left to rot in the sunshine of another day.
Then a light snow began to fall as the flames died down and the goats began to peacefully graze as still no one appeared to add to the story. Bells and carol singing were heard off in the distance as an empty trunk bobbed to the surface somewhere in the South Pacific with a tiny sign attached.
"Merry Christmas, be back in the New Year."
Bravo wrapped himself in his camouflage snuggie and aimed his remote at the TV, settling in to watch a marathon of all the different remakes of A Christmas Carol.
And a merry Christmas to all and to all a happy and safe New Year.
And while the Powers That Be continued their spirited discussion of hooo-keeled-hooo (oh no no, wrong story), of who would read what, and while Bravo luxuriated in his most thrilling eBay purchase EVAH (the camouflage snuggie), NickyP turned on the broadcast, just in case there was something awesome going on.
and there was.
All the powers heard it. NickyP was on the ethernet (and sounding damn good. Again).
"Wait!" cried PIT_FACE, deflatedly - "You mean, the Whole Story is Out There? Already?!!" and she grabbed her bottle of tequila - something she could trust - and did what must be done (she took a swallow, folks. hmmm).
"Yeah. The Whole Story," repeated Product Placement. "Well, a lot of the beginning anyway. THIS is no accident."
Meanwhile, ozoneocean was tapping his fingertips in a most Mr-Burns-ly fashion. "Time travel," thinks the Mr oz man, "not for the timid."
When suddenly HouseofMuses breaks down the door!! "There's F'n Battle Goats out there!" she screams.
Tantz Aerine takes a break from her ouzo. "Uh-huh. Big news report, like something from ancient Greece. And I know what I'm talking about."
Pit-face strode out onto the goat devastated battlefield in her Wendy O Williams get-up, looking decidedly hardcore and very spiky, as she crunched over the red gravel in her huge studded black knee high leather boots.
A hot breeze ruffled her impressive blonde Mohawk as she checked the sights on her enormous big-gun, calibrating them jusssst right.
"Now… What happened while I was Away?"
"…Ah, FORK it! All that matters is NOW and I'm gonna do sum blastin'!"
With that she raised her enormous firearm and began picking the tops off distant mountains with surprising accuracy.
Meanwhile, back in Duckam city, the dark knight Kroatz broods atop an unaccountably Gothic styled art-Deco themed skyscraper…
"I really need a crime to solve, or some bad guy to harass, but first I have to work out how to get DOWN from here!" -he moaned.
Meanwhile, several floors bellow him, in the very same skyscraper, in her posh penthouse apartment Ayesinback spooned instant coffee and sugar into a mug, adding some milk and then poured in water from her electric kettle. Bringing the cup to her lips she took a sip…
"Fhwaaar!" She spat.
"It's COLD! …and why would I ever drink instant coffee anyway?" she finished perplexedly as she hurled the miss-made concoction and cup against the wall with startling force.
All the way up on top of the tower the sound reached Koratz' ears.
"Crime is afoot and there is a mystery to solve" he hissed as he searched for a way down…
Kroatz stared intensely at the ladder that was conveniently placed on the other side of the street. Maybe if he jumped as hard as he could he would reach the ladder and easily make his way down to the unidentified noise he had heard a few seconds earlier.
Frustrated Ayesinback wandered to the window, half expecting lightning to spontaneously sprout from the clouds just to add extra strength to her words. She put her hands against the cool glass and in a dramatic voice she shouted: "Why would I EVER drink INSTANT coffee?!!!".
Ayesinback smashed her hand against the glass and just when she had decided to grab herself a bottle of wine, a plate of cheese and a spoon to eat both she heard a fain scream coming from up the tower, getting louder and louder.
Kroatz did not have legs strong enough to help him jump to the other side of the street. His fingers reached out for the ladder but missed it by just a few meters. Panic spread through his mind as he dropped down faster and faster. Bright windows he passed quickly turned into yellow blurs as Kroatz's vision became unclear. He thought he was having a heart attack as he saw the ground getting closer.
Ayesinback saw a fat guy in a batman suit falling down the sky. The only thing she said before she went to get her wine was: "Again..?"
What happens when an immovable object meets a fat guy in a batman suit? The guy in the batman suit hurts himself… A lot…
In his lair of perfect evil Ironscarf rubbed his hands in glee.
(Insert maniacal laughter here)
"Perfect, that idiot Kroatz didn't see the ladder right next to him again!" He said, "and all you did was throw a pillow case over it and a bright yellow one at that!"
Call me TOM smiled. "'nd niw of too spell baddly acros the sity!"
Ayesinback was about to go outside to check on the poor guy in the batman suit wiggling on the gorund all those stories below when she noticed her favorite bright yellow pillow case was missing.
Pit_face's beeper started going off as she blew up off another mountain top. "GOD-DARN-it! An emergency call NOW! Forgot I was on call today." She slung her huge weapon across her back and took off her Wendy O Williams bald/mohawk headpiece (Available on ebay along with camouflage snuggies!) and shrugged on her EMT/fire fighter uniform revealing her to be one of the Duckam City's BRAVEST!
(If you dear reader are so inclined you could insert a scene of her in her frilly lingerie here as she doffs her tight leather outfit for a crisp fire fighter uniform. The scene will be on the direct to DVD chronicle of this if we ever get the budget together)
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